The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 230

A busy one but a great day nonetheless. Had quite a few meetings but got to spend the majority of the day outside with my colleagues, and got to relax in the gym this evening.

When I was showering I realised how satisfying exercise has become, and I hope this new habit replaces the means of catharsis that PMO used to occupy.

 

Day 18

Yesterday was ok. Bored & lonely. "Mr. Lonely all on my own ohhh" from the song by Bobby Vinton or by Akon lol...that is the side of effect of this journey.
I dreamt of something before waking up and now I forgot. A lot in my mind and rants as well.

Feeling better today. Maybe because I had more sleep. SR/No PMO plus good sleep equals better good mood. Although I can get tick off for the smallest things during my semen retention journey. I feel good right now.

Urges, coming from some online but more in the mind. Flashes in my mind of pron scene. It was a woman in the past I saw online and scene I couldn't find. Not sure if I saved it or maybe saved in the websites but she was beautiful. Not going into details. It kept popping in my mind and saying "Where can I find that scene?" Oh well it is lost any way. Or maybe I might find it later unexpectedly...That is weird. I didn't look any pron in the real life so I'm fine.

Yesterday, I went to the groceries and saw a mature woman...(Yes no details & she is attractive lol). And another attractive one seems young early to late 20s years old woman. That could have been a bit triggering if I kept on checking them out. That's it.

Hitting the gym late tonight/early morning when many people aren't around. Of course, there will be at least one attractive woman again while I am working out when the gym is empty/dead. I am never wrong at this point. Geez. Busy times are an exception because they are always one or more that can tempt you. Still not going to get me to release & relapse.

Thinking of reading all of The Lord of Rings books. I love the movies and that is how I got into it. 1 out of the many franchise that I liked the most. That will take a while though. Still thinking about it.

Leaving Riverdell. Keep on Fellowship!

 

day 19 - No O
day 1 -No P/M

 

Indeed 100% I agree

 

42 days

 

Day 7
Short temptations but no relapse. Looking forward to the next goal of 10 days. To infinity and beyond lol

 

@hardcore_detox , @Ready to Stop , @Redemptionisrequired ,@RiseToGreatness ,@Baki Hanma thank for yor support, it actually means a lot to me. After posting yesterday I relapsed one more time, though I couldn't say it's a relapse because I wasn't back on my feet. This time more regret was involved, I remembered the reasons why I joined here. I never binge on porn and in general I am much better at handling highly pleasurable activities then when I was a teen or before starting this recovery. I wish I could write all the reasons, but there is no time, we have to burry my wife's father's ashes. In about 30 mins it will be day 1 for me.

 

Day 2 complete!

You've already seen responses from many other guys, but I will echo their sentiments: get back on your feet right away! All your work so far and all the progress you've made are not meaningless.

Thank you! I only intend to use this sheet to track PMO, so it shouldn't be too much to handle. I'm only including the alcohol as well because that is a very strong indicator of PMO for me.

Dude, I love this group as well! All their work is fantastic. My two favorite pieces are The Song of Durin and Dwarven Forge.

@hardcore_detox For me, PMO is a way to escape loneliness. It serves as the foundation for fantasies that I am receiving love and giving love in a very intimate way, even though this is not what is happening at all.

St. Dymphna, pray for us!

 

@Redemptionisrequired

Hi, I've done Wim Hof breathing combined with cold shower, it great, will do it everyday in the morning to relief stress,
Thank you so much for recommending it!

 

can u pls tell in detail what is wim hof breathing cuz I don't have access to any browsing I cant see it myself

 

Check in day 20

 

Have you blocked browser in order to avoid triggers?

I can't say that's its totally different from other breathing techniques,

It splitted in 3 rounds, each round consists of 30 deep inhales/exhales after this you should exhale and hold without breathing for
1st round - 30secs
2nd round - 1min
3rd round -1.5min
And then inhale and hold 15 seconds

It's feels like more extreme version of the other breathing techniques because of holding the air without breathing

Maybe @Redemptionisrequired has more to say, since I'm a noob

 

Day 33 no PMO. My trip is over and everything went fine. I fly home in a few hours and I’m excited to see my family this afternoon.

 

Checkin in. 114

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

38 Days Free of PMO.

Short bout with anxiety and lingering headache that resurfaced a bit. The temptation resurfaces in attempts to alleviate hardship, but I know it's all empty words.

Plan for today deep meditation, probably 2 sessions of 20-30 mins, exposure, reading and rest.

Stay Strong!

I'm so glad it helped you ! I was shocked at the level of impact it had on my stress and anxiety. Wait until you practice the breathing for a month, you'll notice a considerable difference. Glad to hear you're also throwing in the cold shower, i've been implementing it for about 1 week or so.

@ARCEUS

@hardcore_detox covers it quite well, the only thing I would add is your inhales through your nose, exhale through your mouth or nose is up to you. I inhale and exhale through my nose, sometimes I'll exhale threw my mouth for a rep or so. I do this practice first thing in the morning before anything else, it really helps set the pace for the day. The other thing that I would mention is never force it, lets say you are holding in your breath for 1 min and you can't make it to 1 min and 30, release. It's okay, build your stamina with time. Forcing it will not be beneficial , in fact it will work against you. While you are breathing in and out try to have momentum of breath in your stomach and chest. I believe he also has an app if you don't have access to browsing, but do so for the app store. Just look up Wim Hof in the app store, his app is WMH.

 

Nice man. Aren’t they great? I had never heard Dwarven Forge. Thanks for sharing. It’s so good. I love Song of Durin too. It inspires me in my music. I hope to be in a singing group like this one day. I also really love their interpretation of The Reproaches by Victoria. So good.

 

36 days hard mode.

Really wanting to start dating again. I should wait a bit more though. I have healed a lot. I think I will be able to attract woman easier now. I am so much more fluid when socializing. My voice is changing. I am connecting with people. I make way better eye contact. I am standing up straighter. How I view myself is changing. I won’t have the fear of having to be honest about my addiction to pmo. That is if I can keep clean.

Something strange happened. I was struggling with some urges yesterday and this morning. Very subtle but deep ones. I had put on grayscale on my Iphone and iPad. I turned it off, have full colour on my screens and the urges are gone. Very interesting. Maybe I need to ween myself off of Color screen. I guess I am also struggling with avoiding some stuff I need to do. That does not help. I should send that email. Also very tired. Worked 14 days straight, 12 hour days with a 45 minute bus ride each way. Glad I got out of that job.

I was quite blown away. The superintendent dropped by to see me at the end of the day to give me his number in case things did not work out with my new job. Said I was one of the few guys he liked on the job. I had only known him for like a week and a bit. I was floored by that. I guess I made a good impression.

There was one girl at work I noticed who was always staring at me. I had heard about this. This also gives me more confidence when I will be going forward with dating again.

 

day 20 check in - No O
day 2 check in - No P/M

Will go to the big apple for a weekend getaway, haven't been there for 3 years. Eye candies will be everywhere there, so I need to somehow minimize being triggered.

 

12 days
Low urrges yestarday, worked almost all day. Today I hope that will be a more relaxed day.

Today I worked out and took a cold shower.
Keep strong my brothers.