The Desperation in Loneliness

In loneliness, I wonder about the numerous scenes that have continued to play within my own imagination. Relapsing only ignites this strange feeling in craving more. It makes me wonder:

1. What is truly going on with me?
2. Am I really beginning to change from this terribly addictive behavior?
3. How will I be able to explain this one day if things become progressively worse?

To answer this question -- I decided to make a 2nd entry here as a new member.

I've been a member here before, years ago.

Then suddenly, my own ego was offended from not receiving any responses. Quite frankly, I gave up... Refusing to signing on from feeling sorry. Giving up on myself was easy to accept; the idea that masturbating is completely normal. Arguably, it was taught as apart of the development in human-beings.

I made the mistake in assuming that I can do better on my own, without help.

I was wrong.

I began to wonder the purpose in social intervention groups that encourage rehabilitation by our local peers. It all has a purpose. "Why not just give it another shot?" Is what I tell myself. If I fail -- I'll probably join, again. But that is why I am thankful for these communities, they serve a purpose in drawing light into a seriously growing situation in the lives of many people.

We might be facing a world-wide epidemic.

But this is another epidemic that doesn't receive enough attention. Did we ask ourselves the appropriate age for people to learn that pornography can be a real addiction? Did we ask ourselves the long-term consequences in constantly, masturbating? If we did -- I would like to know.