OriginalBehaviour123
Fapstronaut
Introduction
Once upon a time, there was a very close person to me who wanted me to help them get over pornography addiction. At the time I wasn't serious and I didn't care much for my addiction. Nonetheless, I spent time trying to figure out how to help them overcome theirs. So I sat and planned this out on a notebook, and I came up with this theory. After a few months of applying this strategy, that person is now fully porn-free and doesn't struggle anymore. That person is actually the reason I was inspired to decide to remove pornography from my own life.
The Theory
I believe that pornography addiction has many "factors", and what factors it takes on can vary from person to person.
I believe that if a person truly wishes to eradicate this addiction from their life, they need to approach all the factors with strategies meant for each one.
Below I have listed my sample strategies for some factors I came up with.
~~~
-"Emotional understanding" factor: the strength one has over their understanding of their emotions and thoughts.
*Journal your thoughts when you get urges, either through video, notebook, or audio. The best is video. (Maybe set a scale for how much to journal? So from 1 to 3, depending on how strong the urge is, that's how many pages you write?)
-"Accountability" factor: how well a person holds his or her self accountable to consequences of actions.
*Every time you give in to the addiction, you lose 5 dollars. Not to charity. You have to rip it apart.
*You detail all the things you do to someone. Every detail. Every time you do it. It must be someone you'd feel bad to tell it to (perhaps a family member or significant other).
-"Sense of accomplishment" factor: how accomplished one feels with their successes.
*Have a calendar and mark it for every day (success or failure).
*Reward yourself. Maybe for every urge you fight, or every journal entry, you get something?
-"Pleasure" factor: the raw pleasure one has in their life to counteract the pleasure that comes with pornography.
*This may be a stupid idea, but it's the "ice cream strategy". Basically you store two ice creams in your fridge. Whenever you have an urge, you get to eat an ice cream (and then later buy one to replace the one you ate). You eat this ice cream with the conviction that you will not give in to the addiction, and this is your reward, and also to give yourself some time to self-reflect while eating the ice cream.
*I once had a system. Basically, I'd do a video journal every time i had an urge, and for every video i do, i get a snack. As the number of videos goes up, so does the price/type of snack. It resets every 5 videos. It helped me a LOT.
(For example: 1 video = soda, 2 videos = oreo cookies, 3 videos = bag of chips, 4 videos = expensive ice cream, 5 videos = burger meal)
-"Shame" factor: the amount of shame one has from pornography (this is viewed in a negative sense; shame can make the addiction worse because it drives one to feel that it doesn’t matter whether they give in to the addiction or not).
*I’m not fully equipped to know how to handle this, but i think this video might help:
.
-"Loneliness" factor: this is about ones loneliness.
*Most likely, the best thing to do is to speak to a therapist or adult. I’m not fully equipped to deal with this.
*From my travels, I've noticed this always happens to people who lack passion. Find a passion and your true purpose in life. Something you wanna fight for. A dream.
-"Self esteem" factor: this is about ones self esteem.
*Read the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens” by Sean Covey.
*Watch #UnLearn by Humble the Poet, this YouTube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUiUxHJ5TmklkjN2PNt7vqivUJ_bnhFkJ.
-"Boredom" factor: this is about ones boredom and free time.
*This is tied to the loneliness factor, except this has more so to do with activities and “free time”. Your goal is to fill up that time. Find some hobbies and explore. Keep exploring until you find something. You might give up something after a few days, but it’s good to keep exploring. With the experience, you grow. (Maybe have a bucket list of all the things you’ve wanted to learn about, and spend a few days on each thing? At the end you might decide to fully pursue one of those things.)
(These are some examples of hobbies or ways to fill up free time: studying history, studying psychology, studying the stock market, photography, working out, reading books, programming, studying vocabulary (at www.vocabulary.com), finding a job/internship.)
-”Intervention” factor: how well a person has set up a system that intervenes in the case of an emergency.
*Get web blockers. (Try https://getcoldturkey.com/ for your computer. They have their own list of pornography sites to block. When creating a list of sites to block, select the option to import adult sites. This will import their pre-set list of adult sites.)
(Also try https://useboomerang.com/spin/ for the phone.)
*Have a friend you can call at any time who would try their best to support you.
*Stay away from laptop for 10 minutes.
*Talk to yourself in the past. Admonish yourself. Think about why you regret.
*Remember your purpose/goal. What are you willing to sacrifice for it? How is porn gonna get in the way of it?
-”Self-care” factor: how well a person takes care of themself.
*Get proper sleep and exercise. I notice that when a person's sleep schedule is abnormal, they're more prone to the addiction because incorrect sleep patterns lead to stress or idleness.
~~~
Every person needs a plan tailored to them, with strategies that suit their lifestyle and personality. One must keep in mind that this is only a sample recipe, and that people may have unique factors not listed above. A plan, in my opinion, is best made together with a friend or an accountability group.
