The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.

Should the Thread Title be extended?

Poll closed Jun 21, 2020.
  1. No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    18 vote(s)
    54.5%
  2. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    15 vote(s)
    45.5%
  3. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  5. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    6 vote(s)
    18.2%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Kairose

    Kairose Fapstronaut

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    First step for me was to be determined, then start to change my habits.
    My first good habit and the one I think it helped the most against PMO is working out. Why? Because you use the accumulated energy. If you don't exercise, that energy becomes an enemy instead of a friend.

    Christian tip: at the beginning it's hard to create this habit. So you should have good thoughts that help you working out even when you don't feel like it.
    In my case this thoughts were effective:
    "I want to be in good shape for love to my future gf",
    "I want to be a better version of myself",
    "I do not want to fall in PMO ever again", etc
     
  2. Anas778

    Anas778 Fapstronaut

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  3. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

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    Checking in Fellowship Friends!

    Day 409 free of MO and day 18 free of porn.

    Very strong urges this morning, I have figured out what is causing them, and it's linked with my old crush appearing in my mind. At first I found it odd, but it makes sense. The porn substitutes and even the porn video I had watched, was someone who was very similar in appearance (or at least in my mind) to that person.

    The urge itself is also coming forward because it's my mind trying to distract me (again) from work stress. As my vacation is now over, I return to work today. I have a plan of action for work, as mentioned in past posts, to focus on tackling the stress head on and overcoming it. Meditation being the key player.

    I'm also reminding myself that it is an irrational crush that I had, it's not the person I'm interested in, it's how she could potentially make me feel through a "corrupted" thought.

    I have also decided to add a reward system to my journey, this time around. Small gifts that I will purchase for myself at given checkpoints. Interestingly enough, as I was adding the first 2, my mind was lacklustre of interest and it pulling me towards urges instead. I do believe the next 2-3 weeks will have its challenging moments.

    Some more teachings from Marcus Aurelius:

    "Wipe out the imagination. Stop the pulling of the strings. Confine thyself to the present. Understand well what happens either to thee or another. Divide and distribute every object into the causal (formal) and the material. Think of thy last hour. Let the wrong which is done by a man stay there where the wrong was done. Direct thy attention to what is said. Let thy understanding enter into the things that are doing and the things which do them. "


    Stay Strong!


    18 days – PMO forces have spotted you!! With haste you use the Bucklebury Ferry to cross the Brandywine river.
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2022
  4. soggs1

    soggs1 Fapstronaut

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  5. IveWastedMyTime

    IveWastedMyTime Fapstronaut

  6. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    Checking in Fellowship!! :) Sorry for not being here yesterday.

    1 month clean, entering Rivendell :)

    rivendell 3.gif

    Good streak so far, no peeking, no touching, nothing. and maybe only 2-3 moments of hesitation. Very good streak so far. But i´m not trying to be perfect or have a perfect streak, i´m ready to accept and adapt myself if i start slidding. Accepting mistakes and learn from them, with or without relapsing, is a crucial part of the process.

    Lot´s of downfalls on the last days among our ranks. Improve your strategy my brothers, try not to repeat mistakes, as same patterns will lead to the same results. Keep what works and upgrade what doesn´t. And don´t beat yourself up, never, remember, is super important to keep self-love and self-worth above all.

    We are worthy, we have value, we are unconditionally good!

    An Elf checks out now :D ;). Have a great day Fellowship!!! And a great week ahead!!! ;) :emoji_muscle:


    New quest item ;)

    "61 days – Lady Galadriel, Princess of the Ñoldor, gives you a bow such as the Galadhrim used. Among the best bows of Middle Earth, the bow was longer and stouter than the bows of Mirkwood and it was strung with a string of elf-hair. With it went a quiver of arrows.

    Quest Item – Bow of the Galadhrim
    :emoji_bow_and_arrow:"

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Kairose

    Kairose Fapstronaut

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  8. Thanks for the feedback. Now the reason why I won't put a limit on my gaming on the weekends (for now anyways), is because I haven't done that much gaming in recent months (which is what led me to believe that something is wrong here. And again, I thought since the weekends is my time to unwind from work, I should take it easy on myself. I mean what's the point of bettering yourself, if all you're going to do is make yourself suffer? Kinda takes the wind out of that particular sail. Anyways, I do appreciate the feedback.

    Day 1

    Things are calm, guess I got it all out of my system for now. Right now I'm just thankful my setbacks are merely resets and not a full blown relapse.
     
  9. Slider8

    Slider8 Fapstronaut

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    This tactic is rather counterproductive because you affirm to yourself that you are sacrificing something valuable, suffering from something for a time. What it is exactly you sacrificing? What are the sufferings you got to go through? Rewards of no lust-pmo lifestyle are intrinsic and rewarding yourself for good work is really undermining your willingness to do it. Next time before doing anything good you might start thinking about the material reward and be rather unwilling to do it without reward. Don't try to tie up spirituality with personal gain . It might backfire.
     
  10. nerdy_owl

    nerdy_owl Fapstronaut

    Day 2 done!
    I run 12 km today I feel good! Keep strong my brothers!
     
  11. a_unique_user

    a_unique_user Fapstronaut

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    Day 1.
     
