The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 52 complete

worked from home. Had some big urges, but survived them quite well. Going to sleep on time is going well, but sleeping well is not going well. For some reason I start coughing a lot in the evening, I am not sure if it’s reflux or maybe covid, it doesn’t let me sleep well.

 

Good night fellas! Today was an okay day. I'm kinda sick, but it could be worse. At least it cuts off all my drive for PMO.

 

That is a cool idea bro!

 

congratulations!

 

congratulations!

 

Day 24

 

Day 6 complete!

The urges are ramping up, that's for sure. Still clean though. The urges want to be seen; they are trying to get my attention. Once I tell them that I am aware of them, they don't need to have any more power over me. Urges arise in our lower, more animal faculties, the memory, imagination, perception, that sort of thing. If we have the strength to keep the fight on the level of our rational faculties, our intellect and will, then we can win. That is where we are strongest and that is how porn breaks us, by making us less human so that we don't even have access to the tools to fight it.

St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us!

 

Day 3 - Orc, The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

Nothing major to report, it was a good day

 

Day 5

Feeling pretty depressed. The crypto market has been taking a beating and like most people I'm down. What really bugs me though is that the people that run a crypto group I used to be part of have been giving what seems like bad advice and being pretty brutal with banning people that call them out on some of the wild price predictions they've made and other stuff. I guess the truth is no one knows with this kind of stuff, but I'm disappointed with the dishonorable behavior.

On another note probably a bit over a week ago this woman from Florida texted me thinking my number was her friends number even though I live in Canada. We've been messaging back and forth, but she sent me this kinda bitchy message today so I'm just not going to respond. I've had enough of bitches!

Urges are still pretty strong, it's like my brain doesn't know what else to do but PMO, but this will pass and the brain fog will start to clear...

 

Day 1
Today is my three years anniversary for starting to take anti-depression medication. And I would not be here writing this without the treatment. I was depressed to the point of killing myself, stuck at a job at a law office that I've hated but was too afraid to do something about. I couldn't function without smoking weed all day long and the only thing that gave me any "joy" was to watch porn.
I won't pretend that the medication solved any of that, it didn't. But it gave me the strength to get out of bad and do something myself. And that was the first step for me.
After I finely stopped working there (and covid hit) I decided on April 2020 to completely change my life. I quit weed and decided to become a software developer. And after all this time (and getting married and moving into a new country and even becoming a Hobbit in this challenge a couple of times).

Yesterday was my first day and I'm officially a "junior frontend web developer". But even more importantly is the fact that the people in the company were so nice that I didn't even know what to say and I felt like crying.

So I'm still an Orc. But I'm the most grateful Orc in all of Mordor. And if you feel truly stuck and depressed, consider therapy and medication, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Thank you for coming to my Tad Talk

 

Day 6 complete

 

181 palindrome

 

Day 465 no PMO. Good day yesterday with no urges. Did my volunteer job at the church. Got some good work done. Soon I will be one month from the 500 day goal.

 

Day 30
Hi Fellows, I hope you're okay.
I'm going to meditate : )
I want to observe how my mind work

 

Day 4 check in

 

Dawn of the 76th day.

 

Congratulations brother!!

 

Me want be hobbit
2

 

Day 7!
Low urges yestarday, worked out and trying to eat healthy. It's courious what kind of food hava a lot of calories, it's funny to think that sometimes we usually think like, it's not as unhealthy, but it is. Trying to be focused and avoiding social networks.

Keep strong my brothers!

 

Checking in--no strong urges the past two days, despite running a trail race that included large numbers of very fit, attractive women in very revealing athletic attire. Still noticing the noticing, making every effort to see people not objects of lust, and still focusing on good habits as a foundation rather than constant reliance on willpower.