The idea of abstinence till marriage makes me feel like I can't defeat PMO. Does anyone feel same?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Inchristidefeatthis, Jun 11, 2020.

  1. Inchristidefeatthis

    Inchristidefeatthis Fapstronaut

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    Does anyone feel like (especially early 20s) your choice of remaining without sex till marriage makes the thought of not PMOing ever again almost impossible? Like the idea that you wouldn't have an orgasm till marriage makes you feel like you can't defeat this addiction.

    I always imagined I would get married in my late 20s or 30, 31 and the idea of not having an orgasm or sex before then cos of religious and personal reasons makes not masturbating between that time seem impossible and then it feeds into the relapse

    Any ideas on this?
     
  2. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    same here, but u can do it without porn and it shouldnt be in excess (which currently i struggle with PMO)
     
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  3. Likewise I believe that sex is reserved for marriage, but I don't believe that makes abstaining from PMO "almost impossible". Difficult? Yeah, but it's what we're called to do so we're not without recourse to Him. If you're a believer you will not willfully use PMO, but we slip up sometimes because of our weaknesses.

    As far as ideas, stop degrading marriage as an outlet for your sexual urges. I say this as much to you as to myself, being only 23. I think ideally it shouldn't factor into our decision to get married at all.
     
  4. Abstinence from orgasm until marriage - let's take a look at this, shall we? It means no 3 second pleasures until after a point of time from which you can have healthy and natural sexual intercourse with a partner. What's so 'impossible' in this? If you have a mentality that says "oH fAppInG iS sUch A joY, iT giVeS enjoYmenT to mY lifE, oOhhhHh, how wiLl I liVe witHouT It?", Then you're going nowhere. It's as simple as this - orgasm with your hands is disgusting and satanic and comes with shitload of bad effects, while orgasm done naturally with a partner is healthy, positive and brings babies.

    Edit: I agree with Johnthesavage. Marriage should not be degraded down to an outlet for your sexual urges. Marriage consists of love and synergy.
     
  5. JasonMamoa

    JasonMamoa Fapstronaut

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    I practice abstinence too due to religious reasons. You have to understand it is not the big of a deal. People practice this all the time. Currently you and I are facing an addiction. And our mind would make up anything so that we go back to our old habits. If you think this abstinence is making you relapse, then what about majority of people here who do have opportunity to get laid yet they still are addicted? If sex was the solution, everyone here would have been cured by now.

    Most of us are medicating some kind of pain with PMO. Find the root cause. Deal with it. Develop good habits. Make your self resourceful and competent. And maybe within two to three years you will get married. Think positively. Pray to the God for whom you are practicing this.
     
  6. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    sure lets see u do no PMO till before marriage, easier said than done, you are still 13 as shown on your profile so you're a far lot behind marriage. its good that u are against PMO but the way u are ridiculing us for having an addiction is very rude and quite frankly idiotic, just because it is not hard for u doesnt mean it will be easy for everyone. God created everyone with different traits.

    Same thing with any other addiction, personally i am against drugs and alcohol and i personally havent had any addiction to it so for me it is easy to say "lol just dont drink it, u can drink other stuff, its not impossible" yet for someone else it will be impossible not to drink for years. this doesnt mean we cant help each others out by making sure we will at least heavily reduce it.

    saying "dont marry for sex" and "dont do any PMO forever because sex/orgasms is for marriage" are correlative even if u dont agree. If u keep orgasms strictly for marriage then theres people who will marry to have orgasms.
     
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  7. clearmindd

    clearmindd Fapstronaut

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    i think yea but u can release all ur sexual energy in different ways like : sports..studying and activities like that
    and if ur body got its full amount of semen stored in ur body
    ur body will get a wet dream to release it in a wet dream

    its gift from god

    but u have to avoid fapping or porn for at least couple of months and then make ur most efforts to fight mastrbuation if u couldnt just fap without porn


    fell free to correct me if im wrong
     
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  8. gui.nascimento508

    gui.nascimento508 New Fapstronaut

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    I've been thinking about it too. But I agree with clearmindd when he says you can use this energy on relevant areas of your life. Chastity would probably offer you opportunities to follow your dreams and big goals. This will provide the best for you, and for your partner
     
    clearmindd likes this.
  9. Ok.
     
