The Glorious Cold Approach Competition of 2016! (Triggers and Harsh Language)

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Mr. Sir, Dec 29, 2015.

  1. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

    Unlike my previous posts, the following is unfiltered. If you cannot handle the hard slap of reality against your fragile ego, click away now.

    I see this sub forum and it makes me sick! Look at yourselves. You are a bunch of losers going on about how lonely and uneventful your lives are; yet, I see next to no action to change. You love wallowing in your misery and self pity. My goal with this thread is to put a stake in the heart of this leaching sub forum and create a global movement of men and women who take their lives into their own hands, go out into the world, and have fun, engaging, interesting lives! If you are scared and you do not want to change, get out of this thread now...

    Instead of sitting around and waiting for something to happen, you are going to make things happen. First, we have to break your fragile ego and rebuild you. Why are you here? Why are you on this forum? Because you are a porn addict? No, because you are a little sex crazed maniac who never learned how to talk to the opposite sex so you masturbated ten times a day. Now you think that was a bad life move and you'd like to change. Cool. I was there too. But you're still a little sex crazed maniac aren't you?

    Listen, I have done a lot of drugs in my life. I've drank, I've smoked weed, I've eaten heroic (look it up) doses of shrooms, I've done acid, I've done ecstasy - heck, I was a modestly successful drug dealer! That was in my past life, when I had no will power and I coped. You know what feels better than all of those drugs? Approaching a beautiful woman, establishing a great sexual vibe, and enjoying the present with her. It trumps all of it! Especially when you've got over a month of hard mode under your belt!

    See, you are all taking the wrong approach. You want to be un-lonely? Then this is what we're going to do. We're going to tell the world to fuck off and we're going to cold approach the opposite sex on a massive scale! Face the truth. You don't want some lame guy friend. You don't want to wind up in an accidental relationship. You don't want to have to settle for a fat, passive woman or a beta male boyfriend with jealousy issues. Guys (males), you want to meet beautiful women, have a plethora of awesome female friends, and have an abundance of great sexual energy in your life. No, I am in your head! I can read your mind! You find this appealing but your inner beta male, your inner cuck, your inner chode wants you to recant! "No more! No! It's impossible! I can't go out by myself and talk to girls! I'll melt! I must be alone, miserable, and watch porn and touch myself... yes, it's easy!" - says your inner chode. You're going to cleanse your inner chode with the fire of awkward, relentless, forced social integration.

    So this is what we're going to do. We are going to have a glorious competition. We are going see who can complete the most cold approaches in 2016!!!

    The Rules:
    1. The approach must be in person.
    2. The approached must respond with at least one word.
    3. The approached must be of the gender you find sexually desirable.
    • Straight men must approach women
    • Straight women must approach men
    • Gay men must approach men
    • Gay women must approach women
    • If you are bisexual, you must go with the gender you find more desirable or experience the greatest disconnection with/sexual tension (this part is really up to you - just be honest with us and yourself)
    4. Once you have joined the competition you must commit for the entire year.
    • Your only exit is if you decide to enter a monogamous relationship
    5. You must return to this thread at least once a month and update us on your count.
    • I suggest you keep a link to this thread in your signature along with your approach count
    6. You may enter the competition at any point in 2016 but get in here sooner rather than later because I'm going to be cold approaching like a madman!
    7. You must always remember that no matter what happens, there is a constructive way to deal with a situation and never ever quit!

    So this is a competition. What's the prize? It's going to be you finally overcoming your social anxiety. The prize is going to be you finally loosing your virginity. The prize is going to be that you get over your ex and you find a partner ten times better than they were. The prize will be finding awesome friends and are outgoing. The prize is going to be finally realizing there is no such thing as introverts and that you can express yourself and who you are is good enough!

    If you want to post a response that is not a constructive contribution to this thread, make your own thread about it. I don't want this thread to get bogged down with a bunch of people trying to keep you guys in your safe, anti-social boxes.


    Feel free to message me to maintain accountability as well! Peace!

