The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Fighting the porn addiction is a process. It's not one-off accomplishment. 16 days is something not to be sneezed at. I've NEVEr been clean so long as far as keep my journal as for at least 5-6 years. Maybe once I was close to that. Don't beat yourself up for one-off failure. Dust yourself up and start over. And be damn sure that you will repeat the process million of times if necessary. Don't rely on porn blockers on your phone or anywhere. There's only one porn blocker that really works and it is already installed in your head but you must activate it and don't be hard on yourself it sometimes malfunction but don't let it do it. It is YOU who controls it.

 

Yes, it definitely is one part to a broken life... I have found now that I tie a lot of good habits to nofap and if I am not actively doing nofap I won't do these things. I feel very drained, just trying to get trough a day at a time and slowly rebuild myself.

 

Tomorrow it will be 2 days instead of one. And then 3 days ... Keep going Talz ... and stop whining. This is your addicted demon talk not real you.

 

Day 1: Orc (The spell of porn is strong in you)

Wretched dark lord still has his claws in me, but I've made it through the first day and became an Orc.

 

Checking in day 46.Feel stuck in life and don't see any progress but days without pmo...Spending hours watching youtube and overeating(29.12.2021 21.31)

No it's not natural but a product of our mind's habitual dwelling on pmo as a magical problem escaping button, it's a state of expectation-craving for lust, it's energy that makes you excited which you believe can only be calmed down by engaging in lust, and we all know the consequences of engaging in it on emotional, mental and physical levels.It's not to supress but to express and strengthen, and the more you engage the more lust writes-slave on your brain ,the stronger its hold on you becomes. You need White wizard to drive out the Saruman .

 

Day 146 (forgot to post yesterday)

Just had a dream were I watched P... In the dream it was the second time I watched without releasing. I felt bad af, I knew even tho I managed to stop before the end I had watched P already. At that rate, I was going to be a slave again. After I woke up, for a few seconds I started to think how to fix this situation untill I finally realised it was just a dream...

By the way it's been like a month already without any wet dreams... I should have 2 - 3 a month. I suspect the reason is cold showers.
(Don't know if this is good or bad)

 

The journey is just 500 little steps. I'm glad to be back at Orc. I will plug away and keep rising back up through the ranks.

 

Hey! Please notice that YouTube and eating are dopamine producers, they might become, and probably did already, a P substitute to get dopamine shots.
Excess of (or addiction to) dopamine makes you feel hollow, it takes willpower and strength from you.
You know you should stop watching YouTube and overeating, I would do this carefully tho. Because your brain it's going to ask you for dopamine by watching P.

 

You have to believe to be saved from the slavery to sin. You've got to have faith in being White wizard here and now not after 499days later and act out of it. I think another name is the self image. If you see yourself and think about yourself as a perpetual looser in endless cycles of stagnation and relapses then you will stay there indefinitely until you stop seeing yourself and thinking about yourself as something at the bottom. To rise you have to be at the top from the beginning by cultivating whatever you want to call it -either your Faith or your self-image.

 

All in perfect timing brother !...and I believe in God enough to not do this filth in His presence.
There are beautiful movies on youtube, which I heartily recommend you to watch. Like the one I'm watching at the moment:

 

Day 311 no PMO. All good.

 

Day 3

 

Check in day 94

 

Congratulations to my fellow Dwarf brother!

 

Checking in.

I've spent a week with my family and was able to hold my temper, did not had any angry outburst at them. I had some difficult times before because i would become angry at minor disagreements, but this year was different. Thank God.

Looking forward to the new year's eve, i'm going to sleep early and wake-up early ready to work on my projects from day 1.

 

Day 147!

 

Yes, a true rebooter. I'm a proud of my pathetic progress Sense of humour helps when you are deep in sh..