The Lord of the Rings Challenge

I understand insomnia all too well, I was hit by it very hard at the beginning of the journey. It took me quite a bit of time to overcome it and it would resurface a few times after that. As our brothers have mentioned, stay clear from any caffeine or stimulation at night. So no TV/scrolling on your phone/exercise and definitely no cold walks haha, that will wake you up. If you are to exercise at night, I would suggest very light static stretches. To release tension.

What I did first, was download a ton of guided meditations for insomnia. These last 2+ hours, I would play them and follow along to try to get back to sleep. It wasn't the best, I became dependant on that. 5 months ago I was ready and ditched my phone for good. It took a bit of time, but I would fall asleep normally again. If I were to stay awake in bed, I would get up, sit on the couch and meditate for 30 mins, sometimes more and then go back in my bed and focus on my breath only. Do not ruminate, if mental chatter arises interrupt it and bring your attention back to the breath. Another way is to gently count backwards from 1000 or even 10 000. I've done this a few time. Establish a bed time routine.

You need to teach your body that your bed is for sleep (and sex with your wife). Perhaps going to meditate in a chair near your room, this way you won't be tempted to open the TV and surf.

I hope this was helpful brother!

 

Day 294

 

8 days >> Uruk – Hai (You feel stronger and faster but you´re still a slave of PMO evil. A desire arises to break free from it´s chains)

 

Day 9

Really still in brain fog just wanting to sleep and laze around kinda mode. I had a big stretch of days off, so I got away with it. Somehow I'm okay with it... Before I was annoyed to not be reaping the benefits I was getting at the height of nofap for me, but I'm in a different spot now.

I'm back at work with a morning shift tomorrow, so I'll have to be out of the house pretty early. I hope to add getting up early back into the routine. It'll end up being a gradual scale up this month I think.

 

Day 7 finished

 

8 days, uruk-hai.

This first week has been harder than other first weeks on this journey, I think. One of the things that has required the most willpower was to abstain from fishing. I admit that I have come across some provocative images online.

For instance, I've been getting to know a new girl which I looked up online and her insta and blog contain some slightly provocative images. In a weaker state, this would have caused a relapse but I feel stronger now and believe that I have the power to overcome temptations. One of the things that has helped is to see beyond her looks, focus on her personality, what her parents are like (I have met them as well), how she will mature with age, etc. That makes her looks less interesting, her character more interesting and the urges less intense when I see an image of her

 

Orc Day 2

 

585

 

Day 88! Had a dream last night! I dreamed o beying in front of a new workplace and talked with people from there! A woman came that I talked to and told me she wants to have my babies! I told her that I responded that is good and I can do that only after I do what I have to do! I enjoyed this visit, for this time, I was composed enough to not urge towards doing something but conscious enough to know that I have a cross to bear first.
I am curious if these dreams will intensify with more work I put or if they will change their nature to something else. Only God can tell!

 

Day 287 no PMO. Took a cold shower and worked out yesterday and my nook is much better.

 

Second day as a Nazgul

 

Checking in day 22. Had an hour ride on the push bike-hands and head were freezing to the pain, at some point put my hands into the jacket pockets and drove without using hands to stop the pain, but the journey was good and worthy going cold-got the Lembas bread !

 

Heading into day 11. There are a couple devices where I'm staying that are unprotected but as long as I don't spend time in the room with those, I should be able to avoid those triggers. Any time I'm in that room I must keep my guard up and remember I can't recover alone. I guess it's an opportunity for a little bit of cue-exposure therapy.

 

I was fishing badly for around 10 minutes today, I basically just withdrew from the activity. Saw some pictures that was a bit triggering, although maybe not pornographic (I don't even know where to draw the line). Thought I could come and post here to recall my accountability and redirect myself to stay on the path. Hope to make it through the day. Soon I will finish work and then I will leave my apartment as fast as possible (working from home today, which is a trigger in itself because work can feel extremely boring and unfulfilling sometimes...).

 

Day 15!
I'm a hobbit now, starting the journey to destroy the porn ring!

 

Check in Day 61.

 

Day 4! Was a pretty busy weekend but that ended up being a good thing. Less time spent alone means less chance of a relapse. I went to a basketball game with my friend for her birthday, then later we celebrated with a group. We got some food, chilled, and watched a Harry Potter movie. The next day was Sunday, so I went over to my buddies, sat on his couch, and spent the whole day watching football and playing Breath of the Wild with friends. They were all smoking weed, but I declined, as last time I got high I had a relapse. Urges are still here, but much lower than they were before my last relapse. It's just a game of avoiding triggers and keeping myself busy. It is finals week here, and there is already too much to do, so I'm not extremely worried. The only thing I worry about is a potential stress-based relapse, but as long as I get my work taken care of, we should be all good. Excited to keep moving forward and soon become an Uruk-hai!