The Journey

Hello Fapstronaut, this is Destroyer of PMO. Before you continue, I must warn you that I will be explicit since it is necessary not just for you but for me because I need to get this poison out of my life. I want to help anyone to overcome this addiction. It took me around 2 weeks, so it is about 1 hour of reading, maybe a little more. I recommend you read this over the weekend or/and on your free time.

To start off, I’ve been a member of this community for around 3 years now. I discovered I had an addiction to PMO when I accidentally stumbled upon “Gary Wilson’s: The Great Porn experiment” when I was 18. If you have not watched this video, it is empirical that you watch it so that you can get a better sense of what PMO is, I’ll leave helpful links at the end. Since then, I have been fighting this addiction with many wins and failures. I want to share my experience so that you do not fall into the same pitfalls as I did, and if you do you will know how to Get Out. I call this addiction “El Hoyo” because I could not get out of it and it was infinite, but I finally did.

I first encountered porn around the age of 10. I remember that I friend showed me some videos and we got caught, which was a little funny. But the sad part was that later on I stumbled upon gay porn (Age: 12); I’ll explain how this affected me later. Nevertheless, as a little child I was confused on what I was watching and doing, my mind could not wrap around it. I’m sure I’m not the only one who had a similar experience as this one. Still, it was not a problem, it was rare that I watched but I did not know the damage I was doing. We must remember that this addiction is new, with the rise of the internet never in human history have we had this amount of sex available at our fingertips. I also remember that in elementary school most of us kids had already watched some type of porn.

And when you encounter porn at this young age, especially one that does not match your values and sexuality, it can have a profound effect on who you will become. I remember I was intrigued of what I was watching, it was weird, new, and even special. My mind and body would chase it but as I said, it was not a problem, yet.
As I said above, most of us kids in elementary school had already watched some type of porn by middle school everyone had watched it, even many girls. I do remember watching it with friends, even though it was fun, we did not know what we were doing plus well we were seeing beautiful women. I remember I watched normal and lesbian porn plus the weird sites with my friends, I do not know the links and please block them and never visit them, you do not need that stuff in your head. Many friends would recommend porn videos, porn stars, sites, etc.

You must be wondering, how has porn affected you at this point? To answer that question, I think porn made me shy, awkward and it made me act weird around girls now that I’m thinking about it. It was my secret; I did not want anyone to know about it. I was also going through puberty so even more awkwardness. Even at this early-stage porn was already showing its side effects. And to add, I live in one of the most dangerous cities in Mexico. My father was kidnapped when I was about to enter middle school, thankfully nothing happened to him, and my family is safe and well now. So, if we combine these two things, I honestly do not know what you get, but it is not good.
My middle school years were normal and chill. Not many people knew that my father had been kidnapped, of course now that I’m older I’m more open about it. I was a normal kid I hanged out with my friends, played videogames, had fun at school, did sports, but a parasite was growing slowly. I had a couple of crushes here and there, my heart was broken a couple of times and I had my first kiss on the last year of middle school, which is completely normal. Even though it was a nice kiss, PMO did prevent me from having it with the girl I wanted. Moreover, on this last year I smoked Marijuana with some friends. I graduated and on my graduation party I was with a girl I really liked and kept liking for some part of high school. But everything changed in high school.

Escalation
In high school I had many crushes, but I never did anything. Why? Because of PMO. I was never conscious about it until now, 5 god dam years later. For example, I remember a girl was unto me and I liked her back, but I rejected her and chose PMO. It could’ve been the first for both of us, now I will never experience that. It is essential to experience that, yet PMO is preventing many guys from this. This PMO addiction must be up there with Heroin, Cocaine, Meth because it stops you from achieving dreams and your potential. It transforms your sexuality; it takes a part of your humanity and molds it to its taste. There are many similar stories where I liked a girl and never did anything because I preferred to hide under PMO, sad for any man.

At the age of around 17 I escalated to transwoman porn. This kept going for 4 years. PMO prevented me from having a lot of sex. It made me angry, jealous, and I would also say a bad man. No man should be watching porn, it is detrimental for our health. As Kevin Hart said “Porn, stupidest shit a man can do”. I was lost in PMO, it never occurred to me that it was problem, it made me do stupid shit I am not proud of. As you know the pandemic hit and well, I was still masturbating even after I had watched Gary Wilson´s video. As I said, I tried to do everything that was under my power to stop watching porn but every time it somehow slid back unto my life.

Thanks to all the transwoman porn I watched, it was slowly changing my sexuality, I was about to act on real life and thank god it never happened. I have had many thoughts thinking that I am gay for watching this and I know I am not, but I never knew this could happen, until now. Watching a lot of porn also make you insecure and useless. I wish I could go back in time and never see porn. I wish I could erase all those images from my mind.

The Savior
During summer of 2021 I had to travel to Alaska to work. This job has been the most intense one I have ever had working around 18 hours, maybe even 19-20. But to make the story short, I met a girl over there and she fucking saved me. If it wasn’t for her, I would’ve continued down the hole until I reached the bottom. With this girl everything came into view for me, I was toxic, angry, resentful, bad, basically I could not function in a relationship, I had reached this point. I called her fat multiple times and lashed out at her for no reason. Yet she stood by my side this whole time, I am so grateful for that. She made me reconnect with myself, I had been lost for too long I no longer knew who I was or what I was. I believe I am a changed man now, but I still have a long path to travel and close the wound that PMO made.

