We successfully touch down on Miller’s planet. It’s time to find our fellow mate and datas about this planet. We have less time to catch up Dr. Miller’s Planet. So we only have 2 days. Nice to see that Interstellar made us this far and hope you get the CD. Stay strong all!
Must have been the stress of coming through the atmosphere that got me stressing and suffering from despair. Glad your right here besides me this gives me strength to stay alive. The clouds are electric and the rain is freezing. But I will hope that soon this storm shall pass.
Day 2 I have not been on in about 4 days. I relapsed nearly 3 days ago and I felt really disgusted with myself because it was porn I find disgusting, yet that is what got me off. It was a wake up call because I don't want my tastes changing again, and after that night I decided I was not going to focus too much on streaks for a few days. Thus, while I will still check onto NoFap, it may not be everyday as I focus on living my life. With that said, yesterday was my grad celebration (along with my sister's), and my best friend Lexie came over. We have both expressed feelings for each other, and she stayed the night last night and got drunk with my sister's. Anyway, we were flirting a lot and semi-cuddling (I kept laying my head on her shoulder and she did laid her head on my head). It was super nice and when I walked her to her car today when she left, when I returned to my house, I announced that I was going to marry her someday. We are not in a relationship yet, but she will be coming over quite often this summer so that we can go for walks. I know how destructive porn can be on relationships, so this is the perfect time to get clean. Best, Mathman1994
Keep checking in here brother! It's the accountability that helps. I know it's frustrating to announce relapse but we have all experienced what your going through now. Please get yourself some filtering and blocking software. It will save you a world of pain. I recommend remojo because you can lock your device with it if triggered. It has a free trial you have nothing to lose except a pmo addiction. Happy to hear there is a nice girl in your life. Trust me when I tell you do anything to break free. If that means 15 $ a month on filters do it. I destroyed many relationships over the years with my pmo issues. I also realized that I blew a lot of chances. Women just aren't interested in us guys if we fap away all our manliness. They can tell subconsciously even if we don't feel guilty or think they don't know. They know. If you want a wife you will get this finished once and for all!
I have a accountability partner outside of this site, and I do use software which is really effective for the most part including have accountability. There is an app I have use for a group that has porn on it that is not blocked and despite my attempts to lock that app for certain times of day, it is still hard to block everything. With that said, I am on day 3, so that is going well. In just a few more hours, I will be 4 days clean. Best, Mathman1994
Day 4 - Almost slipped up earlier today. I was on the toilet and I had the sudden urge to MO. I had my hand on my groin about to start applying pressure, and then I thought about standing up to MO like I do without porn, but I had a moment where I paused and I said to myself, what are the pros and cons of MOing right now? I was not going to rule out masturbation, but I wanted to be sure I was fully committed. Pros: 1) It would feel good. 2) I would feel more relaxed. 3) I would have a clear head for a productive day. 4) It may prevent me from later using porn Cons: 1) I would have to reset my counter as I am on Hard Mode 2) More often than not, when I MO, I MO a couple times more and then I PMO. This is what usually happens 3) I might feel like crap, or I might feel tired even if I am not feeling crappy, and then I might not have a productive day 4) MO feeds my addiction as it is a dopamine hit when I don't need it Anyway, once I made my list, my urges went away and I did not even have to make the decision to MO or not because I no longer felt like doing it. In fact, in that minute of making the list in my head, I was able to stop thinking about MO and I no longer wanted to do it. So I am 4 days clean, no MO, no edging, and feeling good. Day could have been more productive, but it is only 5:30PM, so I still have time to get stuff done. Best, Mathman1994
Day 5 - Had a brief moment earlier today where I put in search terms for P-subs. However, I decide to close out of it pretty quickly so that I could think. I meditated for a minute as I considered my next options. Did I walk away? Did I MO without visual stimuli? Did I PMO? In the end, that quick one minute meditation took the urges from high to manageable and I went to my room to play Yugioh away from my devices. Best, Mathman1994
