The Dilemma...

Hey there,
Wishing you best of luck!!
You can make it mate!!!
Cheers

 

Don't worry about people disagreeing with you mate!!!
Your only focus is to learn from your mistakes and act accordingly. Okay!!?
Keep posting your journal in the forum!!
People actually give advice to you!!!!!
Start finalising goals for the day mate!! Keep working on yourself and I think you will make it!!!
Hoping to read your success story someday!!!
Cheers

 

40 year old Virgin? Dude, do you want to have kids or not????? You better do something about it FAST and with a young woman... no old than 30 for sure. Go to your church look for women there, if there is only grandmas ther ask if they have granddaughters! Ask them to introduce you. If not, drive to another church and repeat process!!! Noone else is going to bear your cross in this life.... So please take ownership of your actions, I beg of you until it is too late and you regret it until the rest of your life.

 

The idea that there are fixed "kinds of people" is a very insidious lie, one that even a lot of scientists believed in implicitly until neuroplasticity was proven, even in adults with learning disabilities. It's also divisive. That doesn't mean people aren't different, just that we can change even later in life and things aren't set in stone. There's no question things are more easily changed when you're young, but there are also people with really serious stuff that got over it late in life.

There's a lot that people can try but they don't because they think this way, either about themselves and/or other people. It relates to the psychological concept called learned helplessness. Sometimes it comes from information that is sketchy that gets passed on, and it sounds reasonable because people who are supposed to be authorities say it's that way and we end up buying it wholesale. So even when there are things that can help someone can be under the impression there's nothing that's going to make a difference so they don't try. It's almost like the thought or pessimistic position is the thing that is believed in above all rather than God or anything spiritual.

You might have heard the reasoning that you shouldn't judge either other people or yourself, that's God's job or something along those lines. But this kind of depressive tendency is really just judging yourself isn't it? And of course I hear you about the "probably not" helping you with your situation, but nobody said Nofap *alone* is a miracle cure for every single thing in the first place, and the other thing is whether you are then looking for help with those issues specifically.

Life isn't simple, but a lot of it is about being open and paying attention to things that can be helpful. You don't need to get super technical about the potential for something helpful but you do need to learn enough to appreciate it CAN work.

You know how to block access to porn on your router right? What if someone just came at that with the attitude of "it probably won't work" when you talk to them about it? You KNOW it works but they would need to listen to you long enough to get an inkling that it can work.

 

@OP I like your post because it reminds me of myself. I too was raised in a religious family and have tried my best to stick with it. But so many things seem to just not work. I haven't given up on god completely because to me life makes no sense without a greater purpose. But at the same time I'm having a hard time believing... Many paradoxes.

I've been battling with this addiction on and off for 14 years, made some nice streaks in that time, but most times were very dark, and long. In my current streak, I realized something : I do not need sex to live my life. Would I want sex with a loving partner ? Sure. But it's not a need.
Until very recently I thought that I needed intimacy with a woman, and since I had none, I resorted to PMO for fake intimacy. I thought that I needed sex on a somewhat regular basis. But I discovered that this is not true. These days I don't think about sex and I have no urges. A big weight has been lifted, I don't feel this pressure to watch P every day. I think I'm just starting recovery but I'm starting to feel free from this addiction. And my point is exactly this : it is only an addiction ! An alcoholic does not need alcohol to live, but it sure feels like it when he's quitting !

So to answer your question "So, why do I want to stop fapping?" : to just not be addicted anymore. To be free from this. To have this weight lifted, to break these chains. That is all.
Sure that will free up some of your time so you can do more productive things, you may feel better about yourself, and so on. But these are not the goal, they're side effects that I feel too many people praise, especially here on nofap.

Hope this encourages you. Love brother

 

For sure. In that regard, PM addiction is the worst thing. If you're an alcoholic I feel you can just tell pretty much everyone and they will support you. But many people, especially women, just don't understand the nature of PM addiction so they react poorly. I know because I've heard one very close family member being outraged and disgusted talking about the behaviour of some men. I was in the room, I said nothing but I felt so judged and shameful.