The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Congratulations man!

 

Day 20
With rain and fog you enter the village of Bree.

 

Checking in day 69. All good, feel tired after a busy day and falling asleep.

 

Day 2

I got up at 5:30 am today and it feels great. I've been much more productive. Still have to stay on the ball.

Today- cold shower, prayer, meditation; and a bit of exercise as I missed my bus and had to walk to campus

 

Back to Nazgul I go.

 

Checking in. Looking forward to graduating from Orc soon...

 

Day 21

Urges are becoming more prevalent through the day - last night’s dreams were unhelpful and didn’t set me off for a good start to the day.

I abhor the idea of relapsing but the dopamine-seeking part of my brain is telling me to give in, I must make sure I’m exercising regularly so that I spend all my energy before urges can take hold.

 

Day 4. Do not think and avoid images, sites, etc

 

Day 341

 

Day 169

 

Restarting again on Day one

 

Back to Day 0 again. I'm happy that I was able to avoid any sort of fishing or peeking behavior. No porn use at all for me this time, just MO. A Pyrrhic victory at best, but it's something. I will use those lessons and next time avoid the trap of fantasizing as well.

Hmm, good point. I've never heard an argument like that before. Even if God is omnipresent and hears us right where we are, our prayers still rise up to heaven (Psalm 141, Rev 5). If heaven is where the saints are, then our prayers should be able to reach them too.

 

Day 39 completed!

Another work week complete. I had some stress but learned a lot. No phishing, no uneccessary looking at girls profiles. I realy feel I can get rid of addiction. The moment of throuth could be a big arguement with my wife, it’s when I am most keen to relapse.

Prayers rising up to god could be a metaphor meaning that the prayer was accepted by God. Or you could be right

P.S. I also had a time with a lot of relapses like yours, that were not like full relapses. And during that time I learned the inportance of being faithful to the reset in small things, like not looking at other girls or not allowing your thoughts to wonder in the wrong direction.

 

Checking in, day 17.

Still flatlining but think it might be returning to normal soon.

 

1/500

 

Even though I relapse on MO the fact that not relapsing on P, helps that the behavior is less compulsive and definitely not daily. This is something that at least is helping me.

 

Checking in day 4!

 

day check
Reaching the 360 days this year.

 

New Milestone for me! I am now an Elf!

Day 30

 

Day 334 no PMO. Good day yesterday. Got a lot of work done. Closed up my accounting books for 2021 so that was a big stress release. As I mentioned I have been reading / listening to the book Every Man’s Battle. Yesterday I was listening to it in the car and forgot to turn it off. When we went back out later in the evening the book started playing with my wife and kids in the car. My wife asked what that was and I tried to simply tell her the title. She kept pushing so I said it was a self help book. I was telling the truth but obviously omitting the fact that it is about PMO. She is aware of my problems with PMO but has not asked me about it In years. I think she wants to believe I have this thing “all figured out”. Anyway… I feel I have to sneak around to do my recovery work until this thing is years behind me because that is what she already thinks. The whole thing sucks. I wish women could be more accepting that this is a problem that a lot of guys have (probably most guys) and not judge us so harshly. We are the ones trying to stop after all while most don’t even think it’s a problem. I just wish I could fast forward to where this was all behind me. One day I hope.