Good luck!
Once upon a time, there was a very close person to me who wanted me to help them get over pornography addiction. At the time I wasn't serious and I didn't care much for my addiction. Nonetheless, I spent time trying to figure out how to help them overcome theirs. So I sat and planned this out on a notebook, and I came up with this theory. After a few months of applying this strategy, that person is now fully porn-free and doesn't struggle anymore. That person is actually the reason I was inspired to decide to remove pornography from my own life.
The Theory
I believe that pornography addiction has many "factors", and what factors it takes on can vary from person to person.
I believe that if a person truly wishes to eradicate this addiction from their life, they need to approach all the factors with strategies meant for each one.
Below I have listed my sample strategies for some factors I came up with.
~~~
-"Emotional understanding" factor: the strength one has over their understanding of their emotions and thoughts.
*Journal your thoughts when you get urges, either through video, notebook, or audio. The best is video. (Maybe set a scale for how much to journal? So from 1 to 3, depending on how strong the urge is, that's how many pages you write?)
-"Accountability" factor: how well a person holds his or her self accountable to consequences of actions.
*Every time you give in to the addiction, you lose 5 dollars. Not to charity. You have to rip it apart.
*You detail all the things you do to someone. Every detail. Every time you do it. It must be someone you'd feel bad to tell it to (perhaps a family member or significant other).
-"Sense of accomplishment" factor: how accomplished one feels with their successes.
*Have a calendar and mark it for every day (success or failure).
*Reward yourself. Maybe for every urge you fight, or every journal entry, you get something?
-"Pleasure" factor: the raw pleasure one has in their life to counteract the pleasure that comes with pornography.
*This may be a stupid idea, but it's the "ice cream strategy". Basically you store two ice creams in your fridge. Whenever you have an urge, you get to eat an ice cream (and then later buy one to replace the one you ate). You eat this ice cream with the conviction that you will not give in to the addiction, and this is your reward, and also to give yourself some time to self-reflect while eating the ice cream.
*I once had a system. Basically, I'd do a video journal every time i had an urge, and for every video i do, i get a snack. As the number of videos goes up, so does the price/type of snack. It resets every 5 videos. It helped me a LOT.
(For example: 1 video = soda, 2 videos = oreo cookies, 3 videos = bag of chips, 4 videos = expensive ice cream, 5 videos = burger meal)
-"Shame" factor: the amount of shame one has from pornography (this is viewed in a negative sense; shame can make the addiction worse because it drives one to feel that it doesn’t matter whether they give in to the addiction or not).
*I’m not fully equipped to know how to handle this, but i think this video might help:
-"Loneliness" factor: this is about ones loneliness.
*Most likely, the best thing to do is to speak to a therapist or adult. I’m not fully equipped to deal with this.
*From my travels, I've noticed this always happens to people who lack passion. Find a passion and your true purpose in life. Something you wanna fight for. A dream.
-"Self esteem" factor: this is about ones self esteem.
*Read the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens” by Sean Covey.
*Watch #UnLearn by Humble the Poet, this YouTube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUiUxHJ5TmklkjN2PNt7vqivUJ_bnhFkJ.
-"Boredom" factor: this is about ones boredom and free time.
*This is tied to the loneliness factor, except this has more so to do with activities and “free time”. Your goal is to fill up that time. Find some hobbies and explore. Keep exploring until you find something. You might give up something after a few days, but it’s good to keep exploring. With the experience, you grow. (Maybe have a bucket list of all the things you’ve wanted to learn about, and spend a few days on each thing? At the end you might decide to fully pursue one of those things.)
(These are some examples of hobbies or ways to fill up free time: studying history, studying psychology, studying the stock market, photography, working out, reading books, programming, studying vocabulary (at www.vocabulary.com), finding a job/internship.)
-”Intervention” factor: how well a person has set up a system that intervenes in the case of an emergency.
*Get web blockers. (Try https://getcoldturkey.com/ for your computer. They have their own list of pornography sites to block. When creating a list of sites to block, select the option to import adult sites. This will import their pre-set list of adult sites.)
(Also try https://useboomerang.com/spin/ for the phone.)
*Have a friend you can call at any time who would try their best to support you.
*Stay away from laptop for 10 minutes.
*Talk to yourself in the past. Admonish yourself. Think about why you regret.
*Remember your purpose/goal. What are you willing to sacrifice for it? How is porn gonna get in the way of it?
-”Self-care” factor: how well a person takes care of themself.
*Get proper sleep and exercise. I notice that when a person's sleep schedule is abnormal, they're more prone to the addiction because incorrect sleep patterns lead to stress or idleness.
~~~
Every person needs a plan tailored to them, with strategies that suit their lifestyle and personality. One must keep in mind that this is only a sample recipe, and that people may have unique factors not listed above. A plan, in my opinion, is best made together with a friend or an accountability group.
Good luck!
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