The Lord of the Rings Challenge

3 weeks! 21 days! 504 hours! This is amazing!

I’m just so happy to be clean. I’ve never thought I could get to this point, and it feels great.

I know it could sound silly, but for me, learning juggling was amazing to help me in times of trouble.

I’ve linked a video of the man who started the HeadSpace meditation app. That app helped so much. This tad talk is about meditation, but while looking at this tad talk he is showing that practicing juggling is surprisingly similar to the meditation.

Trust me, juggling is hard enough to keep you engaged in the present moment (and help with the urge). Beneficial in the sense that it really helps improve coordination. And really satisfying to having this fun ability that you can show off at random times in social events. And you can learn how to do it from YouTube in a couple of hours.

 

0 Days again
"an old robed man came to me in the night, he urged me to start my journey, he also gave me a warning, that the ring wraiths were comming, I grew scared and ran back to the caves wearing the blody ring"

Back at square one again, I woke up last night with an unusual urge product of a dream, somehow it happens to me each time I see this one girl, I am not that much into her, and I barely saw her, but I have noticed this recurring pattern, so wierd. What ever, its best to let go of remorse and keep going, the good side of it all is that my average streaks have grown from 2-3 days to 15-20; Rome wasn't built in one day they say.

 

Day 141, trod on!

 

It's day four for me.

I know that I have not made the final decision that I will not masturbate anymore when I can be sexual with my wife instead, though that is the decision I am trying to make. My mind keeps telling me that it would be okay in the future. I have learned to realize that I am thinking this way at least, but now I need to combat it, to make the decision once and for all that I will not masturbate. I want this, but something is holding me back. I wish I knew how to just do this.

For now, I take the journey one day at a time. I try to put my plan into practice, and one day I think it will work. Maybe that's what it takes: persevering and working the plan until it clicks.

I cut down on caffeine as I have done many times in the past. I feel well about this, albeit tired. I want to quit one day, although it is a less important goal than quitting masturbation.

I know that I can do this.

 

75 days – You face difficulties walking though the razor-sharp winding paths of Emyn Muil. A fallen brother named Gollum offers help and guidance. He doesn´t seem reliable but he knows the way out of the maze, so you decide to follow him.

Grateful everyday to have reached this milestone. I feel more focused and less ashamed

 

Day 4

 

Day 87

I had a dream I relapsed last night, glad it turned out just to be a dream.

 

Struggling with chaser effect urges. Man, the addiction is so powerful. Have to practice my skills now of observing the thought and redirecting my focus towards some small achievable goal.

 

Guys, I am watching "Kingdom Men Rising" and while you don't have to agree with everything in it, there are some super relevant interviews from about minute 39:00. I literally paused watching it to post this here. I can't find the clips on you tube, but if you stream the documentary and go to minute 39 you can pick it up from there.
"when you are not spiritually alive, you're left with nothing but your senses. So now you're trying to feel alive and you're using your senses to get you that, when that was never God's intention. It's a poor substitute for being spiritually alive."

 

Found this also which might help (it has helped me)-

 

Day 10 - New record!!!

Today I have beaten my record of 9 days from February! I wish I could say today was great but it kinda wasn't all that great, I haven't eaten much due to a bunch of reoccurring urges throughout the day plus I had some really bad chest pain from overexerting myself during my workout. Don't get me wrong I'm over the fucking moon about the fact that I've finally beaten my record AND reached double digits for the first time, just the contents of today have been kinda poop. But nevertheless, today marks the longest I have ever gone without PMO since the age of about 9.

 

Day 244

 

455 days

 

Day 12. This has been a rough road. Caught myself fishing today. Really having some self-doubt lately. Need to keep pushing ahead and create a healthy sex life

 

22 days
This time I'll make it to the 90

 

Day 1 complete!

Little bit of chaser, but nothing too powerful. I was NOT about to let myself get into a pattern of bingeing after having just fallen so recently. If only I could keep up this mindset for weeks at a time. Really, having masturbated at any point in the past is still too "recently."

 

0 days Nazgul wanting to join in. Let’s go brothers, I wanna be a Gandalf someday, but for now my goal is to make it to Hobbit. Thanks for your support.

 

471 days high king
540 days no PMO, semen retention

 

Today was an exhausting day at work. I felt like I did a little better with the irl fishing thing, but really started to slip towards the end. I am going to have to put more thought into what to do career wise... I really just like the idea of working for myself, but I don't know how realistic that is.