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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Day 5 complete! With rain and fog I enter the old village of Bree.
Still nothing to report. It feels a little odd to be saying that so often, but I ought to be grateful! Urges leaving me alone is better than urges tormenting me all day long. According to my running schedule I should have gone yesterday; that didn't happen, but I was able to make it up tonight. Staying strong!
St. Sebastian, pray for us!
62 (30 hard mode) days complete
A good day. Mostly temptations to look at women and some fantasies mostly about my wife while I was working. Other then that it went well.
Hard mode complete! The hard mode will most likely continue for some time but it will not be intentional.
Dawn of day 3. Had stronger (than usual) urges when I woke up. But I persisted. The steepest climbs lies before me. If I can’t scale the mound that is day three, how shall I ascend the mountains that awaits me?
Day 10, I'm very proud (And also a bit of shame), But this is my best streak in 2022!
My biggest fear right now is how much I don't feel like what all of you are describing on dealing with urges. I'm embarrassed to say it but for Me it's usually just go from super motivated to full relapsed within seconds from the hit of the urge...
So right now I'm fine. But I know that the real test is would I be able to fight the real urges when they come
Day 24 no PMO. Had a good day overall. Spent the evening entertaining my daughter, her friend and her friend’s dad. Stress is building a bit from work but I should be ok.
105 days You reached Henneth Annûn, a hidden refuge of the Rangers of Ithilien. You´re now the commander of army´s and ruler of hearts. People love you. “Who am i?” “You are our King, sire!”
Pull through the pain.
Checking in Fellowship Friends!
29 Days Free of PMO.
Today will be a challenging day, standing tall against it and facing whatever comes forth, at the best of my ability, is the only way to pave a new path.
Dawn of the 30th day.
Thanks for the reply. One thing I learned from when I attended SA was that coming forward to the fellowship is very important. Keeping that incident in would be one of the worst things I could do for recovery. When I reflect, I should have brought my thoughts about condoms forward to the fellowship before I took any action. As we walk the recovery road we all get a better idea of what we need to surrender to keep us from falling hard.
Day 27 check in. Tied my record. Almost a third of the way to 90 days. I am sure it will take longer because of the length and severity of my addition. Multivitamins for the brain and covenant eyes seams to be doing the trick. I suppose maybe I have put things into place and God is doing the rest. Have the odd urge. The idea that someone will see what I am up to keeps me from doing it. The secrecy was huge for me.
Been dreaming lots the last 5 nights. Had dreams 4 out of 5 nights. Powerful ones. A good sign my brain is healing. ☺️ Had a sexual one the night before last. Powerful. Had some terrible traces the following day. Seams to be good now. Maybe a sign I am coming out of flatline? Maybe. I am having powerful dreams. Feeling incredible. I feel calm. I think that is the best word do describe my general feeling.
Day 0 ...
Feeling restless & angry a bit as usual. The gym cured it. During the gym, yet another attractive woman again. She was with a younger sibling (sister), and sister's friend I believe.
I don't mean to make anyone relapse but she had a big butt. I was tempted to look at it and check her out but good thing I decided to looked away. Younger sister seem kind of cute. Any way, I mind my own business start training. There were two other cute girls that seem attractive. Nice legs and hips. But that was it. I overcame. I felt so relieved that I overcame a relapse yesterday though. That give me motivation today. It was a pretty good day. I had small urges before that. That was all.
Lastly, I forget to mention. This has to be worth every effort. Keep in mind, even though I'm day 10. I have been on SR/NoFap for 18 Days now. And now I'm on no PMO for 10 days as well. I feel like I regaining back my health back but slowly. This is making feel more encouraged. Not only that I have been taking some of nooptopics every day and accompanied with the pre-workout (When I plan on working out) that I am taking which I call "liquid confidence" (I don't drink alcohol anymore btw). Maybe because it contains the same ingredient on the nooptopic that I am currently taking. SR/NoFap/no PMO plus pre-workout drink. Feeling as if I am regaining back my confidence within myself day by day. As I said, I can keep and I hold eye contact better with anyone. Just the side effect of restlessness and anger. I have to say this is so worth. I feel my aura might be more noticeably a little day by day. Because of this, it makes me want to retain further and further. Makes me feel better and better slowly. This is totally worth doing. But this not for the weak. Now I have more of a pure intention when I finally started doing this. I think this why I am succeeding now. Oh and btw before I decided to start all this, I have done 3 - 4 weeks without MO but still looking at P*rn. Without tracking btw. But now I am here and I want to go further. I feel I am getting the benefits day by day. More importantly, my health & confidence. Not 100% but I can feel it is getting better.
I have my goals to achieve for ranks over here but whether I am here or do decide to do this alone maybe later. I know I can do this. I can achieve it and there is no turning back for me once that happens. Yes, I am still getting stares. I will let you know if more female attraction is start coming more my way. If your interested. Nothing too drastic yet. I feel they are staring at a glance there sometimes. As far as others, possibly. Maybe more and more will get jealous because of my aura improving. Because of SR/NoFap including no PMO.
This was a good day! I will continue fighting. I know I love women too much but this is just motivating & firing me up not to release. Just saying. Don't relapse, this is so worth it. I hope this might encourage someone here. My fire inside me is building again. Hopefully it will become a bonfire constantly once all said and done!
I feel like going in a ice bath like the one in Ben Affeck's Daredevil if anyone ever seen the movie. I just want to jump in and relax in there for 30 mins - one hour in a half. I only have a bath though. I just want to relax & clear my mind.
I think those ASMR/Live videos on calm/relaxation videos on Youtube may help me a bit for the restlessness. I should do it more often though. So far the gym is curing it.
Fasting, I will eventually do it.
Spending the night at Amon Sul. These Nazguls keep coming. PMO forces keep coming to attack again. Not today. Keep on Fellowship!
Stay strong! One month tomorrow.
Congratulations on that comeback brother . You slipped but you didn´t binge, and it´s safe to say that you´re out of the danger binging period now.
So congratulations on developing those skills, that is something that i´m still working on
Checking in brothers.
Still not feeling well, and my sleep is still not good. i do all my good habits but still can´t get to sleep properly. i guess i have to be patient and hope that the withdrawal passes.
Still, feeling like shit, i try to do the important chores and be responsable in my duties.
One thing that i noticed is, even feeling cold and rude like a brick, i can be more polite and nice than many of my co-workers. this says a lot about mental health of people nowadays
Thanks for reading me brothers. have a nice day
Checking in day 270.
Day 28 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 214 out of 222.
Another wet dream last night; definitely still living with a high libido and plenty of urges. I try to notice and move through them quickly and without fanfare, shame, or overemphasizing anything. I think it is important to remember that sexuality itself is a positive and good aspect of being alive, not something to equate with the saccharin sideshow of pornography or the self-absorbed compulsiveness of addiction. And I believe that simply being accountable the way we are to each other here, without shame or guilt or judgment, is a positive and good method of destigmatizing our sexuality and gaining greater awareness of where we are with it.
I got comfortable and a bit overconfident.
Time to start over.
26 days is an achievement though!
"I am worth the extra effort!."
I'm feeling good right now, I done my workout and took the coldest shower for 3 minutes.
Also trying to eat healthy, so I'm on top of my game