The intellect will always make logic about what the heart has already decided

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by frequency, Jun 14, 2020.

  1. frequency

    frequency Fapstronaut

    176
    154
    43
    You see before every pmo session there’s always contemplation about whether you should do this or not. And i realized that the moment you start contemplating whether you should pmo or not, you already relapsed. Mabye not immediately but the relapse is comming. Will it come tomorrow, in a week, a month or a year i don’t know but its near.
     
  2. sonic123rainbow

    sonic123rainbow Fapstronaut

    315
    575
    93
    So what do you advice doing?
     
  3. frequency

    frequency Fapstronaut

    176
    154
    43
    The answer is simple: stop contemplating. Now of course urges and thoughts will hit you but urges and thoughts are different from contemplation of giving in.
     
  4. Very interesting post Frequency. Strangely enough, when I find myself rationalising porn use, I always seem to think along the lines of porn being something that "everyone does", and how lots of "normal people" look at porn, etc. In doing this I lose sight of myself and of the fact that whatever effects porn use has on others, I have a compulsive problem with it. I would be interested to hear if others find themselves rationalising in a generic, self forgetting, way?
     
    Candun, frequency and leetspeak like this.
  5. leetspeak

    leetspeak Fapstronaut

    50
    456
    53
    I remember Jordan Peterson once said you should stop saying things that make you weak.

    I would say that contemplating porn use could be classified as one such thing.
     
    frequency likes this.
  6. frequency

    frequency Fapstronaut

    176
    154
    43
    Same
     
  7. frequency

    frequency Fapstronaut

    176
    154
    43
    Yeah i heard him.
     
  8. sonic123rainbow

    sonic123rainbow Fapstronaut

    315
    575
    93
    Did he sound weak(was he trolling) or did he sound strong?
    I mean you heard him you propably know.
     
  9. frequency

    frequency Fapstronaut

    176
    154
    43
    He started paying attention about what he was saying in his head and he noticed there were 2 parts, 1 who did the talking and one who judged them and mostly disagreed with them. He started practicing not saying things that made him weak and he realized he had to stop 95% of what he was saying. He then asked the question which one of these parts is him, is it 95% or 5%. So this means that his true self is that 5% and the 95% is just the ego. He got shocked to understand that all his life and his decisions were not made by his true self.
     
  10. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    True enough of course then that really shows the relationship between the parts, that they get to a point where they are separate but they can work together. We could also say the intellect has become hijacked, since obviously it doesn't think that way all the time. But is the heart really the one doing it, or does IT become hijacked even before the intellect does?
     
  11. frequency

    frequency Fapstronaut

    176
    154
    43
    There’s no hijacktion heart has it’s own brain my guy.
     
  12. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    For that to be true you would have to say porn has no influence on it at all. Maybe not 100% takeover but a strong influence is something most here would probably agree on.
     
  13. leetspeak

    leetspeak Fapstronaut

    50
    456
    53
    I'm not as intellectual as Jordan Peterson to immediately understand everything he says. So I have to ask:

    What on Earth does he mean by your 'true self'?
     
  14. frequency

    frequency Fapstronaut

    176
    154
    43
    You know there’s the soul(true self) and there’s ego(your body and mind)
     
  15. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

    134
    199
    43
    Our minds can't be reasonable, they are just a flawed organic creation, like our whole bodies. And they will chase what they consider necessary through ultimate manipulation. Listen to your immediate intuition, as you rationalize about PMO, it already told you simply: No. Don't mind your thoughts, because they are just you. Listen to your intuition, because that's not you, that's the voice of the universe.
     
  16. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

    497
    833
    93
    It's the other way around, you are "the voice of the universe" and your thoughts are not you. Your thoughts are an accumulation of impressions over time. Just like your body is an accumulation of food. So it can't be you because it comes from outside.
    However I prefer to call "me" not anything since I don't know who I am. So "me" suffices for the moment. :)

    What you are referring to are your emotions going ahead of your thoughts. Your thoughts make sense of your emotions. If you emotionally setup the desire to relapse, the back and forth of your mind won't matter.

    Nothing can be forced when it comes to our inner world. When you want to think of a monkey, you think of a monkey. When you don't want to think of a monkey, now you really think of a monkey. Same with porn. By wanting to avoid the desire and creating anxiety towards it you turn it into a strong sensation. Learn to relax, spread awareness and your compulsions will start to look silly. Because you see them for what they are: self created.
     
    leetspeak likes this.

Share This Page