The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 173

I think I have a little body/workout "obsession". I'm sure I traded the habits of PMO, tv series, videogames, etc, for the habit of working out and fitness culture...
I admit that I might have a problem but right now it's one of my biggest weapons to fight PMO and bad dopamine sources.

 

Another day 0 my Middle-Earth friends. This time the one ring will have to try extra hard to stop me.

 

Day 43 complete.

First time in a long time I was alone in my home. I didn’t jave an urge to M or watch P, but I had an urge to pull out my dick and start swinging. It’s a strange urge, it comes frome the same root as MO.
I am not looking at girls profiles or phishing, but I want to go further and remove thoughts about sex in my head, they are so frequent. It’s hard to do. Does any one have any good material, on removing unwaned thoughts?

 

I went through that same thing with a girl on Snapchat a bit over a year ago. I didn't have any friends and wasn't doing much with my life. She would eat up my attention (and the attention of tons of other guys I'm sure). It's a sickness all in itself that social media girl thing... I ended up just cutting her off randomly after she started getting kinda rude with me. Really glad I don't use Snapchat anymore honestly.

 

Welcome back brother! I was wondering where you were.

 

It’s great you are making progress in this battle because the further you distance yourself from this unhealthy habit, the more in control you will be of your emotions. Wishing you the best and here for you on this journey!

 

Day 345

 

It just means that you are one of the ones doing the work. As long as you don't wear your body out to the point of damaging it (I've done that) then it probably isn't a problem.

 

Day 1

 

Day 2 - Orc,
The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

 

Day 3

Not an interesting day, but I’m still in the game and that’s what matters.

I went on a mall mission to get socks so I’ll be better prepared when I start walking again. I think my feet are getting a bit better, but my left heel really doesn't like being moved certain ways. I got a six pack (used to be beer, now I’m a sock guy) of these generic looking black ones. The stats are as follows:

• Deep heel construction provides excellent fit and prevents slippage
• Arch band for secure fit
• Mesh venting for breathability
• Comfort toe seam
• Cushioned sole for comfort and absorbency
• Comfort top stays up

The materials consist of: 51% Polyester, 45% Cotton, 2% Nylon, 2% Spandex

They’re nothing fancy, but they’ll get the job done well enough I expect.

I stopped to grab a grandpa burger at A&W in the food court. I’m trying to eat out a lot less than I used to, but I was hungry and really needed to get some protein in me after working out earlier in the day. Speaking of which I was able to reach my push-up goal again this time, so some strength is coming back.

It looked like this girl was giving me eyes on the bus. I didn’t do anything though of course… Whatever, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now I could probably do without lust that has no emotion attached to it anyway. My porn induced erectile dysfunction is so bad anyway that I probably couldn't do anything even if I tried.

I’m glad I got out a bit and got the socks like I said I was going to. I also did laundry as I’d like to do it every Tuesday. I like it when I actually do what I say I’m going to do. Tomorrow I will read over my previous entries and make sure I am doing all I can!

I still listened to “Your Brain on Porn” today, but as I can’t walk much I just laid on the bed and listened. I ended up falling asleep! I fall asleep so much easier than I once did. Still finished it though. I might try switching to a different audio tomorrow as I’ve listened to “Your Brain on Porn” a number of times now. I will go back though as I don’t feel I’ve gotten all I can from it yet.

My psoriasis seems to be gradually getting better. I’ve been showering extra and making sure I wash my face. It seems to be helping as my skin feels less dry and tight and the flaking is starting to reduce.

I better get to my affirmations now. I don’t really wanna do it, but I need it to become habit. Remember that you don’t need porn!

 

Day 5.

Purposeful and directed.

This is why I isolate myself. I just cant stand the energy of other people. A friend came over and laid around whole day. He bending over that phone and watching crap on facebook TV and what not, that got on my nerve. it's incredibly hard to find someone who you relate to, and when you don't there's no choice but to cut everybody. Isolation however has it's own price. I think I'm good on my own.

 

1 day >> Orc

 

Checking in... I'm holding strong.

I'm having a minor issue, would like to know if you guys had it as well: i'm sexualizing every "attractive" woman i see, and i don't like it, specially when i'm at the gym... I don't get boners from just looking and stuff but my mind start to race when those indiscreet women start squatin' with their backs turned to me, i find it very disturbing!!! Do you guys have some strategies to stop sexualizing random women you see?

 

Day 25 and 26

 

Day 338 no PMO. Started the day with a cold shower and then did a lot of outdoor walking. Had dinner last night with my brother and his family. Good day overall.

I’m coming up on the one year mark and it’s reminding me of my last relapse. My last lapse was when my daughter went to Softball practice and I opted to stay home alone instead of going to watch her. I was already depressed and didn’t want to have to socialize with the other parents. I stayed home and watched P and then hated myself for watching P instead of my daughter playing softball. I’m honestly still mad at myself.

 

Day check
Situation:

An attack at night, then i use the reasons to not do it to fight back , i did not play videogames so late(because the high dopamines) as we talk here and that works to avoid the situation but at the end the low battery saved me.
Staying more alert at night.
Reaching the 360 days this year.

 

5/365

 

You spend the night at the old watch tower of Amon Sul. PMO forces are lurking in the area. Day 25

 

Thank you! That's an important point. Some days I feel that I'm going to get hurt due to lack of rest. So yesterday I made a routine so I have to rest on Sundays. Being God's day, even when I was falling in PMO every week, I wouldn't dare to do it on Sundays, so it's safe.