The Lord of the Rings Challenge

113 days, the end of the legacy challenge. Today I begin anew with the new challenge. There was no relapse. Just seems fitting to start from scratch to honour the new challenge.

Day 0 - Interim

@Ready to Stop

Since I started reading The Bible I take a little more note of idols or "gods" we can end up worshiping. "500 days" can easily become an idol to worship. In the grand scheme of things there is no Great PMO Ring for us to destroy. To me this challenge is a fun theme to go about recovering from my past decisions and temptations. The journey of my life goes far beyond 500, or even 750, days.

I turn to God as I understand God. At times a challenge such as this is provided by God to aid in our journey. That's how I'm looking at it.

 

Hi brother, on some level I kind of thought it could happen but because of a different reason. Staying healthy / in good shape/ keepinng a relationship in a good place are not goals with an end date, and so is staying clean from temptation. And this porm and challenge is helping with more than just porn, this is a great community to help us stay grateful and strive to be better versions of our selves and when we feel strong we can even help pick up other.

Somehow it really reminded me of the movie "van wilder", where the cool college guy keep on getting 86/100 on every test so he would not get kicked out but also won't graduate because he love that place.

Having 500 days makes you a giant among us, and it kind of forces you to leave the challenge whether you want to or not.

Now you are still a giant, you are still amazing and there is not one of us who think that you have failed.
But you "earned" another 6 months to play around in middle earth, helping others and yourself becoming better versions of ourselves.
I'm proud of you.

 

THis is a must

 

It's okay bro, Let's start The new Journey.


Day 74
It's okay to be weak, but we try to be strong .We are all going to make it brahs

 

36 days
Low urges yestarday. Today already in the office with a lot of things to do. I didn't worked out, I was really tired, but tommorrow I will return to it. At least I took a cold shower.

Keep strong my brothers

 

Checking in day 240.

 

It is a torture when you believe something to be true but cannot make it true whilst the time given to you goes by without much if any changes in circumstances. Unless all dots are connected and we pluck up enough courage and persistence to act accordingly to our believed truth we will stay in our current life circumstances indefinitely. I think that thinking on paper/journalling can help with connecting dots of our current situation but the courage to act can only be found in dreaming about destination which may be only one of our endless journeys.

 

Relapsed.
Early check in/out

I feel so numb. Today was a horrible day. Work wasnt easy.
But I was able to do morning routine. And I was able to locate a feeling.
A feeling of pain and loneliness. I have nobody I can talk to... Noone I can tell anything.
Some Days I thought this would be a blessing but recently its a curse.
I dont know why Im so closed - why I fear to open myself to people...
But I know now I need to change that fast.
It feels like Im dead alive. Thats why I relapse. Thats why I waste my time...
I dont want to feel those things. But I need to...

Im grateful for this forum and your help so far.
Noone can do this all alone. Neither can I

Greets!

 

Day 50
Some urges are bothering me throughout the day, but I've been managing them well enough. But still I think I could be more extreme handling them.

@Ready to Stop, we are here for you, you're a great man rising up again. Humbleness is all.

 

You need to accept full responsibility for your life and for the way you feel, for only in acceptance of it lies the power to change it. And maybe you afraid to open yourself to people because that would be like you trying to shake that responsibility off your shoulders on somebody or something else and you don't want to believe in the lie of 'victim of circumstances,other people etc.' Set yourself a goal the one you really want to accomplish,eliminate what stands in the way to it and that would be where you would start to become alive with full realization of it coming on your dream coming true. Relapsing is like shaking off responsibility and allowing nightmare of stagnation to continue. To arms brother -set yourself a goal and dedicate it most of your time which before was wasted!

 

I do not agree with this. I believe that procreational activities(=having as a goal creation of children and in honest not as a cover to indulge in in lust) are good but what is called sex is sin,pornography and lust which is knocking down our health exactly in the same way masturbation does,with exactly the same effects on consciousness,attention and comprehension..

 

Day 27!

Im very sorry to hear about recent relapses of fellow ringbearers. But it just goes to show that we can never fully destroy the ring.

Like with any addiction, the “recovered” addict will always have a skewed relationship with the substance, and the temptations of it will never fully go away.

But the longer we stay clean, the weaker those temptations will be, and we may go months and years without a desire to indulge in the substance.

But an urge can always strike, like lighting from a cloud free sky, and make us relapse. So we must never forget that, and stay sharp and determined every day for the rest of our lives.

Don’t worship the goal, worship the journey. Because the journey continues your whole life.

 

221

 

Fasting
I'm doing 3 day fast, specially becuase I want to gain some extra energy.
I always find fasting really helpful to rejuvenate my body, brain and mind.

 

Starting again - day 0 !

Bit of an update on my current situation.

Me and my girlfriend of 1.5 years have sat down and had a talk about us. And we have decided that our relationship has reached its "best before" date. It simply takes more than it gives at this point. And its been draining me for so many months. I feel very numb - but I am also sensing this huge relief. It feels like a ton of my shoulders. It's of course sad but I feel like this is a new chapter. I've been having insane days at the gym lately, and starting to believe heartbreak really is the best pre workout

Now what remains is getting someone else to take over our contract for our apartment so we can part ways swiftly.

It's been so amazing and I have learned so much from this girl - but I'm still young.

The past is the past - and the past is not my concern