The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 74... I got a bit triggered I guess. Something really reminded me of a video I used to like and that's on my mind now, but I'm holding strong and reviewing some educational self growth minded material instead of giving in. Like I said though, I continually see girls that aren't wearing bras though. It's now a daily thing here unless I just don't go out. This is a super liberal, feminist infested area to the max though so I guess this is what you will get... Even our University is literally an indoctrination center for this stuff. It just is a little extra challenge I guess.

 

Day 9
No news is good news

 

Day 40.

St. Jerome, pray for us!

 

Day 81

 

Day 225 no PMO. Good day yesterday. I played a golf simulator with some friends and it was a lot of fun. No urges. Went to bed at 9:45.

 

Missed my check in yesterday, busy day. Urges pop up here and there but I remain steadfast in my desire to destroy the ring. Have a great day, Fellowship!

 

Day 486

 

I’ve noticed urges returning the past couple of weeks.

at first I thought this was a setback.

now I wonder if I’m beginning to come out of a very long flatline.

i pmo’d for over 20 years and I guess it makes sense that my full recovery may take a few years.

these urges are temporary and a valid part of my recovery.

Nothibg to do but stay the course and allow my recovery to unfold at its own pace and rhythm.

everything will be okay.

 

Day 2. Walking step by step

 

Day 7
Its good to be here, I am already improving my average periods of abstinence, lets hope this one turns out to be the definitive streak. Seeing you guys with your scores and races mekes me feel like in a realfantasy world among true legendary heroes, some day I will be like you (I hope), a legend among mortals, keep going everyone!

 

Day 9 completed

 

Day 1. Hey everyone! I am re-entering the challenge. I am coming up on one year porn-free but did end up masturbating around day 200. I would like to do another 90-day rest as the benefits were definitely noticeable on my 180 days no PMO streak. Super excited to be back and ready to take on the journey!

 

Last relapse: night of 4th October { p-edging ~ 2 hours, medium: hardcore clips, finish move: pmo(1x) }
Lessons learned:
1. don't go online for reporting with a strong craving, even if you think it has faded
2. to "just have a peek" always leads to fullblown relapse
3. you seem to think you still can do p, that "lasts times" are still ok for you and you're still flirting with p - this has to stop! Change your mindset fundamentally! But ... one day at a time
4. Ergo: you aren't allowed to do it. Whatever happens, however you might feel learn to except this principle or reboot just won't be possible for you.


Day 1

urge level (from zero to 3): 1
tools or methods I used against urges: -none (faded away)

EDIT: strong cravings in the evening that were completely unnecessary because i had such a stupid idea
I thought something like this:
I want to quit porn for real now, so why not end it with a "nice one" so that when I look back the last time I remember is not the crazy binge from last night but just some beautiful and sexy girl ... mmmhh I could watch an asmr-video on youtube, that is not porn but still ... appealing ...

Of course the moment when I searched for "asmr" or at the latest when I searched for "sexy asmr" I was in the rabbithole. It took only 3 seconds of the flustering voice together with a young face and a well presented busty cleavage to make my heart race and 30 more seconds to get me a boner.
BUT I realized it !!! First I stopped watching and put the device away and a little later I decided to leave the house and go for a run.

I started with light running but then added more and more exercises to my run. It was a really good work out and I'm so glad it saved me this time

Another WIN

 

Day 63