Day 6 - Drone Catcher If I can make it to 10PM tonight, I will have beaten my 6 day streak that I have broken every 6 days for the last month. I feel like I have more of a purpose right now, and I am going through life not focusing too much on whether I am living right, and I am just living. Granted, I am not living to my fullest potential, I am getting up late, and I am wasting my days away playing games or on Youtube (though I have not gone on Youtube in a day and a half, and it is very freeing. I like Youtube, but I like my life more without it. I am playing in a Yugioh tournament tonight, and then I am attending an all weekend event for Yugioh Saturday and Sunday. My main goal at this point in addition to keeping clean is to get up by 5/6:30AM every morning, and to start studying for my qualifying exams for my Master's in August. How are you @hoping_cannon @Henryforward ? Haven't seen either of you on in a few days. Best, Mathman1994
I'm doing well, thanks @Mathman1994 Day 54. You've just got to stop believing the lie about pmo that it's something you deserve. Or somehow it's our right to relieve urges. We all get urges And that's natural, it's what we do with those urges that defines us. Thinking differently is the key. I think about scripture and that has washed me from the inside out. I recommend if you have a Bible spend a little time in there. Glad your almost at a week! Keep going
Day 54 Dr. Mann’s planet is promising to lead a life and has optimal climatic conditions. @Henryforward we need to explore to all extent and report it back to the ground station on earth. Stay strong!
So much water raging, the waves are threatening. They crash all around trying to make me drown. But I will not bow down to that old dragons frown. My mood has plummeted today. I am wondering if this is the flatline properly hiting me. I have been also wondering what has happened to me as I used to be such a chirpy happy guy. Now I don't laugh or joke much. It's cold up here on melencholy hill.
I am doing well. A week clean today, and feeling good. Heading to Milwaukee, WI to check out apartments for next year as I am headed off to grad school there. Playing in a big Yugioh event this weekend, and looking forward to it. Best, Mathman1994
I just logged in today Am heartbroken to hear the death of Gary Wilson,I was just shocked for a minute ,he is the reason I found the path to nofap. A few months back someone posted a message in Nofap saying that gary wilson was unwell but I still saw him doing interviews for YT channels, even when he was very much unwell he went and worked. I am just shaken... dunno what to say May he stay in our hearts forever......
It’s weird that no one seems to be really giving a toss about this loss (no rhyme intended) around here? The graphic on landing page doesn’t even have any commemorative thread linked or anything. Contrary to what Wilson’s outwardly appearance might suggest, he certainly had the balls it takes to go against the mainstream and speak out loud about the enormous damage this phenomenon commonly believed to be “just healthy and a man’s thing to do” causes. And for that he deserves our R.I.P. and a moment of silence.
Day 9 - Close call last night. It would not have been a PMO as I was not at all aroused, but it would have been a P relapse had I not stopped when I did (I was browsing the internet and Youtube for about an hour, but only saw actual porn for less than a minute, so I am calling it peeking but not a reset, still dangerous though). I had had a long day and it was around 1/1:30AM, and as I am in the middle of a flatline, I was browsing the internet and watching YouTube trying to feel something. I never did, but I started to fish to see what I could find. Went on a couple social media sites I am on and typed in search terms that could generate something. Most of the time, it did not generate anything. A couple times, I came across pornographic thumbnails (did not watch the videos), but even as I looked through this, I was not all the way there. But then I stumbled on something that snapped me out of it, as it reminded me of why I gave up PMO nine days ago. So I logged off, reached out to my accountability partners and went to bed. I woke up this morning completely forgetting about last night until I looked at the accountability app I used which had logged my search history (despite me deleting it). It sucks, but I consider myself still to be 9.5 days clean and I will be really careful coming up. No more Youtube or social media for at least one more week (maybe permanently if it continues to lead to fishing). I was doing great for the last week, so it may have to be permanent (at least for Youtube). best, Mathman1994
Day 0 - Farmer @hoping_cannon I was able to win last night, but this evening, I could not. I fell victim to a search on eBay that pulled up unrelated material that was triggering. However, even though I could not help see that stuff, I could help that after that I took my laptop into my bathroom and fapped, so yeah. Sucks, but I will get some sleep and start over tomorrow Best, Mathman1994
