The Lord of the Rings Challenge

[Mazda647]

Afternoon of the 38th day.

Day 111.
Yeah Palindrome....

Brother , How was your Wedding Day...

I'm long overdue for a check-in. The wedding day went well. Understandably tiring. My new wife and I got back from a little honeymoon on Tuesday. We are both settling in to living together. Neither of us were married
or lived with a long-term partner before so it's an adjustment.

 

[Slider8]

@PeaceOnEarth108 @Ready to Stop @CALM IN SUFFERING @DRaley @Gallade_Templar @kaerhal @Slider8 @i89rt5 @SSS Vision @Baki Hanma @Anew2019 @RiseToGreatness @Anas778 @Kratos_GOW @Redemptionisrequired

Guys, what reward porn gives you?

For me it's temporary stress relief, so I need to change Porn to the habit that would give me the same reward.

Brother, what reward meat gives you if you become vegetarian?

 

[Slider8]

Checking in day 278.

 

[hardcore_detox]

Regarding stress you mentioned meditation, this is a great habit. I also would suggest you look up Wim Hof breathing method. There is a beginner video on youtube for roughly 10 minutes. I've been doing it for a little over the duration of my streak and it has been a huge game changer for fear/anxiety.

Thank you very much, will check it out!

Brother, what reward meat gives you if you become vegetarian?

I'm not sure what you mean, can you explain?

Checking in

Good day, spent most of the day with the family, also went to the beach and done workout there.
Trying to reduce stress.

Also, thank you all for the replies!

 

[SSS Vision]

Day 0 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 221 out of 230.

I completed a full hardmode 90 days this year, and have since completed my 30 days harmode in a relationship another time. I feel empowered by these accomplishments. That being said, I only made it 5.5 days on this current streak before masturbating. No porn, but I was flirting with it by watching a sexually charged tv show.

@PeaceOnEarth108 @Ready to Stop @CALM IN SUFFERING @DRaley @Gallade_Templar @kaerhal @Slider8 @i89rt5 @SSS Vision @Baki Hanma @Anew2019 @RiseToGreatness @Anas778 @Kratos_GOW @Redemptionisrequired

Guys, what reward porn gives you?

For me it's temporary stress relief, so I need to change Porn to the habit that would give me the same reward.

Which brings me to this question, which several of you have already answered in ways I can relate to. I'm going to include masturbation in my answer, because although I feel much more strongly against porn use, I think the root reward system is the same for me in both cases.

• First and foremost, PMO an MO both provide a sense of control. They are a way to "Take care of my own needs" in an area where I feel a vast lack otherwise.
• MO affirms and expresses my sexuality without making me beholden to anyone else for it. It doesn't require a partner and is imaginative stress relief with minimal perceived consequences. I would prefer a sexual partner I can be fully comfortable and reciprocal with, but in the absence of such a person, and having strong beliefs about monogamy and fidelity, I don't see MO itself as immoral or wrong, just as less than ideal.
• PMO is more retaliatory in nature for me--it provides substitute sexual partners in place of my spouse. It has known negative neurochemical and psyhcological consequences, can be extremely addictive, and has potential real-world victims. It results in a loss of control for me, and I only use it in apathy or anger. Nothing about porn use is acceptable or positive for me, and I do consider it a self-absorbed and immoral practice for me personally.
• Having made the distinction between PMO and MO, and identified the common denmonitor as a need to feel in control of and not stressed out by my sexual nature, I can also say that both contain a strong element of fantasy indulgement for me. Sometimes this is just escapism (the desire to take a break from the demands of everyday life), but sometimes this comes from a sense of entitlement (the feeling that I deserve to be fulfilled sexually). From a PMO standpoint, the entitlement is based more in envy and regret (for example, feeling bad that I've never made love to a woman I consider outwardly attractive, or feeling cheated out of my prime years of sexual power, or seeing women whom I find exceptionally attractive and longing to have a sexual partner I was attracted to that much). PMO use is much more likely when I'm feeling entitled than when I'm just feeling stressed; I can handle escaping through MO alone indefinitely, but when I begin to feel cheated by life and overwhelmed by the sheer number of gorgeous women out there that I am "missing out on," it is possible to slip into porn use as a substitute.

I'm not sure what other habits would give me the same rewards as these; that's part of the issue. I don't want to deny my sexuality, and I do want to be healthy and in control of myself. I haven't figured out how to do this without MO in my current marriage, and we aren't ready to call it quits there. I think for now I need to recognize the negative and corrupting nature of porn use, and hold fast to a no-PMO mindset, and just consciously keep fighting to limit MO as much as I possibly can. Tracking my streaks and my overall success is helping with that, so I'll keep it up for now, and keep trying to learn of possibly better options for healthy sexual and emotional self soothing.

