I havent been taking this pmo shit seriously for past 2months and I have exams in 2 months from now so I am going to login everyday. DAY 0 Farmer,.....
Day 2 Farmer Have been really bad about posting on here, though I have been working on my recovery. I have been involved with the paid NoFap support program, and I have been involved with another Porn Recovery Group and I am making progress slowly but surely. My streaks are still only around 5-7 days, but they are consistently happening, so if I can get past that 5-7 period, and then past 15 days, I will be so much better off. It is just the first few days that I struggle with and then falling complacent when I get to around 3 weeks. I hope to get to 90+ days hard mode. Back in fall 2018, I made it 90 days no PMO, though I did MO every couple weeks or so. The goal is to get back to a place where I am avoiding P, P-subs, peeking, and MO. I have decided that every time I seek out visual stimuli whether I masturbate or just look, even for a couple minutes, I will reset. If I seek something out in a boneheaded moment, but stop before seeing anything, it will be a close call, but not a reset. If the medium loads then it is a reset, and if I see something based on some search not related to seeking out P or P-subs, then as long as I close out of it, it is not a reset. If I MO it is a reset, and obviously, if I PMO, it is a full relapse. If I look at P or P-subs for 10+ minutes, then that is a relapse as well, even without MO. I am going to be stricter with myself going forward, after having a conversation with an accountability partner and him saying that I was making excuses for why I was doing something unhealthy or why I was not to blame. I have to take responsibility, else I will never get clean. I have been feeling depressed lately, and stressed from school, and while I am not spiraling yet, I am not living my best life. I am not living a life in recovery. I am just slugging along, trying to stay afloat instead of flying. best, Mathman1994
