The feeling of falling back into this addiction

About a week ago I made a post on how P/M addiction effectively distorted my sexual preferences and made me develop an "exhibition" fetish at the age of 16. After I made that post I managed to go onto a 6 days no PMO streak, which, by my standards, was actually the longest in a long time. But as always my brain had to find excuses to stop this progress and go back to those habits, so I started doing some researches and found some people giving the advice to not attempt PMO if you are a beginner, but start with just no P. It was day 6 and obviously my brain took this as an excuse to break the streak. "You're not going to relapse to P, so it's fine" that's what I convinced myself of. Yesterday, when I broke my streak, I started with light soft-sexual content, today I literally got back to who I was before my 6 days streak. All the progress, gone. I relapsed to the same stuff I used to and did the same twisted things that would turn me on in order to feed that dopamine request that my brain had been missing for almost a week, which I did because of those excuses of which I talked about a moment ago. I don't even feel as I used to after I relapsed, regretful, I geniunely feel sad, alone. Without control or any strength of will. Those feelings I had during the last streak seem distant and unreachable. Like that was luck, I only had a taste of self control but I am eventually doomed to this shit.