The feeling that watching porn gives me....

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by hk5050, Apr 19, 2014.

  1. hk5050

    hk5050 Fapstronaut

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    It's so, disappointing. Gave in a little to my sexual urges today, whipped open my favourite porn sites to watch my favourite fetish and I was sooooo excited. I watched for a little while, like 5 minutes, but I did not edge, not once, I DONT edge, not anymore (one of my very serious rules). What I felt was weird though, it was extremely underwhelming. Completely aware of the Coolidge effect, I knew that I would gain more interest if I switched to something different, something new. But you know what guys? I closed my laptop screen, pretty much slammed it down and refused to continue this bullshit. I'm not willing to give up what I have gained from not fapping for little satisfaction. Fuck that.
    Full of anger, I got up, put on my running shorts and singlet and just ran out of the house, not thinking twice. And I ran, as fast as I could, heart beating like crazy, my asthma coming on, feeling wheezy, but I just continued to push harder and harder.
    I got home, covered in sweat and awesomeness, had the best cold shower and felt sooo good. My sexual urges were basically smashed and my nofap streak untouched. And thought, what had started as a losing battle ended with me coming out winning.
    Thanks for playing ;)
     
  2. NotAfraid

    NotAfraid Fapstronaut

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    You probably satisfied your desire to watch porn, so you're still fucked. NoFap without not using porn is just waste of time.
     
  3. Soul Cage

    Soul Cage Fapstronaut

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    I think this is a really positive post, clearly you just strengthened your resolve there, ok maybe you slipped a little, watched a bit of porn, but you didn't 'go downstairs', you got up and did something drastic about it. What's more you have learnt something about yourself. So good on you man, this is a success story not a failure. Thanks for sharing it.
     
  4. Js5

    Js5 Fapstronaut

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    I have just started this commitment to try and get PMO out of my life (or to make it a rare thing) and I'm not so sure the number of the streak matters. What matters is the overall picture of trying to improve and entering into a new version of yourself. So, good for you on turning away from the porn you were looking at and finding an avenue to put that energy into. Best of luck.
     
  5. Clive

    Clive Fapstronaut

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    I'm with you, Js5. Sometimes I think the black/white approach can be more harmful than helpful. (I suppose that may depend on personality…) At any rate, if we become so consumed with being "perfect" in our streak and then slip a little (like you), the tendency can be to despair and give up/give in to a full blown relapse. I've done that far too many times to count!

    If, on the other hand, when you slip up you recognize your error, and you back off of the cliff before taking the plunge (like you), you've saved yourself from the hard fall. Is that better than avoiding it entirely? Of course not. But, as you do what you did you will identify that you have the power to choose your destiny anywhere along the way. Granted, it's much harder to choose to not relapse if you are headed down the rabbit hole. But you can still turn away after making a mistake without falling hard.

    Now, be careful for a chaser and recommit yourself to not looking at anything in the first place next go round. Then you can really gain some strength from this experience.

    Good luck, man!
     
  6. Alexander_D

    Alexander_D Fapstronaut

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    Good news! He almost went down that familiar road of nothingness but instead found the courage to choose the narrow path that leads to life.
    By dying to those urges we rise to "awesomeness"
    Happy Easter everyone!
     
  7. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Good for you hk! You revisited your old demons and found them weak, wimpering and crushed before your resolve!
     
  8. ChangeAndSuccess

    ChangeAndSuccess Fapstronaut

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    Well done man, I to feel bad when I slip but its about getting back up and resolving it.
     

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