5 days: youngling I'll make it through today, and then this will be my longest streak in a long time.
Day 12 now as a Padawan. I realized that I haven't abstained this long from PMO since a year and a half ago when I did a 10 day meditation retreat. I really think that I'm on a roll now because I have asked the essential questions of what habits kept going back to porn, and of what I could do to prevent those habits that led to porn. Trigger management is such a big thing that I have much more appreciation for now. Anxiety, bad sleep, no direction in life, are among some of my triggers. Just fixing my sleep and staying committed to a healthy sleep schedule has been immensely helpful in staying away from porn; and also cultivating my philosophy for life and spirituality gives me a feeling of grounding and purpose. After all, without purpose and meaning, why quit porn at all? If I felt that my life was meaningless, that I had no purpose, or that I felt that I was not aloud to have my own life, then why quit porn at all? Why not just drown in painful pleasure as a powerful distraction to bludgeon my consciousness so that I never come to realize that I'm harming myself by continuing to go down this route of porn addiction? Other than that I want to be more committed in Life when I wake up in the morning. This morning I felt very dragged out and tired, I just wanted to go back to bed. I feel as if I wasted time by not being as productive this morning as I could have been, and now I'm going to work for the evening shift. I almost feel like I wasted my day. So I commit now to being more assiduous in the morning when I wake up. Okay, I'm tired. It's not the end of the world, and I don't need to do jumping jacks right out of bed or anything in order to feel like I'm waking up. Going for a short walk, taking a shower, and drinking a cup of coffee wakes me up. And other than that I want to feel excited and interested in what I am doing with my time in the morning, like I am a lot of the time in the evening. I feel like my mornings are ruined a lot of the time by this meandering anxiety to avoid getting down to business. Why do I feel that anxiety? I will ask myself that question tomorrow morning and see if answering it will help me to be more productive.
Just checking in, urges much stronger today but I'm not gonna let them cause me to fap, I getting better at separating how I feel and what I do.
After an interesting night, I am still on day 0, but due to MO not PMO. Found porn and porn-subs on my phone hard drive dating back to March, which I managed to delete without too much peeking, though it was a very triggering half an hour that led to me MOing at the end. Anyway, this I promise is my last Rank 0
AAAAAAAAAAA I was tempted to the dark side and closed myself to the force The good news is that i now can go to my Barash and reconnect completely to the force Day 0
Some of the videos that I have watched suggest that in days 9 - 18, you might experience more anxiety because your energy levels are incresing. But when FLAT LINE hits, you might feel otherwise, so just keep going until you reach the point when you transmute that semen in your body. ( My largest streak was 60 days, right now Im on day 8 ).
day 6 checking in. by 6:25 tomorrow I would have made it a week. Today was a difficult one, the most ive struggles yet, but its all good. didn't fail
