Day 2 I got up at 5:30 am today and it feels great. I've been much more productive. Still have to stay on the ball. Today- cold shower, prayer, meditation; and a bit of exercise as I missed my bus and had to walk to campus
Day 21 Urges are becoming more prevalent through the day - last night’s dreams were unhelpful and didn’t set me off for a good start to the day. I abhor the idea of relapsing but the dopamine-seeking part of my brain is telling me to give in, I must make sure I’m exercising regularly so that I spend all my energy before urges can take hold.
Back to Day 0 again. I'm happy that I was able to avoid any sort of fishing or peeking behavior. No porn use at all for me this time, just MO. A Pyrrhic victory at best, but it's something. I will use those lessons and next time avoid the trap of fantasizing as well. Hmm, good point. I've never heard an argument like that before. Even if God is omnipresent and hears us right where we are, our prayers still rise up to heaven (Psalm 141, Rev 5). If heaven is where the saints are, then our prayers should be able to reach them too.
Day 39 completed! Another work week complete. I had some stress but learned a lot. No phishing, no uneccessary looking at girls profiles. I realy feel I can get rid of addiction. The moment of throuth could be a big arguement with my wife, it’s when I am most keen to relapse. Prayers rising up to god could be a metaphor meaning that the prayer was accepted by God. Or you could be right P.S. I also had a time with a lot of relapses like yours, that were not like full relapses. And during that time I learned the inportance of being faithful to the reset in small things, like not looking at other girls or not allowing your thoughts to wonder in the wrong direction.
Even though I relapse on MO the fact that not relapsing on P, helps that the behavior is less compulsive and definitely not daily. This is something that at least is helping me.