    Edit. Edit.

    I made a separate thread for Cold Approach Advice. Check it out. Feel free to contribute thanks!
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2015
  2. Verhart

    Verhart Fapstronaut

    I think that the progress should be updated weekly. A year is such a long perioid of time that even thinking about it is unmotivating.

    Split the competition into smaller chunks and the competition will be much more fierce.
    noonoon, BrainPlasticity and XPiRED like this.
  3. Finalfight123

    Finalfight123 Fapstronaut

    Cold approaching its funny becomes easier without a doubt but its a numbers game. I went around thinking that 1 or 2 girls a week was enough but to truly get numbers like 5-7 is what you want. The hardest part is finding areas that girls you like go to but if you can find that and you are bold enough its not to hard.

    And like half of all people you approach won't be interested but thats life but if it goes good you have to be fast people forget quite fast despite bold moves. Good luck
    a2m1r0 likes this.
  4. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    Fuck it. Even though I'm scared as fuck to approach girls, I'll just join in.

    The biggest problem. Where do I find the girls I like??

    I just want to be able to approach girls I find beautiful.
    XPiRED likes this.
  5. Finalfight123

    Finalfight123 Fapstronaut


    Alright daytime is the best time in my opinion because at night you might drink or it might be dark and you can't see so daytime is best.

    Since your not 18 you do have to be careful of hitting on girls who are underage an easy way to figure it is asking its fine really.

    Malls are big, coffee shops, grocery stores, school(but keep approaching to a minimum) outlet stores. It can be tricky, public transportation is another places you eat out hangout areas. really anywhere as long as it seems like she's not in a huge rush because then its harder to get your personality across to her. Actually I walked up to a girl yesterday in a hotel lobby, she had a bf but we talked for a few minutes. Thats a big objection to being bold but it fast forwards her response you can talk for half an hour and find out at the end or right away. But the half an hour does decrease the objection. Nice work on your streak
  6. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the tips.

    Don't worry. I'm not really attracted to girls under 18 anyway. I'd prefer to have a girl around my age. That's probably what I'll focus on.

    What I want to focus on is just chatting a little bit with girls. I don't want to go with the mindset that I have to get her as my gf, but just to have a nice conversation. I think this takes away some of the nervousnes. It's probably better to make friends first.
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2015
    ExileSlash, Finalfight123 and XPiRED like this.
  7. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

    The reason why I'm going with a year is because I believe it takes an entire year for real personal development to fully manifest. I'm sure that as this thread gains momentum the competition will build up. Let's sit back and see what happens.

    I'm really glad this thread has gotten such positive acceptance. I made a separate Advice Thread where you can ask questions or post advice. Go ahead and post your goals. How many people do you plan on approaching next year? I did the math and I ought to come up around 2,000 approaches. Don't sell yourself short. I did the math. If I approach 5 women a day at college I'll hit over 300 a semester. Two semesters is over 600. I have four clubs on rotation that I'll go out to twice a week on Friday and Saturday. If I do 15-20 approaches at those locations that will total to over 1500. So 2,000 is actually very reasonable.

    Think about it this way. If you want to bench press 300lbs... doing 5-7 reps a week isn't going to cut it, is it?
  8. silverlukas

    silverlukas Fapstronaut

    I'm going to commit to at least one cold approach per day. Minimum one.
    skylar_legit and XPiRED like this.
  9. the_grindel

    the_grindel Fapstronaut

  10. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    @Mr. Sir what were your basic social skills like when you started out?
  11. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    I'm in! It's like this thread/competition was made for me. It sums up everything that I want to change in my life, and what better time than with the start of a new year.
    skylar_legit likes this.
  12. cuddler

    cuddler Fapstronaut

    THIS is the only thing that I want to do! Everyone on this sub-forum was telling me some BS philosophies why it is better to be alone, without realizing that the problem is in not being able to talk to girls.
    I will start nofap also today, but it will be secondary. YesApproach will be my number 1 priority. Also I will take care of my looks..
    If I don't find the will within myself to overcome shyness I will buy some PUA bootcamp, I don't know.. but I will try to find ways.
    My realistic dream that I believe I could achieve is approaching at least one girl a day for at least one month this year. Although I'm afraid it won't be january nor february.
    So far I did a few warm approaches and maybe 1 or 2 cold approaches without getting a response.
    But don't think that I can't win this competition by December 2016!
  13. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

    @cuddler This competition isn't against us. It's not you vs. me. It's you against yourself. Beat your ego, recreate your identity. We're all on the same side, fighting our old selves.

