day 18 for some reason i could not sleep. my body felt hot. however right now i experience no urge so i'm okay. yesterday i realised i felt strange among people... i don't know what should be my place... i also talked to a girl that was in my school that i encountered in my train on my way to school. i spent a really good time talking to her, i missed that feeling of a good conversation ! i must workout today, i'll do it after this post... i should see a doctor as well as i have an infection.
0/116 (2022) no p-subs, no sex thinking about the fantasy of reality there are no more fantasies about women, only body stuff. I'm going to start using my file storage only once a month to back up stuff. a bad habit.
welcome fellow aspiring jedi... may this be the place where you'll discover the true beauty of the Force.
day 19 felt horrible most of the day, because of an infection i caught. first official day of the school year as far as i am concerned. for some reasons i felt miserable and weak. not dangerous. disposable. i felt in danger. this is something that i am not surprised of. however this whole health situation and how it's handled puts me in a worse mood... i felt deep anger and resentment... for my workout i ran for 16" and then walked for the next 50". i felt less miserable after that. i should eat more. i ate a slice of cake for breakfast. rolls of ham and cheese for lunch, yogurt with jam for desert. and some little sandwiches for dinner. i feel urges... i don't feel like i am objectifying girls in my head as i used to, do i ? however now i am facing boredom again, but as my health is degrading it is mixed with anger. i must do something about it ! come on ! i'll have a great breakfast tomorrow, and i'll wake up early. thank you.
