The Glorious Cold Approach Competition of 2016! (Triggers and Harsh Language)

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Mr. Sir, Dec 29, 2015.

  1. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

    404
    267
    63
    Well done on getting your area mapped out!

    Today I learnt the importance of escalate, escalate, escalate and being relaxed about rejection.

    Went on a date with a girl. She was somewhat interested and somewhat distant. At one point I thought 'fuck it!' and asked her how she would react if I tried to kiss her. She basically said she wasnt intersted.

    Then I acted completely unphased, said 'no worries!' and just continued talking to her as I was before. The energy completely changed. She was suddenly interested and has been sending flirty texts since we separated.

    Escalate, escalate, escalate and be relaxed about rejection
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2016
    BrainPlasticity likes this.
  2. Billy3eyes

    Billy3eyes Fapstronaut

    16
    12
    3
    Hey man, excellent plan, I'm in. Having a competition sort of separates the anxiety away from the situation at hand for me. I mean to say that a big reason why I don't approach anymore is that deep down, I coldly just wanna bang the girl, and I know this, so she probably knows this, and it makes me feel a bit awkward haha. Having an ulterior motive for cold approaching kind of lightens the load some, makes it more of, a .....bah, what's it called? oh!

    A Game.

    Haha cheers brother, this was my first curious visit to the loneliness sub and I'm sure glad I found this first. I'll see you on the flip side, brother, and with 100 more cold approaches too.

    Here's to 2016!
     
    Temujin likes this.
  3. Billy3eyes

    Billy3eyes Fapstronaut

    16
    12
    3
    Ah yeah and that being said how do you set up a counter?
     
    Temujin likes this.
  4. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,739
    2,911
    143
    Interesting, but I wouldn't 'verbalize' the kiss. When the time feels right, eye contact, closeness, eyes look at lips, lean in. You should get the kiss.
     
    Temujin likes this.
  5. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

    122
    105
    43
    Bring your mouse over your username in the top right corner, a box will show up, click on signature. Make a counter called "cold approaches" and update it as you have more approaches. Speaking of which, I need to update mine...

    Welcome to the competition! I hope that helps!
     
    Billy3eyes and Temujin like this.
  6. JD123123

    JD123123 Fapstronaut

    120
    66
    28
    I will always identify as an INTJ, but count me in.
     
    Temujin likes this.
  7. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

    404
    267
    63
    It wasn't the smoothest I have to admit. Was getting close to the end of the date. I was hugely hungover and only slept four hours. She wants to meet up again through so that's good. Be able to practice creating sexual tension
     
  8. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

    404
    267
    63
    I think girls are smart about why you are cold approaching. I've only received three negative reactions. Two where blanks who just ignored me and one girl said to me angrily 'why are you talking to me?'. The rest have been neutral or incredibly positive. It also seems to be unrelated to how attractive the girl is. But you can often instantly get a sense between the girls who are being polite and those who are like 'please keep talking to me this is awesome'. Meeting one of those is such a confidence booster. Walking away with a huge smile on your face and the sun seemingly shining brighter.
     
    BrainPlasticity and Mr. Sir like this.
  9. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

    404
    267
    63
    How is everyone doing with the challenge?
     
  10. never_again

    never_again Fapstronaut

    30
    27
    18
    I'm kinda improving i guess, i mean I am a little less afraid now, and i can at least say completely idiotic stuff to girls now . like this other day , one of those days that you haven't slept and dont feel like doing anything, im in the library and there's girl infront of me. Now i have no clue what to say her , my mind is just frozen but well had to say something, so i say " hey, can you wake me up in like half an hour ?" and i doze off right there.. Shit i have to learn how to talk well. Thinking back i probably could've talked to her after she had woken me, but had run to a class. So anyway , still not that good that i can approach a random girl but i'm getting there slowly , i think . I don't know whether this counts or not , but anyway was better than saying nothing
     
    Temujin likes this.
  11. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,739
    2,911
    143
    Warm appraoch

    So am in the café checking Nofap, when I notice a girl noticing me. She is ordering a coffee. I continue to glance, and catch her eye. I smile and she answers with a shy smile. I find her attractive because even though she is not that 'hot', she is confident and friendly. She sits with a friend, and we exchange a couple more glances. I re-seat myself to a chair behind her, turn around, and ask where the nearest book shop is. At this point we both know this is just a pre-text to open conversation. Warm smiles, and talking about stuff - where are you from, where working etc. Her friend was now back off the phone, so I let her go.... not before giving her my card.

