The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 16

Today I started feeling some urges. I guess that this shows some improvement, as those first urges after the chaser effect are coming later and later. And I did something nice today, which helped me to get my mind right where it should be: in a humble mindset. I read my old postings here. I went through some tough relapses but also through some awsome feelings in streaks. I'm totally sure of what I want, and that's what I going to go for!

LEZ DESTROY THAT DAMN RING BOIZ!

 

Day 1 complete.

Feeling tired and sluggish as I haven't been able to go running in a few days thanks to cold snowy weather. Thinking about how many times I've fallen and how many times I've picked myself back up can seem exhausting, but I'm happy to still be here. PMO won't get the final say no matter how much energy and effort are required to shut it down.

@Slider8 I know that God sees what I do in secret even when I think that no one else sees me. I am aware of His presence with me when I am struggling and when I relapse; I don't choose to give in just because I think I am keeping it secret. My problem is not being able to call upon God with enough conviction, or do anything else required, to stop myself from relapsing even when I don't want to. I never want to give in, but I have not found anything that can make me stop. If this demonstrates a lack of trust and faith in God on my part, then I beg Him to "help my unbelief" and give me more.

Believe in yourself! It's no accident that you reached 103 days. With support from God and your friends here, you can continue to succeed.

From what I've read, it's not so much that fear causes urges as that fear makes it harder to face urges. This is part of a technique called reframing from the website Purity Is Possible. When we are afraid of urges, it teaches our brains (specifically the amygdala) that urges are a threat; they need to be eliminated as quickly as possible. And like it or not, the fastest, most surefire way to get rid of an urge is by giving in. However, it's only a temporary solution, and by giving in we reinforce the concept in our brains that relapsing is the proper way to handle that scary threat of an urge. Rather, we need to focus on seeing urges (but not relapsing!) as a good thing: something that makes us stronger by conquering it, something that gives us the opportunity to practice everything we learn here.

 

Day 26.

Doing good, no phishing, minor sexual thoughts.

 

DAY 3.
Congrats on your day one. Thank you for the explanation about the mechanism of urges. Yet, I learned it the hard way and someone on the forum wrote: Trying to persuade your brain with logical arguments is like talking to a perverted idiot.
So far I've been handling my urges by remembering the YouTube clip Dead Porn Stars Memorial thanks to the Host of this Challenge and one of his posts that was a wake-up call for me. I was going to take this challenge by fighting for a day. That was fallacious thinking devised by my addicted mind. After winning each day I was prone to relapse by seeking an award. When there is no P stimulation - MO doesn't occur in my case. I'm going strong but I keep my wits about me.
Thanks you all for supporting me and encouragment. As for @Anas778, I really respect your streak and hope to get to the point where you are.

 

Day 21

 

Day 8
(No sexual Thoughts/Fantasy/ Voluntary Self Arousal/ Viewing any Triggering content)

Conversation with Mother. I was feeling extremely pressured about marriage yesterday, and in a conversation with Dad, he numerously hinted on settling down, which I don't want. I don't want my freedom to be taken, especially not after looking around and understanding what a grown ass women is capable of. Have you any idea, how masculine a women tends to get as she gets older? Imagine being subject to a bond for forever to such a individual. I prefer to walk alone rather than be held down to a women who can't stay feminine. Esp, I've analyzed a hell lot to conclude, women in my region tends to get very very masculine as she gets older. Finding someone who's easy going and who'll remain feminine, is one heck of a task.
I'm feeling eased after a conversation with my mother, and her understanding my point. No emotions talk. I literally told her, I'll not settle. But I'll be there for her and Dad in their sickness and death. I'll be their to take give them the last rites. Well, as cold as she is, she calmly says, fine. That's good enough. Compare and had I had this convo with my dad, he'd have gone on an emotional outburst, "for me speaking of death so casulally".

 

I'm in! Nazgûl Day 0

 

Welcome on the journey.

 

The morning of the second day.

I feel hope raising again, I’m still afraid of always repeating my past mistakes and never making it to the rank of Elf.

But it is only day two and now is maybe not the time to worry about how I would deal with it. For today, I just hope that I’ll go to the gym and study enough.

Good luck everyone.

 

You need to learn to trust yourself and find a really strong reason not to relapse.

 

checkin in day 3 !!
Yesterday I felt kinda ill - wasnt able to do much but still enough its ok - Im going to slow down a bit, so that I can give more next week! Urges went high yesterday as there was a scene in a series. But I handled to observe them and say - not now Nazzi (give the urge a face - its the Nazgul - its ok he is there but I dont need to come with him or follow his advice) Im rly happy that I was able to resist. Have a nice day and stay strong evrybody!

 

Yesterday I hoped to do more as well. I guess the surges of energy are temporary. But I managed to survive. Keep up the good work!

 

Check in sunday

 

Day 321 no PMO. I’m on the trip with my buddies. No urges at all yesterday and my buddy is sleeping in the bed a few feet away so I couldn’t PMO even if I wanted to. I did however eat more garbage yesterday than I have in a several months. My heartburn yesterday was awful and I woke up choking on my own acid. I need to eat better today.

 

Check in day 104
Thanks guys for your supports I really appreciate it
Unfortunately I peek little porn but I didn't do
Masturbation does this called relapse?

 

I wouldn't count it. You're still good. You showed restraint. No MO. 104-day streak saved, just don't repeat that. Yet I'm not the expert. Be disciplined.

 

Around day 10... almost slipped as the Sunday started to set in...nothing that a cold shower couldn't fix

 

I had a similar incident last year, and unfortunately it was the seed that grew into a full relapse. The guidelines of this challenge are: no porn, no masturbation, no edging - and obviously no orgasm.

I would encourage you to keep yourself accountable for your own actions, @Slider8 called me out on my behaviour about a year ago and my mentality around porn wouldn't have changed without him. Porn is the road to a MO-relapse, and if we are on NoFap to free ourselves from PMO then we must be honest with ourselves when we cross a line.

 

What defines relapse or not is the intention behind the action. If you were watching a TV series and out of nothing a sex scene appeared and you quickly closed your eyes or skipped the scene, it would not count as a relapse. If you were searching for P, went in, saw the scene and then got out, the intention behind it was to see P, and you did saw, this is a relapse.

Be mindful, always.

Strenght & Honor!

 

This is my personal opinion:
@Anas778 you should decide by yourself.
You have a 104-day streak. Splendid. I've never had one like that. If you managed to accomplish it once, you're gonna do it again. Imagine you accomplish 365 in two streaks instead of one. What's the difference? It shows how you grew during this challenge. And this challenge is just a game to make this journey more enjoyable. It's not a race. If it was a race, I would have to give up already because I have no chance of being the first. The overall goal of beating the addiction is all that counts.
As for me, in my life, I believe I've managed to stop myself from MO after watching P only once, so I consider it quite a feat if you managed to stop. I know that P triggers MO and it's crucial to avoid P at all cost. But I guess it's M that the most serious issue and O that results from that and keeps us imprisoned in this addiction.