The difference between the jerk and the shy guy

Prepare yourself kids because I'm about to drop some knowledge.

If you haven't read my last post, I really encourage you to do it, it's called "This is how you start loving thyself TODAY" ( https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/this-is-how-you-start-loving-thyself-today.176365/ )

The last topic of that thread is what I want to talk about in this one. I know probably most of you are shy guys who deal with anxiety everyday and a biggie there is approaching women. There's two opposite poles in dating game which are the shy guys and the jerks, but how do you tell them apart? But most importantly is that if you want to get great with women you can't be either.

In the post I mentioned above I talk about a formula for success which is comfort + technique. The comfort is all the positive feelings you give yourself, which are "I'm great", "everything's ok", "doesn't matter that I did wrong". And the technique is that other side of yourself which tells you you're not good enough, that always push you towards perfection and never let's you take a break because you think you're going nowhere and nothing ever gives you fulfillment.

Ok now let's play some matching. The comfort sounds good right? Loving yourself no matter what sure is great. Well it isn't that good. You know who are the most comfortable guys? Jerks, because they approach women with plenty of confidence and do as they like which is tipically insulting the girl and that's why they are hated. You might say they still get laid, and you're right. Out of 10 women 1 will probably will like the jerk because confidence is attractive, the thing is he doesn't use that confidence to master the technique and therefore his chances of getting results are so low. The comfort doesn't imply that they really love themselves, it just means that when they have negative feelings their ego works as protection and showers all the negativity with too much positivity.

Flip the coin and we're matching the technique with the shy guys, which is probably most of you guys reading this. I'm a shy guy too so don't feel bad. This guy is very negative, he's always wondering why life is so shitty, he goes into youtube or google and type "how to pick up girls?" and watches all of the PUAs talking, so he knows all the theory but can't put it into practice. So he has the technique all memorized but doesn't have the comfort to put it into practice. He's always thinking his game or his approaches are not good enough. If you feel this way don't give up just yet.

Now what do you do if you're one of these two guys? Write this down: Balance. If you're the jerk draw in some negative thoughts to master the technique, say "ok, I'm not afraid to open a girl and start a conversation but when I say this she gets mad at me and I screw up". If you're the shy guy say "ok, I know what I have to do and what I have to say but I just need to chill, loosen up and feel comfortable with myself".

For the jerk is kinda hard to be your own critic because if you overdo it you might end up in the opposite pole not feeling good enough. If you're the shy guy it's somehow easier because you can shower yourself with positive thoughts, loving yourself, being your own wingman telling yourself "you've got this", and not letting rejection make you feel like shit. But again, don't overdo it.

Here's what happens: if you're positive and shower your ego with negative thoughts you're going to humble down, but if you overdo it you get to self deprication which is something you don't want to reach. If you're negative and shower self deprication with positivity you're going to find confidence, but overdo it and you find yourself with an ego that doesn't let you see the big picture. Makes sense right?

For the shy guys I have a bonus that will make you feel very positive which is.. Stop judging people. If you don't want to be affected by other people judging you, you need to stop judging other people. Focus on the positive side of everything until it becomes a habit. They say you can only think of a person doing something so bad if you can think of doing it yourself. If you're capable of thinking of someone criticizing you very badly is because you would do the exact same thing.

This isn't just for dating guys, this is the formula for success. If you need to remember it write it down: comfort + technique. If you're a fat guy or a skinny guy and you get yourself into the gym it means you're getting comfort and if you master the technique you're going to achieve success. If you want to quit your job you have to be comfortable with your decision and master the technique to get a better one. Your feelings need to work as a team.

If there's any Rick and Morty fans, remember "Rest and Ricklaxation". There was a positive Rick and there's was a toxic Rick, put them together and you've got genius. Make those voices in your head work together towards success.

Yes, we can.