    So always be looking for these signs of interest. It is much easier to act on them, than going in cold. Good luck people~~

    Edit.
    When leaving I look around to wave goodbye, and she was already waitng with those big beautiful bambi eyes. She showed me a selfie she and her friend took with me in the background. I'll be surprised if I don't hear from her.

    So anyway, I am a short greying 40 something. If this can happen to me, imagine what you young fellows can achieve! These woman really just want to meet a man. Considering how hopeless most men are, you only have to be slightly above average to do reasonably well. And I'm not talking looks here. Get clean, put yourself out there, approach, and you'll be surprised!
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2016
  12. cud

    cud Fapstronaut

    335
    298
    63
    Awesome.

    I have started with this approach as well. And to be honest it feels good. Ussually I behave to random people as I am their friend already and.. it works. Life is good :)
     
  13. Billy3eyes

    Billy3eyes Fapstronaut

    16
    12
    3
    Thanks boss!
     
  14. Billy3eyes

    Billy3eyes Fapstronaut

    16
    12
    3
    Truthfully I'm not sure I've done a single cold approach since I've started, I've been approached several times and I've gotten two numbers in two weeks (only went out in to those socials situations last Saturday and last night, one per night really)

    I just hit day 13 and I've had some much on my mind as far as taking care of things that I've been really engaged with my own self and the friends around me. Certainly I don't feel that I'm lacking by not cold approaching but as it IS a competition I'll try to do better to keep it closer to my consciousness when I'm out and about.

    Keep it easy my bretheren
     
  15. Baroque

    Baroque Fapstronaut

    138
    108
    43
    I haven't approached a woman cold or otherwise, in the longest time. I'll post an update when I've grown a pair.
     
  16. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    I did a "chilly" (lol) approach yesterday to girl I've had some small talk in class, when I saw her randomly on campus. She was super happy to talk with me. But then I fucked up and when in class failed to even say a single word to her (when I told myself earlier I was going to ask her out). The feeling of emptyness was deep and I'm confident I could have got her number.

    Don't overthink it guys, just approach them! Do you want to be alone or are you ready to man up and change your life? I know I sure as hell am ready!
     
    never_again and Temujin like this.
  17. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    2,739
    2,911
    143
    More often than not we reject ourselves. Thus the importance of confidence. You just need to hang in there; persist without being a pest. The girl thinks 'oh, he thinks he is good enough for me.... maybe he is'.
     
    BrainPlasticity, Temujin and volt2187 like this.
  18. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

    404
    267
    63
    Definitely. Persist and escalate. Approach, approach, approach. Escalate, escalate, escalate. The most important thing I've realised is just take action! How the action is taken is secondary. Just do something. Even if your opener is terrible and escalation super awkard just do something!

    Been practicing escalating over text. Kinda in an emotional hole. Really early on I hanged out with this girl who was on holiday. We got on really well. She was stunning inside and out. Never had a girl like that like me before. Sadly she is now miles away and we are only in contact via text.

    It blows my mind to have a girl like her interested. But at the same time it hurts that she is so far away.

    Still keep on approaching! Maybe I'll meet another girl who blows my reality wide open.
     
    BrainPlasticity and JesusGreen like this.
  19. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    484
    542
    93
    This was something I've been pondering for a while. Will having sex have the same effect as PMOing. Does having sex have any benefit in terms of making us an attractive man? Do you think if you had sex without ejacualting, you would maintian your power?

    Btw I'm very happy that you're back. I carried the flag for you when you were gone :)
     
  20. Relaxation

    Relaxation Fapstronaut

    8
    9
    3
    So ive been reading this thread. While im not fully down for the competition yet, i did approach for the first time ever.

    I was sitting outside having a smoke and a girl was handing out brochures. I was thinking about it for 5 minutes 'well my attention is focused on her, id feel way better asking something then feeling another regret!" "Why does no one talk to each other, maybe this could brighten her day?". So as i was leaving i asked her whether all the rejection from the public bothered her. She said no and i asked how long does she work and how often. She said just 2 hours, casual. I said ok just wondering, gave somewhat of a goofy grin and walked off. I then told her partner handing brochures i got 1 from her friend, maintained eye contact until she looked away.

    However you got to do it the first time, do it. I had just finished the gym, she was working, wasn't super attracted so i went for it. Baby steps, remember why your doing all this and keep at it. I will post here in future, maybe even join the comp, and thank you for this thread.
     
    Temujin likes this.

Share This Page