 

[Deleted Account]

Guys, what reward porn gives you?

I think you speak of PMO, porn in itself has no meaning of pleasant or unpleasant in itself unless you put that label on it.

PMO is just draining and if I ever ever do it, it's been years not doing it, I feel my mind becomes like a zombie and I lose my sense of reality and happiness, it's like being really drunk.

it's not enjoyable once you gain a higher sense of consciousness. Just like a person who is used to only drink the best wine and it's offered a cheap box wine, he just can't stand it.

PMO just feels like I'm hurting myself like someone is putting a drug in me without my consent and also I feel very lethargic afterwards with low energy.

 

[Deleted Account]

260

 

[ShieldofFaith]

I think you speak of PMO, porn in itself has no meaning of pleasant or unpleasant in itself unless you put that label on it.

PMO is just draining and if I ever ever do it, it's been years not doing it, I feel my mind becomes like a zombie and I lose my sense of reality and happiness, it's like being really drunk.

it's not enjoyable once you gain a higher sense of consciousness. Just like a person who is used to only drink the best wine and it's offered a cheap box wine, he just can't stand it.

PMO just feels like I'm hurting myself like someone is putting a drug in me without my consent and also I feel very lethargic afterwards with low energy.

I feel the exact same way. Like, you get a minute of "pleasure" and then you feel weak, totally drained, and with no energy. The more I did it over time everything in my life suffered because I lost all motivation and drive.

 

[Deleted Account]

I feel the exact same way. Like, you get a minute of "pleasure" and then you feel weak, totally drained, and with no energy. The more I did it over time everything in my life suffered because I lost all motivation and drive.

Porn feels like pleasure if you have a porn addict mind but if you have a higher state of consciousness it's the opposite of pleasure it's a painful experience.

In my experience it requires a lot of sacrifice and penance to achieve a state where porn is not pleasant. It's hard but worth it.

 

[RiseToGreatness]

@PeaceOnEarth108 @Ready to Stop @CALM IN SUFFERING @DRaley @Gallade_Templar @kaerhal @Slider8 @i89rt5 @SSS Vision @Baki Hanma @Anew2019 @RiseToGreatness @Anas778 @Kratos_GOW @Redemptionisrequired

Guys, what reward porn gives you?

For me it's temporary stress relief, so I need to change Porn to the habit that would give me the same reward.

Good question bro. I use porn for all kinds of stuff: emotional suffering relief, excitment, insomnia coping tool, sexual relief, manhood status, etc...

Of course, porn doesn't work on any of these things. It just masks them for a while... and makes then worst afterwards.

 

[RiseToGreatness]

Checking in Fellowship!

Good day so far, but i will leave my morning run for now. Its the 3d time that i ended up feeling really tired after the end of the run, even after a mild one, like today. So i will just workout at home and when i feel empowered i will run again.

@CALM IN SUFFERING sorry for your relapse bro. I wish to write more but i hate writing in this damn mobile

My advice is: write down. Write the internal and external events that lead to the relapse. Reflect and improve from there. And to increase the awareness: make it public, share with us. The more you stay in the open, the lesser the spell of the addiction, the greater the awareness and support, and the lesser the tendency to binge. Don't shy away bro, stay with us.
I hope this helps.

Nothing more to add Fellowship. Have a great day!

 

[Kaerhal]

@PeaceOnEarth108 @Ready to Stop @CALM IN SUFFERING @DRaley @Gallade_Templar @kaerhal @Slider8 @i89rt5 @SSS Vision @Baki Hanma @Anew2019 @RiseToGreatness @Anas778 @Kratos_GOW @Redemptionisrequired

Guys, what reward porn gives you?

For me it's temporary stress relief, so I need to change Porn to the habit that would give me the same reward.

The truth is that there is no reward - porn promises everything and delivers nothing.

Regardless of what I used to think before relapsing, porn never satiates us. I think I need to relapse in order to release stress? Running, exercise, and relaxing achieve the same effect without the guilt.

 

[Kaerhal]

Day 230

A busy one but a great day nonetheless. Had quite a few meetings but got to spend the majority of the day outside with my colleagues, and got to relax in the gym this evening.

When I was showering I realised how satisfying exercise has become, and I hope this new habit replaces the means of catharsis that PMO used to occupy.

