The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Check in day 15

 

30 DAYS!! WOO HOO!! This is the best. Thank you God. I am so stoked! I pray God keeps me sober from now on. This rules.

30 days – Your loved ones send you a gift as a token of their love. Radagast, the Brown, in his rabbit sleigh delivers you Evenstar – a silver necklace with a white stone. "When the memory of the fear and the darkness troubles you...this will bring you aid".
Quest Item – Evenstar


Just want to share this on this exciting day. A choral version of May It Be by Enya. Appropriate for The Lord of the Rings Challenge. May it give those who are struggling hope and consolation.

 

Yes, I know. I have to refrain from going a bit over detail on those things.

Yes, I have seen some stuff on here looking around here besides this thread. Good thing, I am not highly triggered for the most part. It would be a different if I was already while reading the details by other people's struggle. I am trying to learn from other's experience as well. Keeping that in mind.

 

37 days

 

Day 108

 

Day 66 complete

Hard mode continues. My wife's father died. I am not very much affected by that emotionally but it changes our plans. I am there for my wife and for her mother who lost a husband. We were camping but now we are packing and will join my wife's family. I am a bit tired and horny, even considering the circumstances there are chances of relapse

 

Sorry for your loss. My wife’s mother passed a few months back and it isn’t much fun even as the spouse. I’ll be praying for your family.

 

Day 28 no PMO. We spent the day cleaning up my mother-n-law’s house to get it ready for the market. I was super busy so not much time for urges. I did get a random fishing text message. I think my number has somehow gotten out and this happens more frequently now. It always starts with some dumb message where they pretend to know me. After that episode on LinkedIn a few months back I learned my lesson to not engage. Today I immediately just blocked the number and deleted the message. In the past I would have played along a little to see what the scam might be. Feeling good that I have learned from my past mistakes.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

33 Days Free of PMO.

I had a strong urge this morning, I deflected it with a cost/benefit analysis in my mind.

The plan for today is, Meditation, workout, exposure, reading and work.

Here are some notes I took down from yesterdays readings of Marcus Aurelius Meditations:

"It is thy duty to order thy life well in every act; and if every act does its duty, as far as is possible, be content ; and no one is able to hinder thee so that each act shall not do its duty."

Let's cultivate habits that support living, that is our duty.

Stay Strong!

@CALM IN SUFFERING My condolences, I wish you all strength in tackling the painful grief associated.

@Anew2019 Congrats on 30 days!

@SSS Vision Stand again, brother!

 

day 16 - No MO
day 0 - No P

 

Came back to realise I'm on day 106. I am King.

 

It's tough this week. No matter how much i encourage everyone here, i feel lost. Both in this discipline and in life. Career is not on right track either. I just don't know what to do.

 

Day 14

Well I had an strange dream before I woke up. Better sleep today. Nothing but the usual.

I went to the gym earlier and this time another location of the same branch that I go to. Lo and behold, 5 ladies that are attractive that were present this time. Expecting to be less people and no women. But then again as I said, I knew there were going to be there! Before I started this commitment to no PMO/SR & NoFap, now women are present each time. The other side wants me to release I see. 2 or 3 were the ones that I can be possibly attracted to and I would flirt & date. I believe some could just admiring and smiling to themselves when they see me. Nothing more because in my peripheral view I see them smiling at me. Well at least that was it is. I think need to take this as a blessing because it has not gone too far. It feels like I have no female attraction but then again quite a few might actually like me but they are going initiate anything. Just smiling that's all. Not that I am trying base my intention with only female attraction to starting this journey. This is more than that but I would like see the results of that more. Or maybe it happen until I hold on longer. We will see.

As far as urges, in the gym barely any but I like the ladies I mentioned. But I was tunnel vision with my training routine. However, my mind before that I think it would have build up urges because a live streamer (not a cam girl if you know what I mean) and her face looks the same like the P*rn star I was thinking of. Thinking under that category and yes I would relapse if I keep thinking further. I don't want to go into details because some of you might get triggered. Trying make this vague or less detailed as possible lol. It is important not to let your mind wander off into sexual related fantasies. Now you are going in dangerous when that happens. So immediately, I blocked it off in my mind when it started to wander off over that topic of sexual thoughts. Someone on the success stories section mentioned something like this experience so I had the same experience earlier.

Bored as well but I am still able to overcome the day. Usually, boredom eating is my thing when it comes to my diet. Which can be bad in certain situations. I have relapsed before because of boredom but now I think I can handle it now. I am more driven not to do the deed because of boredom ironically. Which is actually to say it was dumb reason to relapse even when I wasn't highly triggered. Not a good release to release. Boredom won't get to me to relapse. I'm good.

Onsight now. Keep on Fellowship!

 

@Kratos_GOW you sound tired. Maybe practice some self-care, be kind to yourself. Maybe reward yourself for achieving your goals. Sounds like you need to build yourself back up. You are doing great, keep it up.

 

Thanks man. I haven't been able to achieve anything major so maybe that's why i feel like this.

 

I'M IN!

 

Day 2 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 217 out of 226.

Thanks for the encouragement and support, fellowship!

 

Check in day 16

 

Day zero.

Feeling kind of down about breaking my “clean august” streak. But I hope I’ll bounce back.

Today for the first time I’ve tried to fight an urge and won the first couple of hours. I woke up and had the house all to myself and then I’ve just tried to do good things to make this a great day. After the urges picked up I started doing “ok” things like youtube and video games just to distract myself and I’ve planned a trip outside to see some nature, and just before going outside I’ve broken down and PMO. I lasted about 4 hours with this urge before failing. And I’m kind of proud of myself. After that first PMO I got really depressed and I was on the verge of a full binge but I got myself under control and I went on that trip.

Walked around in a nice forest while doing some meditation and now I feel much much better.

Tomorrow I’ll be going to my first “sexaholic anonymous” meeting. I’m really scared but I hope it could be the beginning of a really good thing.

My biggest lesson from today’s relapse is that I don’t do enough work on the reboot process while I’m not having urges. I need to give myself more time to study and make plans for these times.