The longer I do NoFap, the more straight I become...?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Trey21, Nov 8, 2016.

  1. Trey21

    Trey21 Fapstronaut

    Hey all,

    So I have posted here before about my struggle and now things are a little different..

    In my latest streak, I noticed that I became viscerally attracted to women again, just like I remembered I was when I was a young kid before I discovered porn and gay porn at 12. It came around day 60 when I got these flood of my hetero attractions again and it's like I was ONLY attracted to women, not even bisexual... it became difficult not to fap to images and videos featuring hot women

    Well naturally, I thought it was too good to be true and HOCD came creeping back and I kept looking at bi-coming out stories and stuff and checking and reassuring that I really was straight and I got anxious again, making me think "oh but I am still bi..." although my attractions to women came back WITHOUT investing in looking at porn featuring women, etc.

    Well I actually relapsed at day 91 because I had kept having this fantasies about women that were overwhelming to me and I loved that the attraction came back so I went ahead and stroked until ejaculation..

    Of course this left a chaser and I was by my computer and I felt like looking up gay porn just to test myself again and long story short, it aroused me after looking for a while and I relapsed again) and now I have the flood of HOCD again and feeling attracted to guys and arousal again that wasn't there

    I know the answer seems simple - stop watching the porn, stop PMO-ing but I just hate how all it takes is one little drop to ruin my progress and return of what i feel are my natural desires... any thoughts?
    Maddey likes this.
  2. Trey21

    Trey21 Fapstronaut

    please help me... this is really confusing
  3. Captain Average

    Captain Average Fapstronaut

    Hmm, I'm no expert in the subject but in my point of view, this could be related to fetishes. For instance, let's say someone is attracted to stockings. Slowly, over time his fetish will weaken as he progresses. In a way, I think that the whole "Gay Porn" issue with you may be sort of a fetish. Because it's what you started off with so your brain has wired itself to receiving pleasure from there. Keep going and don't even ask questions or look back man!
  4. PsycheMagician

    PsycheMagician Fapstronaut

    Hey mate,
    Dont give up.
    My porn taste escalated to very fucked up things too, and i can say to you, if you say that you are not gay, you are not. Easy like this. Gay people do not feel disgusted after watching gay porn. They may be scared to come out as gays because they are afraid of what they friends and family will think of them, but they dont have this dialog with themselves "iam not gay". They just do know they are and they like men. You probably got this fetiche with men by forcing yourself into this kind of porn. Stay clean and this will go away. Something similar happened to me when i started to watch shemale porn. I noticed that my brain started to associate dicks with pleasure. If you stay clean, meditate, transmute your sexual energy and do productive things, your HOCD will go away quickly. If you need to talk about it, feel free to send me a PM. Will be a pleasure to help you. Be strong, brother.
  5. Joseph92

    Joseph92 Fapstronaut

    You don't have to declare yourself to be "gay", "straight" or "bisexual". Those are categories, and don't feel obligated to fit into any of them. Sexuality is somewhat fluid.

    Porn can mess with your head. Don't use porn.
  6. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

    It sounds like you are deeply wired for women, but can be sidetracked by porn. When you are off porn for a while, you are excited by girls. You might want to just stay off porn. Just saying.
    I certainly would not suggest that you keep digging deeper into porn until you find yourself starting to get excited by 6 year old's. You wouldn't be the first. I think a complete reboot, without dabbling in any internet options will leave you happier with yourself. Real people are really exciting and can do real sex. It is more complicated than fapping or watching, reading and dreaming, but it is real and really rewarding. Hang in there.
  7. Ambrose

    Ambrose Fapstronaut

    It sounds like, and I'm not a psychologist (though I do know a bit about the subject) so grain of salt, your attraction to men may be acquired from porn use. Getting 'rebooted' should remove the acquired tastes.

    There is a lot not fully understood about sexual preference, from a scientific point of view, and it has become politically incorrect to objectively study it.
  8. Maddey

    Maddey Fapstronaut

    When u feel attracted to a women and get overwhelmed and want to ejaculate, don't. Instead go out meet a girl ur attracted to and FUCK her, no JOKE, dead serious.

    its much better to have sex then to jack off and relapse

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