 

[LLOYYD]

Day 18

Yesterday was ok. Bored & lonely. "Mr. Lonely all on my own ohhh" from the song by Bobby Vinton or by Akon lol...that is the side of effect of this journey.
I dreamt of something before waking up and now I forgot. A lot in my mind and rants as well.

Feeling better today. Maybe because I had more sleep. SR/No PMO plus good sleep equals better good mood. Although I can get tick off for the smallest things during my semen retention journey. I feel good right now.

Urges, coming from some online but more in the mind. Flashes in my mind of pron scene. It was a woman in the past I saw online and scene I couldn't find. Not sure if I saved it or maybe saved in the websites but she was beautiful. Not going into details. It kept popping in my mind and saying "Where can I find that scene?" Oh well it is lost any way. Or maybe I might find it later unexpectedly...That is weird. I didn't look any pron in the real life so I'm fine.

Yesterday, I went to the groceries and saw a mature woman...(Yes no details & she is attractive lol). And another attractive one seems young early to late 20s years old woman. That could have been a bit triggering if I kept on checking them out. That's it.

Hitting the gym late tonight/early morning when many people aren't around. Of course, there will be at least one attractive woman again while I am working out when the gym is empty/dead. I am never wrong at this point. Geez. Busy times are an exception because they are always one or more that can tempt you. Still not going to get me to release & relapse.

Thinking of reading all of The Lord of Rings books. I love the movies and that is how I got into it. 1 out of the many franchise that I liked the most. That will take a while though. Still thinking about it.

Leaving Riverdell. Keep on Fellowship!

 

[i89rt5]

day 19 - No O
day 1 -No P/M

 

[LLOYYD]

In my experience it requires a lot of sacrifice and penance to achieve a state where porn is not pleasant. It's hard but worth it.

Indeed 100% I agree

 

[PeaceOnEarth108]

42 days

 

[ShieldofFaith]

Day 7
Short temptations but no relapse. Looking forward to the next goal of 10 days. To infinity and beyond lol

 

[CALM IN SUFFERING]

@hardcore_detox , @Ready to Stop , @Redemptionisrequired ,@RiseToGreatness ,@Baki Hanma thank for yor support, it actually means a lot to me. After posting yesterday I relapsed one more time, though I couldn't say it's a relapse because I wasn't back on my feet. This time more regret was involved, I remembered the reasons why I joined here. I never binge on porn and in general I am much better at handling highly pleasurable activities then when I was a teen or before starting this recovery. I wish I could write all the reasons, but there is no time, we have to burry my wife's father's ashes. In about 30 mins it will be day 1 for me.

 

[Gallade_Templar]

Day 2 complete!

Day 0

I relapsed. And this time it was PMO, not only a P slip up like usual. It's been about a year since I MOed. There is not that much regret involved. I don't think I will get on my feet this week. Sorry guys.

You've already seen responses from many other guys, but I will echo their sentiments: get back on your feet right away! All your work so far and all the progress you've made are not meaningless.

Hi man, that sounds like a really great Idea.

I’ve been tracking my days for almost two years now and it really helped me and it’s a great visualization of the progress that we are making. The only advice I can give you (based only on my own experience) is just not to try and “capture” too much information on that chart. Your system sounds amazing, but it just takes a lot of energy to keep track of days and the more stuff I’ve tried to track made me lose those days entirely. At the beginning I used 3 or 4 different colors to indicate I PMO, did I write in this form, did I exercise, meditate and even more stuff. It just got out of hand.
My current system is simply, good day is a big red X, extra hard day / a little bit of fishing (before the rules of this challenge changed) but still without PMO. PMO - one solid black line. Edging - one dotted black line. So all I need right now is a calendar and just two markers and I can mark stuff down really quickly.
But anyway, try to find whatever works for you. I think it’s a great Idea.

Thank you! I only intend to use this sheet to track PMO, so it shouldn't be too much to handle. I'm only including the alcohol as well because that is a very strong indicator of PMO for me.

35 days Moria, the greatest Dwarven Kingdom, is before you. With a beard and a axe, you´re a Dwarf now.

YASS!!

An original composition about dwarves by one of my favourite singing group. I am pumped. I love this piece.

Dude, I love this group as well! All their work is fantastic. My two favorite pieces are The Song of Durin and Dwarven Forge.

@hardcore_detox For me, PMO is a way to escape loneliness. It serves as the foundation for fantasies that I am receiving love and giving love in a very intimate way, even though this is not what is happening at all.

St. Dymphna, pray for us!