The high standard

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by GRAHAMDONDIE, Nov 8, 2014.

  1. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Speaking about girls, everyone has a standard. Some will accept a B, some will only accept an A, some can try a C sometimes. But porn twists the standards, it makes us to only wish for an A+, for the imposible, for the perfect ass that will do anything, that will accept anything. And we know, we know that it's a fake reality, that most of the pretty and descent girls will never get to the level of porn girls (in terms of sexual intensity), some may do, but if they don't, it won't be because of them, but because we got to have a higher standard each time we watched porn, a standard far from the real deal, difficult to satisfy, a standard that makes us fall into a vortex of lies. Lies we make to ourselves.
    My standard has been twisted, I forgot to like the real deal.
    How about yours?
     
  2. tombrooks

    tombrooks Fapstronaut

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    I think the problem for me was that porn warped my view of women but in the opposite way. The minute I stepped out the door I would want to have sex with literally every woman I saw. Porn makes me think that sex is all women are good for and that is a really shitty view to have, big reason I want to quit forever
     
  3. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Interesting, I thought about your side too, would be nice to know from the others how porn has warped their way of seeing/wanting women. Wanting almost perfect porno type girls, or any kind of girl
     
  4. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

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    I've noticed that since starting NoFap I've begun to think of woman differently. Instead of having sexual thoughts about them I have more random thoughts now that have nothing to do with sex. I imagine how they'd fit in to my life in general.
     
  5. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    right a vortex of lies build up in many years.

    sadly lost the connection to reality.
     
  6. w-san

    w-san Fapstronaut

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    I've never been with a girl and would never have known that. Thanks for sharing that. That's another thing I need to unlearn from porn.

    Man, we really need to reconnect to reality.
     
  7. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    I've noticed that I have incredibly high standards. Most of all, I value a pretty face which is why I think I'm strange.

    As all my pals talk about women with banging bodies. To me I don't get this, it's all about the face which is probably why I'm obsessed with oral sex, but then I thought most guys fast forward to the 'money shot.'

    Porn has definitely warped my expectations, but I'm thinking if I don't fancy a girl why would I even bother entertaining the idea of a relationship. Perhaps this is where I'm going wrong.

    After abstinence I've noticed changes though. There's this girl I work with and she isn't great looking, but just everything about her now, sends me to cloud cuckoo land. I guess this is unhealthy because she is perhaps the only girl in my life I see on a more than constant basis and I've probably become infatuated by her. I've had so many fantasies about her in my head and it is this exact behaviour that has caused me great grief and heartache in my past - it also doesn't help that she's taken.

    I know relationships are based on appreciation and value of women and their 'personalities.' This is the first girl in a while where her personality has me attracted to the max and not based on looks. In some respect it is one step in the right direction, in other respect it is unhealthy because of my fantasy with her.

    Hopefully, as I abstain longer, I won't ever objectify women in this again as it never leads to relationships, just fantasy and lust. A fantasy that I know most women/girls can never be.

    Porn helps us objectify women, and this is bad.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2014
  8. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Well from the actual perspective, we still know that it is better to have a fantasy with someone important than someone you barely know. The problem here is that porn creates a need, and this need means we tend to forget that we actually need a true relationship to fulfill both sex and more important, friendship and love in any of its means, by love I don't mean you have to be crazy about someone but to feel that "something"
     
  9. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    I really don't know. Is it better to have a fantasy about someone we know rather than someone we don't.
    I think any fantasy is bad, probably worse when it is a girl who you work with, who is already taken, and I'm just thinking about doing 'all crazy things to her' even though she is taken.

    At this moment- I really can't say. I mean there is this OTHER girl, at the moment who is 150% interested in me, but she's fat and not that great looking at all. But I'd rather do fuck all about it , half of my brain is telling me wait until you've reached your 60 day goal then you can have a great porn binge.

    The other half is telling me, get on the relationship ladder. OK she's not someone you would want to be caught out with but, hey this might actually be a good learning experience.

    Porn has got me so fucked up I can't even begin to entertain the idea of dating her! Maybe after 90 days I sincerely hope something changes in my mindset.
     
  10. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Well I think even in a world without porn we would still have fantasies, the thing is not to give that fantasies more power than they should have. You could have a fantasy and think about it for a moment and then say "ok it was enough now back to work". Of course if she is taken is better to avoid having those fantasies, but at least she is not a strange, you could still have some opportunity some day so you could control your thoughts and maintain a healthy relationship without closing the door to any of the opportunities.
     

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