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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Day 8 completed, Uruk once again!
Day 259 no PMO. I volunteered at the church yesterday and that always puts me in a good mood. The boss at church also asked me to do a more important job so I’m excited to get started on that soon. Most of the jobs at my church are fairly easy because they need untrained people to perform the jobs. I have been searching for someone to give me a “hard” job for a while because I feel I have so much more to offer than the easy jobs they normally give me. Great day overall. No urges. I have been eating lots of junk food over the last week or so and I need to get that under control. My weight is gradually climbing which will eventually mess up my self esteem which could eventually contribute to a relapse in PMO so I need to get that under control. Have a great day everyone.
Being vegan won't give you super powers
Day 8, uruk-hay. Spell of porn really decreased.
Nazgûl again, the discipline and the determination are simply not there at the moment. Otherwise, life is not too bad, things are progressing slowly but steady.
Day 0 - Nazgûl again
I messed up big time last night. Started viewing at 9PM and did not stop until around 11:30PM. It ended with PMO to P-subs, but still, the moment sucked. I have this rule on no devices after 8PM for a reason, but I was talking to my best friend until 8:30PM on the phone and so I did not put them away when the alarm went off. Well, ready to go again. NNN does not have to be a waste though, I can still get 22 days out of it.
I intended to shower and journal last night, but instead I PMO'd. Well, all I can do is improve. I suppose all we really can do is to fail forward. If we make an improvement each time we relapse, etc, we will be so much better off.
Nothing much else to say.
492 days high king
561 days semen retention
Day 19 - Hobbit
Celebrated my birthday this weekend! Meant to post at least once but didn’t get around to it. Had Korean corn dogs for the first time with a group of friends Saturday night, they were delicious. One of my friends brought cupcakes as well. I intentionally ate less earlier in the day to make up for the extra calories, but I still ate too much lol. We watched a fandub of the game Until Dawn on YouTube which was super fun. Yesterday I spent a lot of the day reading, I’m still on The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. I’m chipping away at it, day by day.
I had the strongest urge to MO last night. I was in bed already, and there wasn’t any buildup, it was immediate and strong. Something about birthdays and holidays always makes me melancholic. This time last year I was in a depression that was spiraling downward, mostly because of a shitty work situation. I’m feeling a bit better this morning, still going to have to deal with my annoying coworker today, but I’m happy to have a job now that doesn’t stress me the fuck out. I just gotta focus on my work and get done what I can get done. Today will be a good day. Today will be a bad day. It’s all in how you look at it.
Please send prayers as I battle more urges in the next few days, I think it’s going to be rough for a while. Going to try to get back on track with eating healthy and exercising daily, this weekend’s celebrations threw me off. Much love brothers, hope you’re day is good
well, if you can´t get in touch here, then try to be accountable elsewhere. don´t forget daily accountability brother, it´s crucial in the reboot process.
You´re doing great brother!! Keep going!!!!
you have my prayers
and some tips
Checking in Fellowship!!
Well, after my drunkness yesterday, i´m not that out of shape, fatigue and demotivation is here, social anxiety is higher also, but all is manageable, not strong or oppressive. i think this is mostly due to the wim hof method (cold showers/ breathing method) that i´m doing daily. otherwise i would be a total mess right now.
anyways, i reflect upon what happened and naturally it was not good for me. i think everytime that i will face a social event (with alcohol and sweets) i will prepare myself, do a little role-play and visualization, on what to expect and what to do. the goal is sometimes to go totally sober, and other times, depending on the ocasion, allow some booze and sugar, but always under control.
i think i have difficulties saying "no" to people. they know i´m a party man, they start offering booze and food, and my self-control breaks apart. for me it´s far more difficult to say "no" to people, than to resist the actual substance.
I have to improve on that aspect, until the next challenge.
Thak you for your support brothers. Means a lot.
Let´s get going. One day at a time
Day 22 on my path of reboot.
Thanks @RiseToGreatness! This resonates, perhaps because being unable to say No to others is rooted in seeking approval from others. The Stoics have some really good stuff on this, e.g. :
Today is the first day in 7 days that the deep dark rings under my eyes, from the last relapse, went away
This week will be a low dopamine week, which I will counteract with cold water dips in the sea
Thanks for the video, very useful, especially comment on the need for 18-24 months to properly re-wire. Really need to review this again at the end of every month.