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Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Targaryenn, May 15, 2019.
The first 30 days of no pmo were the hardest?
It depends, on my longest streaks were plenty of good days and bad days as well. For me, there is no such rule.
@GaryMayor thank you for answear.
I noticed that urges, in my case is very big in week-ends. Very, very big urges. You have some tips for me please? How can I beat urges? What can I do when urges are so big?
Have a good day, my friend!
I've written down how I feel after PMO, you can find this post in my journal, available at the signature. It is good to read it when urge comes to make yourself know that PMO will give you not pleasure, but feeling of emptiness. I think you should be more organized at weekends, try to plan something ahead.
It seems like the 7-14 period is the toughest for me. The mind starts telling me things like "You've held out for a week now, one relapse won't do any harm", "If you relapse just once, you can easily do another 7 days and then go further next time" and "You've done a week, nothing's changed so you might as well relapse". It's long enough for the porn images in my head to distort sufficiently so that they seem 'succulent'. I'm in this difficult zone now. It's the beginning of the 'death zone'.
What you mean by 'death zone'?
It's a term used in mountain climbing; a zone at high altitude where there is not enough oxygen to breathe. I'm comparing this to the period of time (7 days+) where I feel I am most prone to relapse, for the reasons I described in my previous post.
I do have similar thoughts telling me things like "it's normal" and "it's just exploring your sexuality". What I do is develop some mantras and phrases to remind me that I have a larger goal, and that is complete abstinence.
Things like "is throwing your life away really worth it?" "You've came this far, don't turn back." and "You don't want to fall ill again." have helped me avoid P/M/O/F, BEFORE it even happens.
Try to help find a way to talk yourself out of PMO/fantasies. It has to be something that works with you, and you must train it, so that it becomes an easy way to tell yourself a simple "no," without hesitation.