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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Congratulations brother ! Well done!
Can't believe I'm saying this again the very next day after my last relapse but...
Day 0 - Nazgûl
Need to pull myself together and sort this shit out.
Check in for Day 10.
Today I was more stabile and also had time to really explain my finace what boarded me up the last time. I could explain the reason behind the conflict and had enough courage to really tell what I want. We have not yet made the final decision to move on, we decided to find out if all the mayor topics in our lifes are acceptable for each other or if one decision would divide our path. Decisions that we could not change, decisions that would be against our values.
So I am proud that we had a good video call today (we always call because we live 4500km apart from each other).
I am proud that we did not avoid the thought reality.
Anyway had no time to think about M and had no urges. Like the way it goes in this area.
How are you doing mates? It's been a while since I've posted. No relapse, but just focusing on staying sharp with a chaotic work schedule, as always.i'ts a good occasion to see what effects such a schedule has on the self, and let me tell you.. if you have the possibility of sleeping in at the same hour, that feels way better than not doing it. I wish you the best. Until next time, appreciate yourselves!
This really hit home for me. After talking with ex-PMO addicts and those on a journey of recovery, the more I realise that we’re never exactly ‘free’ of this addiction, instead we become equipped with the means to fight it harder each and every day.
@Red Riot I applaud you for your remarkable achievement of 500 days free from PMO, this is truly a moment to celebrate and please know that your journey and testimony will serve as inspiration for current and future members of this forum. You are right, it IS worth it, and life is all the better for it.
Brother you know that thoughts are BS...
You are absolutely free my friend, but you know what comes with that decision. Darkness will enter in your mind and soul. It will leave a mark, a feeling of hollowness it's not all you get from falling.
2 days ago I had urges you know? I didn't post this but these urges came to a "climax" where I had to decide to fall or not. I'd want you to try what I did to get free of those urges:
I went into my room and start speaking out loud to the invisible demons that were tempting me:
- Get away from me, I already rejected you!
You evil spirit, fool spirit who decided to get away from God, I won't take your path, I won't suffer like you are. Get away in name of my God, your God, Jesus. You may be strong but God is all mighty, you don't have a chance to defeat him nor me, a son of God, protected by Him. Get away from here in name of your Queen, who you hate so much but it's much grater and powerful than you are, I won't fall on your hands again.
You better shut up these thoughts you're having! Choose to be unbreakable like our colleague said up top.
Do not let these thoughts creep on you, they will become stronger by the minute if you don't take it out by it's roots. Strenght & Honor bro!
Day 5 checking in
Day 174 - end
Another day free of PMO. Growing every second, by choosing to be unbreakable.
Congratulations @Red Riot wise words my friend.
Back to being an orc. Day 1.
If it's not too extended then sometimes periods of isolation are not only healthy, but needed. I only relate to this one girl I work with, other than that others are becoming increasingly alien to me.
Maybe the old you just belonged to a different crowd?
Day 5 complete.
Posts have been a bit sporadic for this streak, trying to adjust to a new class schedule for a new semester. Haven't been getting as much sleep as I'd like, either, but so far so good. I had an urge tonight while slogging through some dull reading, but I had the grace to immediately call upon my guardian angel.
For a couple days the thought has been planted in my head to peek at this one specific thing. So far I've resisted and I hope to keep doing so. If a streak gets tarnished, then knowing my history it might as well be dead. I've been consistently lately about just making it to 7 or 8 days and then relapsing. I'm setting good habits now so that I can be strong for a few days later.
Sts. Timothy and Titus, pray for us!
Day 44 finished.
My wife is visiting her sister in the capital for a few days. It’s a good opportunitu to sleep more. Her being around always interfears with my sleeping plans. Wifes require a lot of time . I can only imagine how much time will be spent on children.
Corngratulations on reaching 70 days @ListenPaul , you came so far, now is not the time to give up
@Red Riot omg you've made it! Huge congratulations, very inspiring
The march forward is a difficult one; the march back is harder. Your butter will if anything be stretched even further. The way is forward.
Relapsed on PMO. Was peaking again and one thing led to the other. My no pmo streaks are getting longer and stronger, its the peeking habit that really needs to go away as it starts from there.
Not feeling down however, i see progress even in failure and am hopeful.
Day 0 - Nazgul,
The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr
The theme of today has been “Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai.” I sometimes enjoy turning to the wisdom of the ancients and getting a window into times long gone. I think I am often not content with the era I’m living in. It feels like a bizarre middle ground; we’re just far enough to be more removed from the natural way of things then we ever have been (and thus are becoming unhealthy), yet not far enough to be in cool futuristic times. With that being said those of bygone eras do seem to have plenty of their own follies. I suppose you must take what is useful to you and discard the rest when it comes to any text…
One thing I don’t understand about the Samurai so far as I’m listening to this audio-book is why they would want to spend their life in servitude to a lord. Moreover they seemed to have had pride in it. I have a natural hatred of authority, so I find it hard to relate and harder to respect. What do I know about life in ancient Japan though? They’d have probably cut me down! I'm sure being a Samurai took a level of discipline and dedication that I should not take light. It also seems like the book was written during an era of peace and that the author had no actual combat experience himself, but clearly longs for a time he never got to see. I actually forgot that he was supposed to be a Samurai through much of it and pictured more of a Monk. I guess it stands to reason the Samurai were in a state of decay.
I started working on a set of crypto conference videos. Even just the first one is almost 7 hours and there are at least a few of them. I was going to slack and only watch an hour and a half, but I made myself watch more. It’s really important that I understand the ecosystem in question as at this point it’s undeniable that it’s a better investment than anything else on the market. I am going to have to stop collecting what I am and go %100 into this ecosystem at this point. My main interest is passive income at this point and this seems to answer that.
I am still feeling the weight of tiredness. I think it actually might be worse today, but it seems to be an early streak thing. I do feel much more energized after eating late however. I really have to get my meal times sorted though as I need energy earlier, not later.
I want more energy so I can push myself further. Right now the goal is to get to Hobbit. I can conquer the world later, right? There is a time and a place. I must first cut the link of the chain that I am on. I will also put greater effort into finishing the conference videos if I am going to be sedentary.
I felt sad whole day. This is what relapse does.
Starting now I'm engaging in:
(No sexual Thoughts/Fantasy/ Voluntary Self Arousal/ Viewing any Triggering content)