Day 1. Farming the crops. Been quite down and out with life. Thought some pictures would help elevate the depression. Of course a picture progresses to the colour tube and a few seconds late. What the frick have I done. I've probably been stuck in this stupid habit nearly 15 years and it never ever makes me happy. Why do we believe that lie only to be severely disappointed the second we get off. How lame and pathetic. I see couples out walking around and I know if I don't stop this lame habit. I'll never have that. Been a long time since I've had that. And the only reason I don't now is because I have given in time after time. Giving in is not giving up however. I will never stop fighting this cancer. Who's with me. Onwards and upwards. Screw fapping that's for losers. And none of us are losers.