The Lord of the Rings Challenge

back to day 3
i got a moment of weakness but i will not give up so easly

 

Day 125!

God helps me every time to not fall!

Yesterday I got an urge but with his help all ended in just thoughts.

The fight it's not only on the flesh, it's also spiritual

 

Day 297

 

11 days

Congratulations @Prophet Moonstruck !!

Now comes the time where I'm manic for weeks and have difficulties to calm myself. That's acually something that could lead to a relapse: "You have to PMO sometimes to stay calm"

Anyway, since three days I'm doing the Chenrezig practice: https://www.karmapa.org/chenresig-karma-change-covid-teaching/
This is some deep shit. If my gf knew how deep I'm into Tibetan Buddhism she would probably leave me. Or manipulate me out of it. Next thing to do is to learn Tibetan.

 

Day 10 done.

I succesfully didn’t look at arousing pictures volunterely (got a popup commersial with boobs (which would be a porn picture), but I closed it asap).

 

Day 21 - Hobbit, The village of Bree

 

Day 12

Got up a bit earlier today. Did some cleaning too and decided to stop eating all the processed junk I've been eating lately. I was eating a lot better for awhile, but really been letting myself eat a lot of chocolate bars, ramen noodles etc. and I don't think that's helping anything.

 

Day 2

 

Day 290 no PMO. I’m here every morning at 5am reading all your posts. I start ever day like this. Most days go smoothly when I start the day with all your posts. Thanks for posting everyone. Know that weather you are doing good yourself or not so good that others are learning from your posts and it’s helping the group as a whole. We can all beat this thing if we continue to work together.

 

Relapse

 

Be merciful with yourself. Try to remember this feeling of hollowness. It will make it easier next time. Never surrender!

 

Day 9
Today I woke up missing PMO. It show that I'm certainly an addict. How come can I miss something that is bad for me?
Anyways, let's keep going. The only way out of it is through those feelings.

 

I'm no longer my past, my past does not concern me. I'm no longer my future, my future is not mine to have. All i'm is today, today is a gift, today is present; i'm this minute, this hour. I'm not going to NoFap 90 days now, instead, i'm going to NoFap this single day.

 

The pmo gave you an illusion of the eternal pleasure which is available through Jesus and Faith only, but you keep clinging to illusion and side effect of the Faith in the Truth as we all do, for unless we are born of 'water and spirit' we are unable to know the Truth...Please brothers if you have a church near you and are feeling the same way just trust me and go for Holy Mass today or at the first available opportunity and after it try to see where are those feelings to pmo you had before...

 

Not 'going' really but -You are

 

Found an interesting article yesterday , which might be beneficial:
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...u-can-also-do-it-a-testimony-and-keys.254184/

 

588

 

Day 4
No big urges.

I felt anxious and was sensorial overloaded - autistic/asperger's thing. I am still learning how to deal with these issues once I was diagnosed at 28. If I force myself too much when stressed, I usually colapse and the situation goes on for days. On the other hand, if I simply give up, I lose time. I am a student and have a long way to go to become the great professional I want to be - and have already lost so much time. I want to be financially free from my father. I believe it will help me a lot emotionally. So I am in seek of balance when I have y crises - don't push myself to hard that I may not colapse, but don't stay too lazy, get up fast after the fall. Controling that is key to controling PMO urges. These health issues usually make me vulnerable.

So yesterday I went to the doctor in the morning, and after coming home, being stressed as said, I watched Loki on Disney+, sang some songs with my guitar and felt good, recovered myself. Went to bed early. Didn't go to gym, but practiced Yoga. Today I'm coming back to normal rotine and let us see how it goes.

Still an orc. A singing one. Lucky neighboors!

 

Day 14 - I'm hoping to be more forgiving and kind to those around me today as I felt short-tempered and resentful yesterday. I'm struggling between forming an adult identity with my parents who care deeply for me, maintaining autonomy, and also respecting and honoring them. I've had codependent/people-pleasing tendencies for most of my life so this is something I reflect on a lot. I hope today to continue to acknowledge and express my needs and wants while honoring and respecting those around me today. I won't turn to porn to escape this necessary growth, I will sit with the uncomfortable feelings, and I will work through them in a healthy way.

 

relapsed. I need to get back to the basics:

"Count-the-breath"-meditation 3x/day
Cold showers
No sugar
No caffeine
No video games
Not staring at girls in public

I will count and post the days for all of these challenges here until I've destroyed the ring. May these additional challenges help me on this journey.