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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Day 48, almost a dwarf. Dwarfs are the best.
Check in day 164
Checking in Fellowship Friends!
Day 0 free of PMO.
I sorely relapsed, two MOs in the span of 24 hours to a porn substitute. I had a discussion with a trusted confidant, the individual in question placed a seed of doubt in my mind that the temptation demon exploited. That brilliant idea was "why not MO once in a while", it'll relieve your stress. Needless to say, the addicted mind jumped at the opportunity to relieve all the urges of the crush and ex that I've been having. Do I feel better? No, I feel disappointed, frail, tired and extremely upset for letting this happen and doubting myself.
This last month has been rather dreadful, 460 days free of porn broken, 411 days free of MO broken, to 2 MO sessions and 20 days free of porn broken. Isildur would be happy, giving in to the temptation of the ring.
I'm going to be taking some time away from nofap, from the internet really. I will return, just not for a little while. Just as the Ranger left Rivendell , I will be leaving to reflect on my own for a little while. There is much that I need work on. I aim to return stronger.
Stay strong my friends.
0 days >> Nazgûl (You were once a man, a King, now fallen to the power of PMO)
Regain your strength and determination brother... We'll be waiting for you whenever you feel to come back.
You still someone that I admire, so don't feel bad about that, we are humans, we make mistakes and if you did one time you will reach another good strike again! keep strong!
Middle urges yestarday, keep strong my brothers!
PMO today. Nazgul.
Rise and rise again ,
Until lambs become lions.
Quite an impossible task you set for yourself for we live very much in the digital age. I know that the wish to stay alone comes from crashed feeling of self-worth. Like if you don't want to contaminate your brothers with the perceived internal filth on the loose in your soul. The thing you need to do is to repent, to feel sorry for harm you done unto yourself and to everyone in your word. Your have to firmly renounce all lust-pmo and promise(and really mean it) to never do it again. Then God will forgive you your sin and you'll be born anew for the path you chose to walk.
Psalm 51 :14Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. 15O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. 16For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. 17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
It is easy to binge in the 'mud' when you have fallen and all covered in it. You think what the hell, but you don't even know how much you've got to live. The ancient wisdom says that we should live every day as if it was our last-without regrets and amending wrongdoings asap. The binging is a shift in our view of ourselves to an animal side which like a pig or a dogtend to enjoy the 'mud' whilst walking on the path requires us to be and stay humans, to learn and to use our reason. Know that every day is a step to the future so which future another day of binging tales you to?...and you got to have a right view on the matter- every day on the path you can already be White wizard...it all depends on where your mind dwells at.
Checking in day 117.
Strenght & Honor!
so sorry for you bro come back to the Fellowship when you feel better (but keep some form accountability to prevent binging).
Bro, overall, you´re not losing, you´re still winning!! you stayed hundreds of days clean from porn and masturbation, so you can do this for life. there´s no doubt about it.
i think what you need to do is to develop coping skills to deal with stress and hurt:
use the 3 minute breathing meditation to ground yourself. next, you attack the racionalization:
"am i a guy who can keep masturbation under control?"
"shit, am i a guy who wants masturbation in his life at all?!"
the answer will be a quick "no" "no". so next you purify your desire:
"ok, i still want something! so what do i really want?"
and the answer will pop easily, maybe you´re tired, maybe your lonely, wanting to have fun, wanting to feel better, etc.... find the core desire, make an action plan for it (with good solutions), and follow through.
I hope this helps
Checking in Fellowship.
All is good on the reboot department, but i feel very tired cause i stayed at the hospital with my father all day, so i´m very tired now. i´m just gonna do a quick check in.
Have a good day
Hey, you are over 30, excellent!!
And is it everything ok with your father?
Day 8 - Uruk – Hai (You feel stronger and faster but you´re still a slave to the PMO ring. A desire arises to break free from it´s chains)
I am so tired, I need to sleep. Yesterday night I woke up with asthma and I had to nebulize. Almost no time to think in urges or PMO but the thoughts always try to penetrate my mind.
Checking in, keeping the stress at bay by being productive at work.
@Redemptionisrequired -- So sorry for the disappointment you feel right now. That was an awesome streak to break. Glad you recognize that PMO will never be a fulfilling answer to anything that ails you. Come back soon and keep sharing your wisdom and strength with us.
“Your time will come. You will face the same Evil, and you will defeat it.” – Arwen
You know what you have to do ranger; I won't lecture a man who has ventured far closer to the mountain then I ever have. I know we'll meet again and we'll complete the journey. We'll wield the blade of kings to victory!
This week has been a crazy roller-coaster of ups and downs, today i had almost 0 urges, and if you remember i said that yesterday was one of the hardest days of my journey so far. Looks like there's calm before the storm, but there's also calm after the storm. This is nice.
I'm saddened by @Redemptionisrequired fall recently, i think most of us members of the fellowship felt the same. We cannot let his relapse go in vain, we gotta learn by his experience and get stronger, we gotta pick ourselves up and fight! Do not forget, maintaining constant mindfulness is a PRIORITY. Keep your mind clear from impure thoughts, they'll come to you, just accept them and leave them be!
We gotta be here, stronger than ever for when Redemption comes back. If one falls each and every one of us falls, we must keep our duty to reassure that our fellowship remains strong against demons and enemy invaders.
Remind your brothers of their duties, remind your brothers of the actions they have to take in order to achieve success!
Strenght & Honor!