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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
yes bro, Education is better than other jobs bro.
Do it hard
Let's start the journey from beginning.
Let's begin the Journey bro!
Day 2 complete. Definitely won some battles today, so I'm proud of that. Early in a streak, when the memory of a relapse is fresh, it's easy to remind myself of how useless and disgusting PMO is. I wish I could extend that feeling so that I never forget and I can always remind myself why I choose every single day to leave this behind.
@Ready to Stop You'll have to tell us how it went! I've run a few half-marathons before but the full thing sounds like it's on an entirely different level.
St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!
1 days >> Orc (The spell of porn is strong in you)
I have cast off the cloak of the Nazgûl and rejoined the realm of the living... Or at least I think.
Today I faced an interesting test. When I was out for my walk I saw what looked to be a torn out picture from a magazine that was placed on a bench along the side of the path. Out of the corner of my eye I saw what looked to be the female form. A voice in my head instinctively told me not to look at it knowing it seemed to show a lot of skin, but I didn't heed. I found myself staring at the picture of a topless woman! Who would expect to see porn on a public path?! My attention got stuck on it for a short period before I tore my attention away and kept on walking. On the way back I didn't look and used the experience to test my willpower. I don't know if this counts as looking at porn though, so I will let our resident Valar @RiseToGreatness decide.
In the event that I am in the clear and the journey continues then I am now an Elf twisted and ruined by the dark powers of Melkor; an Orc! I serve the dark lord in Mordor for now, but I'll be free of his chains soon enough. My first major goal is to make it to 30 days and become a pure Elf as all Orc's were meant to be!
I can definitely feel a certain heaviness, but I'm better then I was yesterday. Yesterday I felt so exhausted I couldn't even complete my walk I felt so bad. I felt really uncomfortable and awkward walking around today though, especially walking by girls. I didn't really want anyone to approach me in general though; social anxiety was very high. One step at a time I guess...
Day 48 complete
I last posted on wednesday morning. Wednseday went good, my wife was home with me most of the time. But for thursday and friday I also stayed home because I got sick again and I was left alone completely. Thursday was bad, I looked at a lot of sexy girl images, not any P content though, even when I didn’t want to. On friday I managed not to look at any girls even at social media profiles. And saturday was a great day with my wife at home, still being sick. Today I am still sick. I feel like I am loosing this game of life, so I am coming back to sleeping 8-9 strict, no video games even on the phone and reading before bed. Right now I am sleeping < 8, I have more time, but I waste much more of it. And I am determined to eat one clove of garlic with every dinner for the health.
This battle seems to have ramped up in difficulty in recent days; I’ve been aroused nearly all day, persistent erections, and I even had a dream that I was watching porn! While I can’t help but laugh at the latest part, it’s still annoying to feel like I’ve failed - even if it was only a dream!
Two days ago everything was going great. But that night I went out and had a couple of drinks and when I came back I watched Porn. I stopped and got my shit together but it was definitely a relapse. I’m just happy that I stopped and didn’t finish or binge. Yesterday I acted right and I feel fine now. So I’m not happy about it but it could have been much worse.
DAY 0 - Beginning of DAY 1
Yesterday I had a relapse again - it was only small and very short but relapse is relapse. I need to be very strict with this addiction otherwise it will always try to find ways to slip through!
Changed my Challenges to "Counters" - I think if I count my minutes/hours/days its better for me because then I always see my monthly progress as a whole which will motivate me more . So no more challenges (except TLotR ofc )
Today I did the following routines:
5 min Meditation
2 min cold Shower
1 min Hand-Stand
2 min Gratitude
2 min Self-Love
2 min Reasons-to-quit
Now (for example) a 2 min cold shower would give me 2 points in awareness and willpower - self-love would give me points in self-love ( ) and Gratitude would be awareness and faith.
Day 1 check in
Wow time is moving fast! I logged on to see I have finally arrived safe in the shire Blessed sunday to you all
Did a 40 min intense push-Workout (at home) -- no more excuses now!
good luck bro!
yeah, i don´t see that like a relapse. you didn´t search for it, it was on a public place, so that´s ok, it´s a slip, at most. carry on but be careful with those things. curiosity killed the cat.
Checking in Fellowship!!
Sorry for not posting in the last days, very busy days. I´m feeling solid, no hesitation, and my social anxiety is a lot lesser, i´m feeling better by the day . unfortunatelly i slipped yesterday on food and sugar, during and after a birthday party. so from now on i decide to do a preemptive entry in my journal everytime i face a social event with possibility of food and sugar binging. that will help me stay grounded and focused.
Today, as consequence, i´m a lot tired and demotivated. but such is live, living and learning.
Have a great day my friends, and a great week ahead!
Checking in day 197.