Return Home
With Alaska, my energy did go up. How I view life has dramatically changed and I thought that this PMO thingy would be long gone after Alaska, BOY I WAS WROOOOOOOONG!

It slowly crept back unto my life, I had 2 relapses which were horrible. I blocked all porn from all my devices, I have installed and modified a lot to make it impossible to look it up (Links Below). But on this very day the filter did not work for a reason, and it popped and all of the sudden I was the same guy I wanted to kill. Obviously, I did fix it, but the damage was done.

A month passes, I am feeling relieve and motivated again and from out of nowhere I woke up with a thought that changed everything, I wanted to buy a freaking dildo, WTF! Worst of all I listened and went and bought one, I swear to God if felt like I had no control, like if the old me took control. Even with what happened in Alaska I still have no control over this, maybe I never will. But these relapses served me, if it wasn’t for them, I would not be doing this Post, how crazy is this. I also missed opportunities with girls I liked, like my old self, how was this happening again, I could not believe it. These 2 relapses also put into view who I was becoming, a weak and useless man.

But hope is not lost, Alaska gave me the necessary tools to destroy it, which I am giving to you, life works in a funny way. Remember, the universe is not against you, only you. What I am telling is just one path of many that PMO has led many men to, do not fall into the trap. In addition, I have had this chest pain which was gone when I was in Alaska and came back a few weeks after I came home. PMO causes physical and emotional sickness, for me it led to depression, it may be different for you, but we know the cure, which is to stop.

To end, Billie Eilish just told her story on how porn has affected her. She gave me the courage to speak up and tell this same story to 2 family members, and now to the internet. If Billie Eilish can do it, so can you , speak up and “Que se vaya a la verga el PMO”.


Recommendations
To start off you need to make a commitment/promise to never watch porn again. Block all porn from your personal devices. This means iPad, phone, computer, tv, etc., everything needs to go away. Trust me, you do not need porn in your life, it is a waste of resources, and it poisons your mind, body, and soul.

In your computer you can install add-on such as Leech Block, Porn Blocker, etc. On IOS enable screen time with restrictions and make sure you click on disable adult sites. The second step is to remodify your thoughts. Do not reach the point to where I am at, you will lose everything. They play a big role in this addiction. You must beware of all negative thoughts. Acknowledge them and accept them, do not engage with them just let them exist. After all they are only thoughts, but your thoughts can make you. It is really important that you be patient, do not lose your faith, just give it a couple of months, and believe me, you will be in a totally different path. Also flirt more and go outside your comfort zone, PMO heals slowly but steady.

Now all filters will not work 100%, as from above you can see that sometimes these filter will fail. The thing is to go back, debug, and fix it before you relapse. As I said, Leechblock, Hyadentech, UBlockOrigin, etc. are all very useful but they can sometimes fail so keep an eye on that.

Pros of masturbating/watching porn/using dating apps/thinking about sex:

· None

Cons of masturbating/watching porn/using dating apps/thinking about sex:

· Depression

· Erectile Disfunction

· Anger

· Anxiety

· Escalation to harder porn

· Low confidence

· Low energy

· Low self-esteem

· Regret

· No sex

· Resentfulness

· Closing up and shutting everyone off

· Many, many more.


If you do PMO keep in mind that you will feel bad, low energy, and negative thoughts for at least 3 week, at least that is how it is for me. If you do MO or M, it’s just around 4-5 days which is better but avoid it at all costs, it is not worth it, trust me. If it is your first time doing NoFap, aim for 30 days, you will get a boost confidence which then you can use it to flirt more. It is one of the mistakes I wished I avoided, I though I could go 90 days or more without engaging with girl which is foolish. I saw a post which lightened me up, it said “How do you cure a sex problem? Well, with sex duuuuh”.

I have seen many posts where they do not recommend having sex. No, no, no, you can but do it with someone you care for not randomly. Of course, do not use prostitution, you are just swapping PMO for this. I have done it and trust me, not worth it.

If you have any kids, please block all types of porn, and make sure they never get access to it.

Please do not let PMO take anything more, I know you can beat it, everyone can. SAY NO TO PORN AND MASTURBATION. It is our duty to spread this message and not let future generations fall into the hole. Women will be and are in your life, you are looking in the wrong places and most probably you are doing PMO.
STOP!!


Good Luck Mate, this is Destroyer of PMO going dark.


Useful Links:
The Great Porn Experiment:
Atomic Habits: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
My Contract to kill PMO: https://docs.google.com/document/d/...ouid=113208302675997625660&rtpof=true&sd=true
Universal Man/Mark Queppet: https://www.youtube.com/c/MarkQueppet
Matt D’Avella: https://www.youtube.com/c/MattDAvella/videos
Stop using dating apps:
Billie Eilish Story: https://www.latimes.com/entertainme...illie-eilish-porn-effects-age-11-howard-stern
Porn file: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bd-hthK6Kq5ikBVLVGp9X3u10F-FC9N4/view?usp=sharing

Block Porn:
How to lock Google Safe Search: https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/186669?hl=en#zippy=,on-macos
LeechBlock: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/leechblock-ng/
Unlock Origin: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ublock-origin/cjpalhdlnbpafiamejdnhcphjbkeiagm?hl=en