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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Marcus Aurelius, Aug 25, 2019.
I would have to say that it is more than just being tough. It is more than just having passion to get clean, and while I think willpower play a role, it takes a lot more than our determination/willpower to get clean. I am on day 27 for the first time in months without porn, and this is the longest I have gone without PMO since I was 12 almost 13.
I think the best mindset it to keep your standards high. To remind yourself of your goals, and to acknowledge that a rocky road is a hard. You need to be tough on yourself while you are clean and having urges, but have compassion for yourself when you fall off the PMO ledge. However, being compassionate does not mean condoning relapse. If you are not compassionate, or you condone your relapse with the excuse that you are being compassionate, you will almost certain go on a bender. Now this bender might last a day or two, or even a week, and these are never good as the completely negate any healing that has occurred in your brain. So the best thing is that if/when you relapse, and trust me, it will probably happen a lot until you get your goals set up, you have to say to yourself, “this sucks, I feel bad, and I love myself enough to get back on the horse and try again”. And even if you don’t love yourself, I would say it anyway. Think of yourself in terms of your good qualities. Think about your interactions with people, and the joy you bring to them, and you might feel like a bummer to your loved one’s, so it might be hard to come up with things. To that I say, describe yourself in how you want to be, as if you already are. Visualize who you are going to be when you are clean.
Now, I know that my response is getting long, but when you are on the horse, and you see yourself starting to slip, and the horse if headed toward the cliff, grab those reigns, pull back and keep far from the abyss while also staying on the horse. If metaphors are not good for you, the abyss is total relapse and binging. If the horse goes over the edge, you fall. Falling off the horse is a reset, and for me, the bar is low, so touching myself for more than a few seconds after I become aware that I am touching myself (I sometimes do it absentmindedly), or looking at porn/porn-sub for more that a couple seconds before you snap out of it, and close your browser, or fishing for images for more than a few seconds after you recognize that that is what you are doing, then that is a fall of the horse. It might seem like a lot of pressure, but falling off the horse, far the edge of relapse is a lot better than going over. And at times you will start to slip from your horse, and you need to hold on tight while maintaining control. This is a metaphor for starting to masturbate, starting to fish, searching for porn/porn-sub, without looking, or watching a movie with erotic scenes for the sake of seeing the eroticism. It is okay to slip, but the trick is to catch yourself because you fall, and to stop yourself from falling into the abyss.
Hope this helps.
Thank you my brother I will try to keep my passion for this addiction
day 28, not getting any urges , what this phase is called
baah, reset again, starting over one more time. Need to break free
0 days, youngling
Not SW-related but here's a video that you might appreciate and relate to.
Day 173, Jedi Master.
Great work! Happy to have another member on the council!
Hey guys, sorry I haven't checked in. Actually, I'm gonna check out, not for any dramatic purpose.
I have noticed that if I do not pressure myself to post every day about my progress, I feel that I can put my energy to the rest of my life and not so much on my recover. In this way, my recovery simply become a part of the rest of my life and not something I am always consciously trying to strive to, and ultimately fail in. So far, since doing this method, I have felt amazing and had no urges after 12 days, and am going to continue this. I am also exercising regularly now (running) and intend to keep this up.
I will still be on the forum. Pop your head into my journal if you wanna say hi. I'll post semi regularly. <3
Almost a Jedi Knight
Check-in day 41!!
Yesterday's Check-In Rank 96 Jedi Council Member
Today's Check-In Rank 97 Jedi Council Member
May The Force Be With You!
1 day, youngling
stay on track, all the best!
day 3 still Youngling
Day 5, 5 days of freedom and staying clean
This is golden advice, very well said