Day zeroooo......
Its been so 3 months and I have not crossed one month after that.It is just so depressing, I cannot even talk about my porn addiction to any one in my circle and this pandemic is making the recovery process so hard.
I ve been fooling myself thinking after a week without porn that I have control over it and have been relapsing to porn weekly or even less.Things are worst than ever I not able to complete my tasks like I did 2years ago.Some days after relapsing I am not even able to do anything I had no motivation during those periods(still somewhat do) it almost feel like there is literally nothing inside me.I am always procastinating these days so I am unable to complete my work in time and I kept proscastinating while studying for exams and got low scores, its just....I dont know why I fell in the porn trap. I was a top ranker and now I ve just lost interest in studying but still there is a small part in me which wants to learn. I wrote a competitive exam,I did not prepare for it well after this lockdowns because I was watching porn.But during the last week of the exam I stopped preparing as a whole.The thing which most hurts is that I didnt even try . I was able to write that exam a bit well without studying but my parents think my that's my capacity and don't wanna push me hereafter.Ive lost so much and I dont want to lose anything anymore.I am gonna post everyday I feel like I have to do it.