  10. Inchristidefeatthis

    Inchristidefeatthis Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much. This is comforting. I would be pushing on to the glory of God and I pray he helps me defeat this addiction such that my brain doesn't use such thoughts to justify a relapse
     
  11. Inchristidefeatthis

    Inchristidefeatthis Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot. I agree. Masturbation is really satanic, but the addiction has made my brain come up with such rationalizations like ''you are just 24, can you cope for 6,7 years without an orgasm or sex? you have to PMO".

    I think such rationalizations are satanic too but I need strength from God to defeat this addiction so it'd be more normal for me to be chaste till marriage and not think too much about it. I was normal before I got addicted so I think I can go back to that mindset. Gonna be difficult but I hope I can through the help of God and also redirect that energy towards bettering my life and career
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  12. Thank you for understanding my message. I believe in you! One tip I can give you is to stay busy, your mind will start focusing on the activity that you are doing and will stop thinking about fapping.
     
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  13. fishfoody

    fishfoody Fapstronaut

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    Keeping your semen inside for a long time can make your life a lot better! Trust me. No more depression, you see women as human not objects, you will have great immunity. You will have so many great ideas. And many more benefits. Don't think about marriage yet. Think about how we can reboot our brains first.

    Avoid porn substitute and don't fantasize. Take care of your self
     
    Inchristidefeatthis likes this.
  14. Abstinence until marriage is the very reason I'm doing this. It helps that I'm dating someone that shares my beliefs, is supportive, and has dealt with this addiction in the past.
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  15. Inchristidefeatthis

    Inchristidefeatthis Fapstronaut

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    Are you also a virgin? Yes, I am also doing this to honor Jesus. My brain keeps asking me whether i can stay that long for 6 or 7 years (I'm 24) without sex or orgasm seeming it unrealistic but I think that's my addiction speaking and I wouldn't fulfill it in Jesus' name. I surrender all to him and trust that he is able to rid me of this addiction and set me free from my bondage. I also pray to meet a very nice God fearing lady
     
  16. I'm not a virgin, no. But I've gone years without having sex. Nothing is unrealistic with Jesus. It's the temptation speaking. Having said that ... if you have uncontrollable urges, the bible suggests we marry so that me may quell those urges the correct way with your spouse in a bed undefiled. All sex outside of marriage is a grave sin because it is a sin that is directly against the body ... and God dwells within our bodies. It is a particularly nasty sin that should be taken seriously. But God forgives all. Just keep the faith. God finally brought me a God-fearing lady and it's been nothing short of life-changing and amazing.
     
  17. EmmyB

    EmmyB Fapstronaut

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    You should think of masturbation as the same thing as premarital intercourse, not some different or lesser sin. Don't touch yourself in a sexual way, or let anyone else do so, until you marry. And of you cannot control yourself, marry.
     
  18. I don't see what the big deal is. In the grand scheme of things the courting dating process until marriage might take like what "3-5 years" depending on the situation, that's not too long if you're able to look at it from an objective point of view, less than 10% of the average lifespan
     
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  19. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I was raised believing you save yourself till marriage. Well I got to 24, 28, 30 yrs old and not only was I not married yet but I hadn't even had a serious relationship and was bombing out with women time after time despite being told I was good looking and being in many situations where I could have approached good looking, put together women but I didnt.

    During that whole stretch of years I was also into pretty heavy PMO. I figured I'm not getting any in real life so I'll cope this way, not realizing that PMO was the REASON I wasn't connecting with women in real life. I had it exactly backwards. When they say PMO repels women, that is a real thing. I finally married and had sex for the first time at age 33 but brought a ton of baggage into it that has made it a lot less fulfilling for both of us than it should have been, and that I'm only now working through 20 years later.

    What I would say, as strongly as I can, is this. Have real-life sex, and a lot of it, while you're young. If your belief system only allows for sex within marriage, then get free of PMO as fast as you can and marry young. But to PMO through your prime years and believe (as I did) you're still virtuous because you're not sticking your dick in someone is the worst course you can take. That is the fast track to becoming the inauthentic, needy Nice Guy women despise and they will run away from you with everything they've got. You're just kidding yourself and putting patterns in place that you and your future wife will pay for, for years.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2020
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  20. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    No judgment assumed, and I totally agree. Just hoping my experiences can help younger ones avoid at least some of what I've gone through.
     
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