Day 15! I recommend the app Break free it helps you keep count How is it going? I gotta admit, it isn’t easy for me anymore. I’m in a critical stage now i think. On average this is as much as my streak goes. A couple of days ago I had this weird day dream rape phantasy (yup, I know, awkward), it really disturbed me. it doesn’t make it easier that two girls I find attractive keep flirting with me and one of them even arranged a date for us. Also a third girl is flirting with me, who I don’t find attractive tho. Even a long time crush I had been simping over for like 2 years suddenly decided to tell me she would love to see me?? What the hell is going on!? I didn’t have a girlfriend for almost two years! Admittedly, today I tried to look up porn but thankfully I had good content blockers, so it didn’t go beyond that. I did see thumbnails though, hope it doesn’t count as a relapse. It’s really strange, typical addict behavior. I don’t understand why I would do that, it makes no sense whatsoever. I’m really afraid of relapsing. Because - how can I trust myself if I can’t beat this stupid shit? How can I aim for big and important things if I can’t fix this embarrassing and unimportant shit!? how do we stop ourselves from doing something irrational when we know perfectly well how irrational and stupid it is? How do I want what I want, always, not just when my mind is clear?
Goin great, I might not have any social skills or anything new developed but I feel more ballsy whenever I talk to anyone As for my streak, probably in the hundreds but because I don't count it, I don't get all worked up with trying to maintain a big number and instead focus on a single day at a time Also, I don't have any experience dating outside of one time that ended horribly, but it sounds like that's a good thing I deal with urges as they come by working out, usually just dropping and giving 20 or 30 pushups and if that doesn't work, I try pull ups til failure but the biggest thing in my experience is that being able to avoid PMO while calm is like doing warm up reps, and trying to fight the urge while the thoughts are pouring in is like trying to set a new PR, you just gotta keep on pushing through til you make it
@ARCEUS checking in, I reset once, but because of the five day rule our fight continues. I want to give you a good fight. I’ll try harder.
Ok now I made some repeated cycle of a relapse It started of with late sleep, and late wake up After i wake up , i numb myself with social media, no no i dont need breakfast nor shower just this mobile phone will do Then it start bored me, next things i remberred is i wake up regreted after relapse...
@hydrothunder I'm sorry to say that I've lost the battle. I did MO and watch P-subs. Thanks for this duel. I've never reached 50 days clean before and I'm happy about it. Looking forward to pass 50 days.
Well what is the point of matching against you You’re way above this. Why even keep a random count? For me it’s day 16, but for you xyz
Because it's less about the streak and more about the encouragement that comes with having someone to check in with everyday, to celebrate victories big or small
