Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by LifeWorthLiving!!!, Jan 15, 2017.

  1. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut


    I have heard many different opinions on whether day counts matter. I am weighing in on it.

    I refer to a quote that said "the only reason to look back is to see how far you've progressed" Day counts enable us to see how far we have progressed. I don't know of another way to measure time.

    Another quote that I like - "tired of starting over? Then stop quitting."

    I connected with this site back in the summer after I made a decision to take this seriously, to do everything that I needed to do to knock out PMO. Before that, I would keep starting over and make apologies to keep my accountability. MANY apologies, but no real effort to make a change. I did not want to change. I did not want to look deeper. I was OK with half hearted effort and apologies to my accountability system. I keep thinking of the old definition of insanity "doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results."

    There was a point when I had to admit that I was playing a game. Go for 3-5 days, slip, binge for a week, connect with accountability, apologize, and move forward. I was satisfied with this but in a downward spiral. I did this for years. In my life I had 3 one months, a 6 week, and a 3.5 month. And too many 3-5 day runs to count.

    On May 23rd 2015, I did something different. I came across a perspective that led me to an online search on living without PMO. I saw people on youtube that spoke about the freedom that they found. I believed that it was possible because these people were free. I set disciplines on where I go mentally (no intentional fantasy) I set disciplines on where I go online and on TV. I set disciplines on prayer (hour daily). I learned that "blue balls" goes away through urination. I learned to exercize my pre-frontal cortex against my limbic system. I spoke to my urges with authority, telling it "NO, THIS IS NOT AN OPTION. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN ". I finally took this issue seriously.

    The result is that now I am looking back at 236 days no PMO. When I do get tempted to throw it all away, I have many methods to get past temptations, many that I have learned from others, but my day count's existence is another incentive to stay the course.

    How we mentally measure a slip is crucial. Do we go back to zero and start over? I personally believe that if we slip, we should count the first duration, include the slip, and add the second duration. For instance "3 months, 1 slip, 2 months, 1 slip, 4 months,". This helps avoid the temptation to binge before resetting.

    Stand strong everyone.

    Last edited: Jan 15, 2017
    Luz, Sailor93, im_alive and 4 others like this.
  2. Andyst343

    Andyst343 Fapstronaut

    Well put, well done 236 days that's fantastic. Relate very much to what you said about getting your mind set right and making that decision.
    Luz, DBug and LifeWorthLiving!!! like this.
  3. feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

    I have better luck taking one month at a time. If I go one entire calendar month, I give myself a small treat of some type.

    But I generally just try to go through one whole month... Then another whole month.... Then another whole month.... Without really thinking about the days overall.

    Just a series of one month checkpoints.
    im_alive likes this.

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