The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 4 - Relapsed

I've been home alone all day, I couldn't go out for my usual walk because my sister has my keys so I wouldn't have been able to let myself back in the house. I got ideas on how to get around my blocker (I won't say how since it may trigger some people that read this) but just that idea was enough to give me a pretty strong urge immediately. Luckily, I didn't bypass the blocker but I did find a website that hadn't been blocked yet. This urge was honestly very manageable but I just gave into it because of my current emotional state, I wasn't feeling great when the urge started so even though I had it pretty much completely under control I just gave into it. I just need get into the habit of using the list of distractions that I made for these kinds of situations.

 

Day 39! Still taking it all one day at a time. Need to be more active here though.

 

Start of day 4!

 

Respect

 

Makes sense alright man - get the hell out of dodge and move on - it is clear from how you articulate the post above that you are worth way more than she deserves - seek to appreciate the worth of who you are from within (being single affords you that opportunity at least for now)

 

Thanks for the response. Yeah, I have no plans to chase her around. If she comes crawling back (which I suspect she will) then I will have to have the guts to end it. She has broken my heart so many times that she has to be like the #1 toxic person I can think of. I've been doing super well lately even despite how screwed up things are getting where I live and the thing that's gotten me down again has often been relating to her. The drama cycle will never end until I get rid of her and learn to keep girls like her out of my life.

 

Thanks man - just did the first module of Purity is Possible - very very good!

It contains this gem:

 

Looking forward to hear how you rewarded yourself!

 

Checking in friends
added some slow cook chicken to my diet today and had some urges afterwards, which are actually more attributable to a mountain of tasks I had to do - got the tasks done and now the urges are gone - so yet again I have an ingrained decades old habit of using pleasure to avoid responsibility - being mindful of the task is the key and if it is too much, as per the advice from @RiseToGreatness, just take a break from it and come back to it later

 

Vasectomy up date, Dating, nymphos
I just went to my presurgical appointment and I'm approved for vasectomy, I have no kids and I don't want to. It's schedule for next Saturday at 8+00hrs.

Some really good looking girls contacted me on the dating apps and purely for sex, some are models. I mean beauty sometimes cloud my thinking. They sent me naked videos but I refrained to go further.

I'm seeing this 19 years old girl in an hour, beautiful and a good girl. I talked to her yesterday night on a dating up, she is very sweet and has good energy. We seem very compatiblem

Today will be my 1 month anniversary with my ex, she keeps calling me but I blocked her I'll say she is one of those damaged, really really hot crazy girls. I most say beauty it's been my weakness that and good sex.

But I just survived two crazy hot Girls, some men never come back alive after that. So I learned my lesson. Don't let beauty trick you or it'll destroy you.

 

Day 1.

 

Day 1

 

Thank you, brother!

Thank you, brother! Yes, indeed it is very important for us as addicts. We will all make it my friend !

 

Day 4

Today feels good- I've meditated, prayed, and fixed a good lunch for myself. I need to get back to work in the next ten minutes, though.

I'm really trying to uproot some bad mental habits. I'll try to post more about how that's going.

 

479 days

 

Day 269

 

46 days
This time I'll make it to the 90

Happy birthday and congratulations @Redemptionisrequired !

 

Day 7 finished!

this was a busy day. Got lucky with my wife. Went to K1 practice, on monday I went to BJJ, so now I can say that I practice MMA

I am planning to wake up tomorow as an Uruk-Hai.

44 days without porn

 

Day 10 complete!

Spent a couple hours on the phone catching up with a friend, plus I went running earlier today, so I am too tired for a very serious post. I'm becoming aware of an increased number of, let's call them potential urges, floating around the edge of my consciousness. The sooner I can turn them away, the better. I can't allow them any space at all.

Pope St. Leo the Great, pray for us!