The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Do not compare (bad for the brain and stuff), as this is not a competition and I've been already hitting the gym before this, I just did not focus on the pull up game. Let's see how far can we go!

 

Let the journey begin

I’m restating my counter one last time, I hope. And getting this show on the road.

Day zero, but I’m already the happiest Nazgul in the nine.

Good luck everybody. Lets destroy this ring together.

 

Day 247 no PMO. I’m stressed at work right now. Woke up at 4am worried about a few things at work this week. I don’t feel like a relapse is about to happen but I still need to get my stress under control. Gonna go get a workout now. Have a great day everyone.

 

Day 30, Now I am an Elf.

 

Ok let's do this little challenge, day 0

 

Day 7 - Orc

Yesterday was alright in terms of urges, although I was exposed to more potential triggers than normal, not through my own fault. One of my coworkers showed me a pic of some girl in tight pants. It was really random, he’s been fairly professional up to this point. I hadn’t expected that from him, nor had I indicated that I would want to see something like that. Then my roommates were watching a TV show in the evening where there was montage of sexually explicit stuff (I won’t go into details). Again, random that I happened to walk out during the only sexual part of that episode. I removed myself from those situations though, and I didn’t feel too strongly tempted afterwards.

The vibrating alarm watch has been fantastic, I’m so glad I don’t need my phone in my room at night anymore. If bedtime urges are a struggle for you, investing $20 in a watch like this might be worth it to get your phone out of the bedroom.

I watched a video about knowledge vs understanding by a psychiatrist dude. He basically said that for most of his addiction patients that manage to quit successfully, they have a moment of clarity where they understand that their addiction is actually bad for them. Up to that point, they have the knowledge or information that it is bad for them, but they don’t really believe or understand it fully. He said this understanding is usually brought upon by a moment of intense clarity or focus, like when holding your newborn child for the first time (like with Archie.hill). I’ve been thinking about whether I actually believe that PMO is bad for me. I know informationally that it is bad for XYZ reasons. But do I believe that in the moment of an urge? If I did, I think it would be easier to resist.

Enough talking from me. Hope everyone is well, God bless.

 

Days 5 and 6 completed (apologies for missing a day)

 

Brother, could you share with us this video? I'm interested in it.

 

Water fast
2/7 days

It's almost the end of the second day and beginning of 3rd day of my water fast.
I started the fast because I just felt like giving a break to my body so many years eating, bulking to gain muscle. The last time I fasted it was 10 years ago and I was 50lbs lighter. I gained mostly lean mass.

What surprises me the most is how easy this fast is to this point. Maybe a little less energy but in general is going good.

I did many fasts when I was younger even do almost all of them I felt terrible both physically and mentally.

It's been 13 years of clean diet, not even one cheat meal during this time, also practicing long semen retention streaks and a lot of emotional maturity and mental depth during these years.

I think I see now all the results from a life of health and austerity. Because not eating seems an easy deal, which I never thought that was possible for me.

Today I did core workout, walking and some movement practice, my mind is still sharp for hard studies.

I didn't train more hard because in a couple hours I'm most likely going to have sex, so I don't want to risk it spending my energy in exercise now that I'm fasting.

Let's see how that goes, having sex while fasted, a bit scared for underperforming but not really, it's more like a challenge I never had sex during a fast, I'm more curious to what will happen and to enjoy the challenge.

Also sex will give me some extra energy and during these days is more than welcome.

 

Day 10 on my path of reboot.

 

I also reset my counter. Let's go, comrades.

 

Day 1 - Orc

I went out on my walk in the morning as planned! I forgot to mention yesterday that my therapy session went great because we dug up and discovered some trust issue trauma that I can now work on which I think will really help with my recovery because, as my therapist keeps saying "The opposite of addiction is connection". My accountability group session went well too.

 

Day 1

Feeling pretty good, though I've got some small annoyances creeping up on me, little things related to my job and current project. This is a good time to implement some healthy, grown-up coping skills rather than PMO.

 

If you can my friend, I second your choice to quit caffeine as well. Especially if it has such an effect on you. I quit caffeine about 7-8 years, it definitely had a good impact. When I was drinking it, it would always shoot my anxiety up. So many people are addicted to it, they need it to function. So well done on deciding to put it aside!

 

Checking in Fellowship friends!

Day 352 free of porn and Day 280 free of MO. Busy week with work, but I've made much progress both at work and in my personal day to day. I also had a great workout today, my body is a bit sore but that's quite alright.

Forgive me for being brief today, I'm a bit tired and have not had much time to gather my thoughts for a more insightful and helpful post.

Stay strong my friends.

280 days – The stairs have ended and you entered a long tunnel, dark and moisty. Something doesn´t feel right, but Gollum says “this is the path, Master”.

 

Day 14

 

Day 4
I had a bad night of sleep, but still I managed to wake up early and do my stuff. The urges have been increasing a lot in frequency and intensity. By the way, I'm kinda missing the flatline feelings of 0 drives, hahah. Seriously, anything is trigger for me at this point and I could use some rest of this tension. I got through some moments of urges that could potentially have lead me to relapse, so I feel nice about it. This shows me that it's still possible and I'm able to recover from this addiction.

 

Day 255

 

Day 2 complete! I took a 45 minute nap just before lunch which contained a dangerous dream. Fortunately I only remembered fragments of it, and I will be very content to allow those to slip away as well. The weather is getting colder, which means my cold showers are becoming more effective. It's easy to feel solid and confident when the urges aren't around. The test will be to see how well I can maintain my composure once they arrive.

St. Simon the Apostle, pray for us!

 

32 days
This time I'll make it to the 90