The day my Marriage changed...

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by MaKa, Feb 7, 2016.

  1. MaKa

    MaKa Fapstronaut

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    I can't believe it's been 23 weeks and 3 days....or 164 days.....or 5 months and 12 days since that awful day I thought my whole world and everything I knew or thought it to be was utterly shattered. Totally collapsed actually. The mere devastation completely wrecked me and broke my spirit, my trust, and my heart. I dove head first into nofap, therapy, books, blogs, anything I could read and learn to help me help him. Help him. Fix him. He needed my help. All of this chaos of emotion, turmoil, and basically crisis mode to save my marriage that he,
    unbeknownst to me, was destroying every vow he promised just 3 years prior. I soon realized I needed to quickly shift my focus or I will literally sabatage my marriage from the mere fact that I wasn't taking care of the most important very thing that needed it the most. ME. I began taking care of ME. I couldn't fix him, he needed too. So, I did...I continued to love him, I continued to support him, I continued to encourage him, and I continued to take care of me, first and foremost. It has made me a better person, a better listener, a better partner, and has calmed me, somewhat of an inner peace with myself. I'm at peace. This has been a verrryyy long road but I can honestly say at this point, I'm glad about where we are at. Even with all of the hurt, pain, betrayal, and lies, I feel it has all made us so much stronger and more connected in a way I never thought possible. All in all, I'm grateful. We've made it thus far and we will keep going. As for my SO....he is 164 days pmo free. His steadfast devotion and determination to not give in and give up is remarkable and impressive. I'm so proud of him.

    Thank you all for your support and knowledge and we hope your all doing well and remain positive and hopeful.
     
    hope4healing, Rav70, TheWife and 2 others like this.
  2. i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut

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    It's great to hear about success stories like yours. Often the beginning of the road is filled with chaos, confusion, anger and depression. But after the initial betrayal is addressed the long process of recovery starts. Days turn into weeks which turn into months. As time goes by there's not much to report and many people's threads get abandoned and many stories are left unfinished. Too many times our attention is devoted to the new person in crisis and we don't hear about the success stories that we should be celebrating. I know there's still work to be done, but stories like yours gives hope to new ones that arrive that success is possible! Congratulations on 164 days!
     
    MaKa, TheWife and WifeInTheDark like this.
  3. MaKa

    MaKa Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. Your so right! Hence my reason for an update. It's not easy to spill my emotions in a forum such as this but also feel it to be somewhat therapeutic. I'm glad to share and hope my words can resonate some glimpse of hope. Long bumpy road here and still a very long road ahead but it's our path, and we're on the right track. Together.
     
    Rav70 likes this.

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