Day 18 / 1000. Battles won against pmo: 67. Not sure what I feel. Very moodswingy. Today I was attacked by huge depression and irritability. I have noticed that peak of first wave of withdrawals is around day 20 usually. So it could be that this is not the end. I have to stay ready. The worst part of this hard mode thing for me is that my past is surfacing to me. I like when it's some good memory. But mostly it's painful stuff - things that I cannot change, people that I can't apologise to, people that hurt me, habits that I cannot inforce retroactively,... Sometimes I just wish I could wash everything away, but I can't. My past is what formed this me. So many lessons learned. It would be a shame to forget them. But I still would like to make a peace with my past. I don't know how. Spoiler: Journey stuff Stuff that should help to not pmo: 1. No internet for recreational purposes until 6 pm. 2. Waking up on the same time every day.