13 days Low urges yestarday, worked until 8:00 PM after that I started to browse so youtube stories and I did other things. That it's my exactly behavior before a relapse. Today I worked out(ran 10km) and took a cold shower. I have to resolve some job tasksthat I have so I on it. Keep strong my brothers.
K. Seriously! This is so cool! I am so glad I did not cave yesterday. I have never felt better. From day 16 to about 20 everything was so magical. It went away. The magic is back but way more. Ordering food I could not unlock my eyes from the cute cashiers. There was no awkwardness. It was magical. I can’t describe the feeling. The feeling of the sun on my skin is almost overwhelming. Every little sensory experience I have is amplified so much. Is this what my life will always be like if I continue to say no? Even if I get days like this here and there I will be happy.
Day 231/232 Apologies for missing yesterday’s check-in, I was late getting back to my family home! Had the strangest night this year by far; I had a dream in which I relapsed, but when I woke it appeared that I actually had relapsed. I often have dreams that blur into reality and I’m incredibly confused about it because I can only assume the relapse occurred during this time, but I don’t remember what brought it on or even being motivated by urges to relapse. I’m not upset by it as I wouldn’t describe it as a conscious relapse. I’m obviously a little disappointed as it means I won’t have gone the year without an emission, but as far as I understand it I haven’t failed the challenge.
Day 9 Urges getting slightly more potent but I've also been experiencing a new period of inspiration. Finding a lot of things to meaningfully occupy myself with and enjoy life/decrease stress.
Day 20 Woke up with 7 hours of sleep. Not bad. Skipped the gym and hitting the gym later. Will try to read on here or something today. Urges, not really many. But it happened again like yesterday. I came across a woman's social media page. As I was looking, all of her content was completely normal. But her last post was her wearing oversized t-shirt and her bottoms was exposed (not nude). Everything is normal but she had to throw in a sexy photo of herself. Very strange. Because of that I ended up getting a hard on from that. I wanted to sex now. Nope, I still resisted. Success. Every day, I have to practice patience because I am impatient. Maybe being in SR/NoFap/No PMO made me a little more impatient. I have a long way to go. I wanted to say more but now I forgot what to say. Maybe later I will write it here. I wonder if they will make a new movie the story the first. The story of the Valar and Aratar. The beginning of the First Age of the ring. The First Dark Lord before Sauron came into the picture. That would be interesting to watch in film. Moving along with the Fellowship. Watching along the way if there are PMO Orcs to attack. Keep on Fellowship!
Try to avoid social networks, at least for me it's the first place that my relapses starts. The urges will be less strong if you are out of them
It can be triggering at times. Not all social media is bad but it depends on how you use it. There is only a couple of platforms I don't like which I completely avoid not because of urges. For other reasons if I may say. I think I can manage as I said. I embrace the urges because that is where the real battle begins. It really test if I want this lifestyle or not. I have been successful so far and getting stronger day by day. I am resisting
Check in, yesterday was really a bad day, full of stress and depression, but anyhow I am still clean that's the main priority
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain." - Vivian Greene I admire your efforts. Keep up the good work!"
Back to Day 0. Was my most recent streak really only three days? Damn. It's like I keep getting worse and worse. I went for a big run today; it's a course I've done before but it's been a few months, so I found it really challenging. Still, I did pretty well, it was good exercise, and I was quite proud of my performance. The run left me exhausted, and in the shower afterward, I MO'd. It's not that I didn't have the strength to fight it--more like I didn't even have the strength to know that what I was doing ought to be fought. I debated whether to even consider it a relapse because the whole thing felt completely involuntary, but a relapse is a relapse. There wasn't any porn or p-subs, so that's a silver lining. In the Lord's Prayer, we reflect upon the ways we need forgiveness and how this has to be tied to our willingness to offer forgiveness. We must extend forgiveness to those who hurt us, and while thinking about this after my relapse, because I still had to pray my rosary, it occurred to me that this might be a reflexive action. PMO hurts me more than anyone else. I myself am someone I need to forgive for sinning against me. These thoughts brought me a small measure of peace, but it only tells me what to do, not how to do it. How can I forgive myself? Maybe I don't want to. I deserve all this shame and guilt I'm feeling. @Anew2019 In the middle of severe temptations, how are you able to hold on to thoughts of what our friends in heaven are doing for you? So many times I have tried to invoke the Blessed Virgin, St. Joseph, my guardian angel, St. Michael, and my Confirmation saint, but I can never do it when it really counts. It's like I forget how to pray and forget all about them because all I can focus on is the urge. St. Dismas, pray for us!
Hello guys, Yesterday I've moved to another city with my wife and our dog My NoFAP LOTR journey is quite solid so far, I don't need porn in my life to be happy. I'm continuing exercising and trying to make meditation(Wim Hof) + cold shower my daily habits, Also in our new apartments the cold shower is not very cold, I can stay in this shower for hours
Relapsed yesterday so back to day 0 for me. It happened quickly and I am still processing where I went wrong. I’ve already asked for forgiveness from God and forgiven myself so I’m hoping not to get caught in a shame, relapse loop.
Seems like a fun challange - i'm in! Planning to re-read the books along with the challange, and hence if i relapse i also have to go back to the first page of the first book and start anew. Hope this will add further incentives not to relapse