  12. Slider8

    Slider8 Fapstronaut

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  13. SSS Vision

    SSS Vision Fapstronaut

    I agree with @Kairose on this one: a fitness routine anchors all of my positive personal habits. When I am consistently working out, making progress toward specific training goals as well as maintaining the mindset of living a healthy lifestyle in general, it makes everything else easier for me. Choosing to eat wholesome foods, "not too much, mostly plants" is ten times easier for me when I am exercising regularly, while overdoing the fast foods and snack foods becomes difficult to avoid when I am slacking on the workouts. I have a daily routine that starts with a good workout; the workout ends with breathing and meditation and is followed by a shower with the last three minutes ice cold. This routine has helped me dramatically increase my self discipline. When I make myself exercise no matter what, it doesn't just train my body--it trains my mind to do hard things with delayed intrinsic rewards. The breathing calms and focuses me, and forcing myself into the cold water reinforces that feeling of "I can do hard things." And as noted, exercise channels surplus energy in a positive direction (and increases your overall energy levels, which willpower requires).

    There are some caveats to this advice, at least in my case.
    First, I used to tell my wife that getting fit made my libido rise, but that was a self deception. Being around fit women wearing almost nothing, or watching workout videos with very scantily clad fitness models, and focusing on their bodies, made me horny. Gyms can be tough places to handle when you are recovering from PMO, and fitness videos can absolutely be porn substitutes. So control your exercise environment so you don't spend the entire time depleting your willpower by exposing yourself directly to extreme temptation for an hour. I work out alone, and no more videos.
    Second, I found that if I emphasize my physical appearance, shape, or outward results in my training, I end up basically objectifying my own body. Meaning that I start thinking more of myself for being more physically attractive (by the crazy standards of this world), or less of myself for not being as attractive. This leads directly to objectifying everyone else around me by implication, and valuing others by their outward appearances warps your perspective. Not only does it make PMO seem more appealing to me, but it leads to dissatisfaction with my real life spouse and relationships. So I consciously remind myself daily that neither I nor anyone else is defined or measured by their physical appearance, and that souls are where true beauty rests. I also set fitness goals that are based on long term health or specific performance milestones, rather than how my body looks. In short, don't work out to get hotter, work out to master your body.
    Third, building reserves of willpower by training your self discipline is a powerful tool, but relying on willpower alone is always a recipe for failure. Eventually, something will happen to deplete your willpower, and in that moment if you were just white knuckling your way through a reboot, you're probably going to relapse at the first opportunity that comes up when your discipline tank is on empty. You need to recognize this, and tap into power beyond yourself. This starts by removing the NEED to constantly exert your willpower--it is easier to AVOID tempting situations than to ESCAPE from them once you are there. Marshall all of the forces of your environment to work in your favor (instead of against you as constant drains on your willpower). Remove potential PMO cues relentlessly--from your living spaces and workspaces, from your activities and entertainment, and from your devices and daydreams. Get support--like this forum, and accountability partners, and actual support groups--and stick with it. Seek help from a higher power--for me, that is my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. Bring all of this external power to bear on your efforts to change your habits.

    One final key thought: Stay super clear about your "WHY" you have decided to permanently quit PMO. Relapses don't mean you have something wrong with you. I think they indicate one of three things:
    1. You have impotent goals--your reasons for quitting are not stronger than your reasons for fapping. Perhaps you haven't really decided to give it up permanently, or don't believe you really can (or should). Find and focus on your WHY.
    2. You are relying too heavily on willpower instead of limiting the need for it and tapping into external strength when you are low on self discipline. When the reboot feels extra hard, that's a sign you are still too dependent on willpower.
    3. You are ignoring internal warnings repeatedly until you get into a situation where the addictive elements of PMO are too strong to overcome. Even people with a strong sense of purpose and a strong network of support and solid habits can fall to PMO if they deceive themselves past the point of no return. Set hard limits that are well BEFORE that point for you.

    And that's my check in for today. @RiseToGreatness, thanks for the new bow! Perfect timing.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2022
  14. Say_Goodbye

    Say_Goodbye Fapstronaut

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    Thanks brother , I appreciate it. And I honestly look up to guys like you in this forums, being able to make it that far as you did is impressive, I will sure take that advise and use it.
     
  15. Say_Goodbye

    Say_Goodbye Fapstronaut

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    To answer your questions. I rarely go outside, when I do is to go see some friends who either also enjoy staying in doors or spend the whole day playing card games which I hate so I choose to spend a lot of time by myself. I once went to volunteer at an orphanage twice, to get more outdoorsy but got turned down twice the lady said they weren't taking an volunteers since the pandemic or the kids are fine they don't need a lot of help at the moment. It's like they are basically saying we just want your money, we don't want your time or anything else
     
  16. stronaut2021

    stronaut2021 Fapstronaut

    Day 4

    Not too much to report, just a quiet Sunday.

    And the journey continues...
     
  17. Say_Goodbye

    Say_Goodbye Fapstronaut

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  18. kaerhal

    kaerhal Fapstronaut

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    Day 65

    One of the Priests I work with asked what the ‘64’ meant on my phone screen; I explained that it was a count of the days I’ve abstained from PMO, and the smile that came to his face is one I’ll not soon forget.

    It feels nice to be in a place where I can comfortably talk about my struggles, and that I’m not met with judgement or negativity from those I talk to. Even my anti-porn friend is hugely supportive of my recovery, as she recognises it’s not easy in modern society to deny lust rather than responding to it.

    A few more days until I’m a warrior, and then just another month until 100 days - what a journey! You’re in my prayers brothers and sisters.
     
  19. MS PBH

    MS PBH Fapstronaut

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  20. Dominikfhj

    Dominikfhj Fapstronaut

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