    @volt2187 Glad to have you here!

    @the_grindel How many approaches do you plan on doing?

    @himmelstoss Check out the thread I made called The Cold Approach Advice Thread. There is a lot of good stuff there and I'm going to keep it updated. To answer your question, I have always had friends. I have not been the most sociable though.

    Approaching has always been hard at first for me but it gets easier when I build micro momentum.
    Depending on the person, I can hold a conversation for a while.
    I don't have the quickest wit - I'm working on that.
  14. never_again

    never_again Fapstronaut

    Shit ! This is exactly what I've been waiting for ! Im new to cild approaching and get really anxious while doing it and well, fail most of the times but screw it , ITS ON ! let's do this
  15. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    Hmm I had thought I'd wait until I completed 6 months of celibacy to start getting into dating. But it doesn't feel right ignoring the development of my social skills until then. Alright I'm in.
    @Mr. Sir how about we submit a report weekly instead of monthly? This would make the competition and engagement fresh.
  16. cuddler

    cuddler Fapstronaut

    No. I will have more approaches than you. hahahaa
  17. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    I'm scared, but I'm in
    cuddler likes this.
  18. cuddler

    cuddler Fapstronaut

    Is there a clear distinction between a cold and a warm approach? I was traveling and I looked beside me, a girl sitting behind me smiled on me a little, then I looked back. After a while I turned back again and asked her something. Was it warm, because she first smiled at me, therefore, she was the first iniciating it?
    Also I talked with a girl who lives in the same building, I always said to her only hi, and now I talked with her, that is also some improvement, but it is warm right?
    Those cold approaches when she doesn't even look at you are really scary :eek: I did it once in my life a long ago, it was very quiet and I didn't got a response. Maybe she didn't even hear it :D
  19. never_again

    never_again Fapstronaut

    Got 2 done yesterday ! Its probably the first time I've ever done it and seriously approach anxiety was killing me . well there was this dance performance in college where we needed to get partners . After loads of delaying , finally asked out 2 girls , they didn't agree but still feels great that I finally had the guts to atleast do it , no regrets .
  20. This thread reminds me of an experience I had a couple months ago... I suppose you could say a guy "cold approached" me? lol I've never heard that phrase before, but I'll run with it.

    At first I was a bit thinking, "Oh, gosh, what does this guy want," partially because I was kind of busy writing/had earphones in that I had to take out, so I didn't hear what he said at first. Also I'm a little cautious about people talking to me when I have my laptop, because I'm hyper paranoid of it being stolen (I can buy a new laptop, but if I haven't backed up my files yet that could be really terrible, as I often spend hours writing before I back stuff up).

    Anyway, just to give some encouragement to all you gents here... despite my initial reaction of being a little bit weirded out/cautious, it was a nice conversation, and I look back on that with a smile, thinking, "Aw, that guy was so nice." He didn't ask me out or for my number or anything (may have taken note of my wedding ring or perhaps just chickened out or decided he wasn't interested anymore), but overall it was not an unpleasant experience. lol

    So keep that courage up, boys! We women are not as scary as we may seem. And in the end, who really gives a crap what we think of you anyway, right? Just be you and keep having these little great moments of courage, stepping out of your comfort zone and growing and building up your confidence. I love what @never_again just posted... confidence shouldn't rest on the foundation of women's approval, but on the foundation of your own actions and courage and pride (healthy level of pride, of course) in your accomplishments.

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