The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Still on day zero, but at least I’ve stopped the freefall.

Yesterday I’ve still PMO twice, but at least it was only PMO and not binge sessions.
I’ve also managed to do some good things yesterday. I’ve meditated a little bit and even joined a gym near my house.

This morning I’ve woken up and washed my face. went out to work out in the gym and I feel hope again.

I’ve found a mantra that resonant with me and I have been saying it to myself today every time I’ve felt an urge…. It’s basically singing to myself the start of “I want to break free” by queen every time I feel the urge coming . I also wrote in my journal a longer version of exactly what I’m trying to break free from and I'll try to come back to it every time I would have the need for it.

I’m slowly crawling form the bottom and it looks like such a long walk. But at least I am walking again.

 

Day 20 - Hobbit

I’m feeling super tired today. Work has been pretty stressful. Some execs from my company are visiting my office this week, we have to dress more formally. There is a free mini-golf thing planned for my coworkers and I tonight to meet with these execs in a more casual setting. I’m conflicted. I like my coworkers, but the mini-golf place is 30 miles away from where I work in the direction opposite of my home, which is 20 miles away. It would be nice to go, but my whole evening would be gone to driving. I’m not sure why it feels so hard to commit one way or the other.

Had one very strong urge when I laid down last night, but it went away quickly. Peace and love, everyone

 

Day 16. Feeling great lately. I have been setting my alarm and getting out of bed rather than fantasizing. This I find to make a huge difference.

 

Day 1

 

What reward did you give yourself when you reached day 5?

 

Relapse

 

I've never heard of anything like that, brother. It doesn't seem an actual scam actually. Were you warned about some possible fee for watching an video? If this happened, then I'm sorry for you. But, it charged you without warning and didn't even get your infos, then it's nothing to worry about. You should check if they recorded you, in this case it's really something to worry about. Also, in this case I recommend you to go to the police.

 

98 days

 

Thanks @RiseToGreatness - I actually came across your Tips post which had the following - many thanks again

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/my-story-and-tips.268831/

"13 - In the reboot you´ll have flatline periods (total absence of sexual desire) and periods of strong pmo urges. If you feel you´re about to slip, you must attend the four main axis that are off balance, in this order:

1 - Emotional - Calm yourself down. per ex: do the breathing space meditation.
2 - Mental - Engage in self-talk. Talk with yourself with 100% honesty, recognize that you have a craving, what are the consequences if you do PMO, and that you don´t want to give in.
3 - Behavioural - Now do something to dissipate the remaining arousal energy. Examples: do light stretches, go for a walk, go outside, talk with somebody, journal, etc. Keep it light, it´s important to not push yourself in this moment.
4 - Sense of lack - Now that you´re feeling grounded it´s time to fill the lack that the craving is pointing to. Fill yourself with self-love by using positive afirmations. When you feel whole again, carry on with your day.

Urges are fueled by sexual thoughts so don´t feed those thoughts, it´s very important.

Cold showers, meditation and workouts are particular effective in reducing strong urges, boost your mood, increase alertness and release dopamine in a positive way, so do them in a regular basis."

I also loved the brain fog and moratorium video clips - really good

 

Well done! I cannot wait to get back to where you are now...

 

Check in day 34.

 

If you did it, you can do it again. It is a first for me and I feel really powerful, and strong. I am delighted to be there among you warriors!

Let's do this!!!

 

If we all listed some rewards then maybe we could all share?
here are some off the top of my head
- Watch a movie
- Get a hot towel shave
- Go out to the cinema and have extra large popcorn, etc... (lots of good movies out there at the moment it seems)
- Buy a boardgame
- Thai take-away
- Go to a gig/ concert/ sports game
- Buy yourself some creative stuff like paints and a canvas and create something
- Travel to a new town
- Try a drink you have never tried before (alcoholic or non-alcoholic)
- Invite a friend to (or out to) dinner/ lunch/ coffee/ cinema/ gig etc...
- Fly a kite
- Swim in the cold sea
- Learn a song
- Sign up for a self defence/ martial arts class e.g. MMA in 90 days
- Get your car valeted or better yet valet it yourself

 

Dating apps, sex is who you are
I opened 2 dating apps yesterday and today. I thought it was going to be a waste of time or reduce my mental capacity to be back at dating.

But I find veey revealing things about myself. Dealing with girls and sex shows me of what I'm really made of, if I'm able to see beyond appearances if my mind is attached or not to the superficial aspects of reality. If I can see what a woman is beyond her looks even beyond her words that is a calm mind a penetrating mind.

Sometimes life looks like 3d porn, dating apps is full of sex. There are regular girls, strange girls, damaged girls or simply you are incompatible with the person you are talking with.

I realiced that how a person deals with sex is how a person acts and thinks. It's your character and your mental evolution. How you deal with sex and pleasure is who you truly are.

If you are an animal at sex you are in a way an animal or if an addict you are more like a zombie. If you are a rapist you are demon like. If you are nebulous about sex you have some degree of stupidity which is going to be reflected in all areas of your life.

 

day 18