Checking in after missing yesterday. I had a full day and didn’t get online at all. The dwarven journey continues successfully. Thank you for all of your posts. Last night I had a dream in which I broke my streak and had to report here on that failure. Thankfully it was just a dream, but the disappointment I felt at letting the fellowship down was more keen and real than I would have expected. This challenge helps!
10 days. Fun to reach double digits again, it was certainly a while ago. More urges today but no fishing so far except some bad disciplin guarding my eyes on the street (checked out a few girls). Also having some issues with fantasies but overall it's not that bad.
Day 58 Feeling a lot better today, should be in normal health tomorrow! Had an amazing day at church amongst my friends, worshipping and learning - feeling pretty good about the next stage of my life. Urges were few and far between today, did catch my eyes wandering occasionally but the annoyance it caused me was an encouragement as previously I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.
Back to the beginning. I just let my guard down and started doing things I knew would hurt me (phone in the bathroom was the tipping point, like always). I should be really sad, but I made it to 8 days, and that is still huge for me. If I could stay clean today, my ratio for February would be 50% / 50%. Not great, but still better than January. And I know that I can make even better progress in March. But “not all those who wander are lost”. So I’m starting my stride again. I think that the most important thing I learned from this relapse is that I hate it. I felt pressure and stress, and those feelings were part from life and part from simply quitting porn. And then I watched porn and from and I realized (afterwards of course) that the past couple of days were great compared to the feeling of porn fog in my head. The only solution I got from PMO was a couple of hours free from the feeling that porn itself created. @PeaceOnEarth108 I’m sorry brother, but we can do this! Tomorrow is a new day.
@newbobido “The only solution I got from PMO was acouple of hours free from the feelingthat porn itself created.” That realization. Might be the single most important factor in you starting your final road of recovery. Run with that knowledge and keep reminding yourself of that every day. Day 371 no PMO. Had a great day yesterday! Worked at church. Got my steps in (18,184). Picked up the house a bit. Weighed in this morning and only have .4 lbs to reach my goal. I’ve lost 22 lbs since 12/22/21. I’m feeling super motivated right now. Hope this high continues.
Checking in. Day 5. Still in the grip of pmo urges. I know I want to change, but my heart is not in it. I am trying the Dopamine Discipline course. Trying to empty my head of desire for pmo and fill it will goals that will improve my life. Trying to make the reboot the priority. At this point, it is just baby steps. But hopefully my heart and mind will turn away from pmo and toward the person I can become.
Checking in Fellowship Friends, Day 403 free of MO and day 12 free of porn. The rest is definitely assisting, I'm starting to feel a bit better, as is the magnesium. It's interesting, I find it hard to take the week off from exercise, as well as knowing that I plan to do an extra week of rest, after this one. As February comes to an end, I would like to touch base with some of my goals for the month. I was successful in my meditation and visualization exposure goals for this month. My goal for March, and potentially April as well, is as follows: -Meditate 20 mins as I wake up with 20 mins after work. Meditate for an additional 25 mins on my days off. -Visualization exposure remains at 5 mins, I need to increase the amount of things I include, in said visualization, to make it closer to realism. Stay strong !
